


Small Town Kids

by jessamurphy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amusement Parks, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Cotton Candy Fluff, Diana is a dog, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Future Relationships, Happy, Ice Cream, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Jasper has a cat, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Prom, Road Trips, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Stargazing, Summer, Swimming Pools, Theme Parks, Underage Drinking, University, a lot of summer, also gardens, also high school, and polaroids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-05-30 05:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 73,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6410707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessamurphy/pseuds/jessamurphy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper Jordan lives with his mother, father, and cat in a detached house in the cool suburbs of a quiet American town. His father teaches at the town’s college, and his mother works a part-time job in the library. There is space between the houses, but not quite as much as Jasper’s dad would’ve liked. His wife loves it though, says it’s cozy, so he settles eventually; over the years, he will grow to love it. </p><p>Jasper has always been an excitable kid. So when it is announced that they are going to have new neighbors (Miss Nancy of number 23, left to their house, had passed away that fall; it was summer now), it is no surprise that their son, seven years old, ends up running laps around the house in excitement, letting out a few battle cries full of energy. When he is done running around, he steps inside, breathing heavily, but beaming ever so bright. He asks if they know who their neighbors are and when they are moving in. His parents tell him that they do not know the answer to his questions, and smile when he sighs. Jasper Jordan goes to sleep that night, wondering if he will make a new friend.</p><p>(OR: modern day au where Jasper and Monty meet when they are seven and Monty moves into town)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moving Around (Seven Years Old)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thomasnewtminho29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomasnewtminho29/gifts).



> This fic is very heavily Jasper/Monty centered. Minor relationships are very minor and will not be that visible- sorry! I will make a list of the chapters and the (first) appearances of characters and relationships, which I will post down below. Beware of spoilers (of sorts!)
> 
> The character apparition-list:  
> Chapter 1: Jasper, Monty, Hannah and Dave Green, Norah and Joseph Jordan, Fox, Bryan, Harper  
> Chapter 2: Jasper, Monty, Wells, Clarke, Harper, Bryan, Norah, Monroe  
> Chapter 3: Jasper, Monty  
> Chapter 4: Jasper, Monty, Norah and Jospeh Jordan  
> Chapter 5: Jasper, Monty, Fox, Wells, Clarke, Hannah and Dave Green  
> Chapter 6: Jasper, Monty, Norah and Joseph Jordan, The Green Family  
> Chapter 7: Jasper, Monty, John Mbege, Pascal and Trina, mentions of Charlotte, John Murphy, Dave Green, Clarke, Monroe, Wells, Fox, Harper, Bryan  
> Chapter 8: Jasper, Monty, Hannah and Dave Green, Marcus Kane, Finn Collins, Bryan, Clarke, Wells, Monroe, Harper, Abby Griffin, Octavia, Bellamy , Gina, Atom  
> Chapter 9: Jasper, Monty, Norah and Joseph Jordan, Bellamy, Clarke, Wells, Monroe, Harper, Bryan, Fox, Octavia  
> Chapter 10: Jasper, Monty, Maya, Monroe, Fox, Bryan, Clarke, Wells, Harper, Hannah and Dave Green, Finn, Octavia, Raven  
> Chapter 11: Jasper, Monty, Maya, Bryan, Harper, Monroe, Fox, Wells, Clarke, Miller, Raven, Norah Jordan  
> Chapter 12: Jasper, Monty, Raven, Octavia, Harper, Monroe, Octavia, Finn, Norah and Joseph Jordan, Miller, Bryan  
> Chapter 13: Jasper, Monty, Hannah Green, Norah Jordan, mentions of Indra, Murphy  
> Chapter 14: Jasper, Monty, Raven, Bryan, Miller, Murphy, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, mentions of Roan, mentions of Lexa, Fox
> 
> Here's a list if you're reading this for a specific non-jonty pairing :  
> Chapter 9: implied Octavia Blake/Atom  
> Chapter 10: Monroe/Harper becomes official, Maya Vie/Jasper Jordan  
> Chapter 12: implied Raven Reyes/Finn Collins, Bryan/Nathan Miller  
> Chapter 14: Mentions of Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, very subtly implied Clarke Griffin/Lexa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter in a not very well-planned multichap fic which will take us through Jasper and Monty's life. Later chapters will have more depth and structure to it, but I kinda just wanted to post this chapter. So far, sorry if it's not going anywhere! I promise it will get fluffier, funnier and generally...better. Bear with me as this is my first multichaptered fic ever.  
> Later chapters will involve other characters and relationships, like Bellamy, Murphy, Octavia, Monroe, etc., but as they're not there yet I'm not tagging them. For now, this is just sort of my crappy take on the Modern Day Childhood Friends AU, so I hope you all enjoy! :)

 

Jasper Jordan lives with his mother, father, and cat in a detached house in the cool suburbs of a quiet American town. His father teaches at the town’s college, and his mother works a part-time job in the library. There is room between the houses, but not quite as much as Jasper’s dad would’ve liked. His wife loves it though, says it’s cozy, so he settles eventually; over the years, he will grow to love it.

Jasper has always been an excitable kid. His parents had first seen this when he was a toddler, ready to learn to walk. He was so happy to stand on his own two feet that when he actually managed to do just that, he did a little dance and fell on his little bum. They still have it on tape, his parents; Jasper laughing loudly, dancing, and then falling over, their laughter audible in the background. So when it is announced that they are going to have new neighbors (Miss Nancy of number 23, left to their house, had passed away that fall; it was summer now), it is no surprise that their son, seven years old, ends up running laps around the house in excitement, letting out a few battle cries full of energy. When he is done running around, he steps inside, breathing heavily, but beaming ever so bright. He asks if they know who their neighbors are and when they are moving in. His parents tell him that they do not know the answer to his questions, and smile when he sighs. Jasper Jordan goes to sleep that night, wondering if he will make a new friend.

 

* * *

 

Three days later an unknown car pulls into the driveway next to them. Jasper isn’t there to witness it at the time, because he’s out playing in the park with Fox, but he notices when he gets home. It’s a slick car, shining in the sunlight, gleaming red and oozing an aura Jasper cannot describe but desperately hopes he will have one day; Jasper adores it. He goes inside his house to alarm his mother, who is moving around the kitchen so gracefully it seems like she’s dancing. At the sight of her son, she extends her arm to hand over a bowl of something, and then smiles at his confused look.  
  
„It’s for the new neighbors,” she explains. „What do you say about bringing the welcome gift together?”

„Let’s do it!” Jasper exclaims, his little heart racing in his chest. The last few days he had been up fantasizing about their new neighbors; he’d imagine a mermaid and a hairy pirate, sailing across the sea to find their happily ever after- the mermaid enchanted, of course- and finding it in their small town. He’d imagine a composer and her husband moving in, bringing half an orchestra with them; every night, Jasper would be lulled to sleep to the sounds of quiet violins and horns. He’d imagine an elderly couple, both women and florists, whose son came visiting every week with his wife and baby boy, the smell of pecan pie and coffee apparent every time they’d open their door. He’d imagine an astronaut with seven kids and a small army of dogs. He’d imagine a tired father, a successful mother, and two teenage girls moving in, keeping a tortoise in their backyard, slowly gnawing away at their grass. Jasper’d imagined a lot of things, but not the people opening the door. The woman, Jasper notices, has a friendly shaped face, but quite the stern look. Granted, her look softens visibly when she sees who her visitors are, but Jasper can’t help but feel intimidated. His mother softly pushes her hand agains his shoulder blade, encouraging him to take a small step forward, which he does.  
  
„Good afternoon, ma’am,” he says politely, „we’d like to give you this welcome gift.” He holds out both hands and arms, looking at the woman until she accepts the food-filled bowl.  
  
„We hope you’ll feel at home soon,” Jasper’s mother adds, reaching out to shake the hand of the new neighbor. „I’m Norah Jordan, from next-door. This is my son,” she puts her hand on Jasper’s shoulder, „Jasper.”

The woman moves to shake Norah’s hand, a small smile spreading across her face.  
  
„Hannah Green,” she introduces herself. „I’m sure we’ll feel at home soon.” She then crouches, getting at eye-level with Jasper.  
„How old are you, Jasper?” she ask, and her eyes seem friendly.  
  
„Seven,” Jasper answers proudly, sticking out seven fingers. Hannah smiles, brightly.  
  
„I have a son your age,” she tells both Jordans, „maybe you’ll get along.”

 

* * *

  

Weirdly enough it takes two weeks for the two boys to meet. In between occasional visits the Green family hasn’t quite settled in yet; it’s a messy, hectic time for all of them. Hannah Green knows really leaving things behind takes time, and as they bought the house in a flurry, Hannah hadn’t managed to get off of work, which meant that they could only drive to their new home on her free days. It takes some time, but after two weeks, the Greens are finally ready to settle.

 

Jasper is looking out their kitchen window, as he has done for the last two weeks now. Two weeks ago, they had met their new neighbor, who had told them she had a son his age. This meant that his chance of making a new friend was arguably bigger than before. This also meant that Jasper grew more impatient with every passing day, getting more restless every minute. He is filled with jitters, even as he’s playing outside with the other kids from the neighborhood. Fox looks at him curiously as she hangs upside down, while Harper merely shoots him one look before going back to chasing Bryan. They all notice the change in energy. They all know Jasper as a smiley, energetic kid, sometimes even restless, but he is friendly and laughs a lot, so they don’t mind. This time, however, it does not feel like it’s his usual energy rush seeping out; it feels more like anticipation. Jasper is flailing more than usual and can’t stop bouncing up and down.  
  
„Ugh,” he eventually lets out, whilst laying down on his back, limbs spread out wide, „I wonder when they are coming.”  
  
„Family?” Bryan guesses, and Jasper shakes his head.  
  
„New neighbors,” Jasper replies. „They were here two weeks ago, but not really since then, and there’s only three weeks of summer left, and I really want to meet them!”  
  
„So you’re getting new neighbors?” Fox swings off the climbing frame. „Cool!”  
  
„I’m also getting new neighbors,” Harper announces, „mum says they have a girl and a little boy, and a dog. They are moving in next week.”

 

* * *

  
The sun is hitting the blinds as Jasper sees a raven haired boy walk by. He’s carrying a box in his hands and makes his way to number 23, the house in which Miss Nancy used to live. Jasper bounces, makes his way out of the kitchen.

„Where are you going?” asks his father, rather surprised to see that his son has finally moved.  
  
„I think I saw them!” Jasper exclaims excitedly. „Can I go visit?”  
  
His father and mother share a look before settling on an answer.  
  
„We should offer to help,” Norah says thoughtfully, more to her husband than to her son. „You think you can handle a few boxes?” She looks at Jasper, who’s already putting on his shoes.  
  
„Yes mum!” He climbs to his feet so rapidly he almost trips, arms flailing. His face is split by his grin. Jasper’s parents take their time to get ready, not hurrying, but not being particularly slow either. By the time they are ready, their son is already waiting at the front door, giddy.

 

* * *

 

Monty almost drops the box he’s holding when he hears unfamiliar voices.

„This one goes upstairs?” It sounds like a boy’s voice, not a teen yet.

„Just take it inside,” instructs another voice, warm and smooth, like honey. It’s a woman’s voice he doesn’t recognize.  
  
„Okay,” chirps the boy before Monty sees him. He puts down the box next to the stairs, turns around only to be faced by a grinning boy. His hair is sticking out in every direction, not quite curly but definitely not straight either. The boy shakes with his head to get a strand of hair out of his eyes, stacks the box in his hands on top of the one Monty just put down, and then sticks out his hand.  
  
„Heya,” he says, eying Monty. Monty looks for his parents, but doesn’t see them anywhere. He would’ve asked them what to do, but that clearly isn’t an option now. The boy is not moving.  
  
„Hello,” says Monty eventually, evoking an enthusiastic reaction from the other boy.  
  
„I’m Jasper,” says the boy, sticking out his hand while his grin threatens to crack his face open. „I live next door. We’ve come to help you move!”  
Monty finds that this explains a lot.  
  
„My name’s Monty,” he says, shaking Jasper’s hand. „Thank you for helping.”  
  
„No problem!” Jasper bounces while Monty’s mother enters the house, followed by a strange man.  
  
„Let’s get back to work, lads,” says the man. Jasper turns around like a whirlwind.  
  
„Yes dad, sir yes sir!” And off he goes.  
  
„Hello,” says Monty politely, albeit a bit cautious. It is always hard to estimate how you have to behave when you do not know people. He fidgets with the sleeve of his hoodie.  
  
„Hi there,” the older man says, „you must be Monty. I’m Joseph Eric Jordan, Jasper’s father.”

Monty nods.  
„Nice to meet you, sir.”  
  
„No need to call me sir,” Joseph smiles, „let’s get your things inside, yeah?”  
  
Monty nods again, and off they go.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Jasper drops by. It is Monty’s mother who opens the door, draped in a green dress made of a soft-looking material. She looks like a deity.  
  
„Hey Jasper,” she says when she recognizes the small boy standing before her, face flustered and hair sticking in every direction. His hands are twitching nervously at the hem of his shirt, which has navy sleeves and a picture from some kind of tv-show on its white body.  
  
„Ma’am,” he says, all nerves. His eyes glance from her face to the space behind her head, into the house, an back to her face. „Ehm, Miss Green, I was wondering if Monty’s home?”  
  
„You can call me Hannah,” Monty’s mum says, „I’ll go get him. Just a moment.”  
  
„Yes ma’am,” Jasper flushes when he realizes that he’s just called Monty’s mother ‚ma’am’ again. There’s no taking it back, nor is there any time for recovery; Hannah Green has already disappeared inside. Jasper patiently waits outside, whistling a tune from the top of his mind. He gets so lost in it that he is surprised when a voice greets him.  
  
„Hello?” It comes out more of a question than Monty intends. The boy in front of him stops whistling, visibly surprised. His eyes are big, looking up from under his wispy brown fringe. It takes a moment for the boy to answer, but Monty doesn’t mind. He likes his shirt. There are Pokémon on it. Monty thinks they could be friends. Monty thinks he’d like it if they became friends.  
  
„Hey,” his grin is big. One of the first things Monty notices is that it’s the kind of grin that splits your face; it’s the expression he had seen the day before, worn by the same kid. The boy looks happy.  
  
„Do you want to come inside?” Monty asks, inviting his neighbor in. Jasper nods, taking a step forward. Boxes are stacked on top of one another in the hallway, some unpacked, some still sealed. The house looks nothing like when Miss Nancy still lived there. The floral patterns have disappeared, even though the warmth still surrounds the boys. Jasper’s eyes are wide as he walks into the kitchen. It’s almost as Miss Nancy left it; wooden cupboards, an old toaster, the weird framed sketch of disappearing stairs that used to terrify every neighborhood kid stopping by, it’s all still there. There’s a fruit bowl filled with fresh fruit on the countertop, a new fridge, a vase of flowers, all new. Even tho the Green family hasn’t been there for a full week, the house already feels lived in. It is not the same as when Miss Nancy lived there, in a way Jasper cannot describe, but it somehow feels _right_. Even the sketch feels less threatening now that there’s a vase filled with an enormous bouquet in front of it.

„My dad makes the best milkshakes,” says Monty, snapping Jasper out of his thoughts. Monty rummages through the refrigerator before he pulls out a pitcher. „I like his chocolate ones best.”   
  
Jasper blinks, slowly processing the new information, looking at the boy standing before him. There’s only one thought thrumming through his mind. _We could be friends._

„Yeah,” he says, then shakes his head, laughing at his own answer, „I like chocolate. I like strawberry as well, and banana, and-„  
  
„-every possible flavor?” Monty finishes, questioningly.  
  
„Well, I had this pistachio one once,” Jasper says, „that one I didn’t like.”  
  
„You’ll love this one,” Monty says, pouring Jasper a glass of the orange flavored milkshake. He puts in a straw, the one that is his and his favorite: blue and see-through, with a crazy twist in it. It is a token, a signal out in the open. He hopes that Jasper notices.  
Jasper notices.


	2. Cake & Lemonade (Seven Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very unbeta'd, let me know if there are any mistakes!  
> this fic is going slower than I planned, as in, them being seven years old is taking longer than I thought? I guess it's fine, tho. Still a bit flat probably, it's all cutesy and fluffy still :)

Jasper takes Monty’s hand.  
  
„We’re going exploring,” he announces, pulling Monty to his feet.

„Exploring?” asks Monty, looking at the half empty box on the floor. His eyebrows are knitted in confusion.  
  
„Yeah, exploring!” Jasper says. „Just like, you know, that one person-„ Jasper grunts in frustration when he can’t think of the right name.  
  
„Dora?” Monty suggests. Jasper lets out a short bark of a laugh.

„Columbus!” he then yells, remembering the name.   
  
„You want to go to the sea?”  
  
„Not yet,” Jasper says, tugging Monty along as he moves them out of Monty’s room. „We first need to explore the streets. Get to know all its secrets.” He beams at the slightly taller boy, then whispers: „It’s part of the deal when you live in this street.”  
  
„Do you know all its secrets?” asks Monty, and Jasper shakes his head.  
  
„Mum won’t let me get too far alone. But now I got you,” he says, tho he doesn’t sound too certain of himself. He looks Monty in the eyes, slightly tilting his head. „Right?”

They are standing in the hallway. Monty blinks, letting his thoughts slide to the question.   
  
„Yeah,” he hears himself answer, „you got me now. That’s what friends are for, right?”  
  
He hopes that he isn’t taking it too far, that he isn’t being to hasty. His heart stutters in anticipation, because he could have a _friend_.

Monty really hopes Jasper wants to be his friend. 

„Yeah,” Jasper says, softly, not as loud as he normally talks. _Friends._ The word echoes through his head. _Friends._ He feels giddy with joy. His features soften as a smile starts to creep in. „Let’s go!”

  

Monty tells his mum and dad that he and Jasper are going outside, so that they won’t worry. Jasper balances on the soles of his feet, waiting outside impatiently. It seems to take ages for his new friend to finally come after him. When Monty steps outside, the sunlight hits his eyes and he has to blink a few times.  
„Wicked,” mumbles Jasper, watching as Monty’s eyes change color for a second. „That’s so cool!”

Monty blinks, confused.  
„Which way do you want to go?” Jasper asks Monty. Monty looks around, really soaking up the neighborhood for the first time. It’s different from where he used to live, in the middle of the city. There are more trees, there’s more space. There’s not a lot of noise, except for the sound of a dog barking and the occasional bell ringing. There’s a lot of green surrounding them; grass, flowers, trees. The sky is clear and blue, he can actually hear birds singing. It is nice walking around without having to look out to get hit by something, or to trip over another. Monty decides that he likes it. He raises his hand and points to the right, where a blue colored house rests beside their house, which has white wainscoting and a gray roof. Jasper nods, waves when they pass his house. 

„Let’s go in here,” he says, turning left. Jasper knows that there’s supposed to be a park just two blocks away. He thinks that it can’t be that long of a walk, so he pretends to know where he’s going.   
  
„Nice!” he says when they arrive, probably a bit too victorious. He looks around, sees a couple picnicking. Someone’s flying a kite in the distance, and there’s laughter everywhere. It probably has to do something with the weather that’s nice, a bright shining sun and not a cloud in the sky. There’s this huge dog running towards them, wagging its tail. The dog sniffs Monty a few times before barking happily. Then he jumps up against Monty, causing the other boy to fall.  
  
„Hey!” Jasper yelps, while the dog is licking Monty’s face. Monty tries to push the dog away, giggling. Eventually the dog decides to move on to it’s next victim, Jasper. The large golden retriever runs around him, barking, while Monty gets up, wiping the drool from his face.  
  
„Gross,” he mumbles, still laughing.  
  
„No, nonono!” he hears a girl groan. „Wells, control your dog!”  
  
„Diana! Here girl! Come on!” A boy whistles. The dog turns around, barking happily.  
  
„Oh no,” the blonde girl sends Monty, who is still wiping his face, a pitying look. „Are you okay?”  
  
„I’m fine,” Monty smiles, while Jasper swallows.  
  
„Yeah,” he says, although he sounds shaken. He looks from the dog to the boy to the girl.  
  
„I’m so sorry,” the girl says, looking apologetic. „Diana’s really nice, but she can get a bit excited when she sees new people.”  
  
„She’s not the only one,” says the dark skinned boy, „I’m sorry for my dog.”  
  
„You should be,” says Jasper, but then he’s smiling.  
  
„It’s a pretty dog,” Monty says, „she didn’t bite, so it’s okay.”  
  
„I’m Wells, by the way,” the boy says, sticking out one hand. Jasper and Monty both shake his hand.  
  
„Oh, and I am Clarke,” the girl waves after Monty and Jasper have introduced themselves. „Are you new here?”

Monty answers ‚yes’ the same time Jasper says ‚no’. Clarke chuckles.   
  
„It’s been nice seeing you,” she says. She then pokes her elbow at Wells. „Hey Wells, where is Diana?”  
  
„Oh no,” Wells groans, „not again! Looks like we gotta go. We’ll see you around.”  
  
„Bye,” says Jasper, waving enthusiastically while Wells is already running away, yelling for his dog.  
  
„Nice meeting you,” Clarke says, before turning around. „Goodbye!”

 

* * *

  
„Hey Monty,” Jasper looks at the boy standing beside him. „Bet you I can climb that tree faster than you can!”

„Bet you can’t,” says Monty, observing the tree with all its branches.  
  
„I’m calling your bluff,” says Jasper, and before Monty can respond, he’s already climbing the tree. Monty just stands there in the middle of the park, astonished. Jasper wobbles his way up to the top, lets his feet dangle when he’s reached one of the highest branches. It’s a long way down, he notices, and his stomach turns. He’s not afraid of falling, really. He’s more afraid of hurting himself, or landing on top of other people. It’s easy to see how amazed Monty looks, even from this height; Jasper laughs.  
  
„Called it!” he yells towards the asian boy. „Are you coming?”  
  
Hesitantly, Monty grabs hold of one of the branches. He pulls himself up, carefully placing one foot after the other. Once he gets a hold of it, it’s actually quite easy. He makes his way up, and then sits down next to Jasper.  
  
„You were saying?” asks Monty, smirking as Jasper’s gaping at him, open-mouthed.

 

* * *

  
„Harper!” Jasper comes running towards the girl. „Harper!” It’s a few days later and the Green family is out of town, visiting one of their aunts. It’s the perfect day to do something Jasper’s been waiting for all week. He crosses the street towards the playground, where he knows he’ll find the girl. „Harper, you have new neighbors, too, right?” 

„Yes!” Harper smiles. „They’re really nice.”   
  
„We should do something,” Jasper says, eyes gleaming. He’s thought it through, and they need to do this. It will be amazing. More than amazing even, awesome. It will be totally _awesome_.  
  
„Like?” Harper looks at him curiously.  
  
„A scavenger hunt! Oh, or a- a-„  
  
„A tour!” Harper exclaims. „Like they do on television! We could show them all the cool places.”  
  
„Yeah!” Jasper fist pumps. „And it has to be a surprise, so we both take them someplace and then we can all meet!” He looks at Harper. „If you want to?”  
  
„We need to make a list,” Harper says after thinking about it for a while. „And maybe your mum can help out. She makes the nicest drawings.”  
  
„Should we make them a map?” Jasper’s eyes light up.  
  
„Yes! We could give them afterwards, so they’ll never get lost,” Harper’s enthusiastic. „Let’s go and ask your mum.”

 

The duo sets out for the Jordan’s house, looking carefully before crossing the street. They come in the back, sliding the glass door aside. Harper’s been here one time before, when Bryan fell and his knee was bleeding. She’d known the Jordans would help them, because according to her parents, that’s just the kind of people they were. Norah Jordan was most famous for her cakes, which were always a hit at the neighborhood’s barbecues. She could bake pies, too, anything really, even though pies were more Harper’s mothers specialty. Norah mostly stuck to cakes to keep peace. Harper didn’t think it’d mattered; she loved pie. If two people were bringing pie, it only meant that there’d be more pie, something she very much liked.  
  
„Hello miss Jordan,” Harper greets the woman swaying to invisible music.  
  
„Hello Harper, dear,” she answers whilst turning around. Much like Jasper, she pretty much always has a smile spread across her face. She’s dazzling, really, a beauty from times past. She reminds Harper of the women on the movie posters decorating her mother’s office: ladies with small smiles and wide eyes, smooth skin and neatly kept hair. Women like Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. Sophisticated. Friendly. Stunning and undeniably beautiful. Harper wishes that one day her hair will fall around her face the way Norah Jordan’s does; perfect, wavy, and an unbelievably rich brown color. She looks at Jasper for a moment, silently communicating who will pose their question. It’s a small battle, one which Jasper eventually looses. Harper smiles victoriously.  
  
„Miss Jordan,” she starts, shifting her weight slightly, „would you please help us?”  
  
„With what, dear?” Norah asks.  
  
„We want to make this tour, and then add a map, and show the neighbors all the cool places, and then give the map-„  
  
„We want to surprise them,” Harper concludes. Jasper looks at her, mockingly sour. Harper sticks out her tongue. „Eli and Zoe have just moved here.”  
  
„And you know Monty,” says Jasper, excitedly. Harper gives him a surprised look.  
  
„You’ve met him,” she concludes. Jasper grins proudly.  
  
„He’s my _friend_ ,” he says, and it still makes him feel proud. He has a friend, an actual friend, officially. Maybe school won’t be so bad this year; sure there are kids he knows, but they never really became anything closer than buddies on the playground. Bryan and Fox were cool, but they weren’t in the same class. Harper hadn’t been either, by some unlucky turn of events. It got kinda lonely sometimes, but Jasper always managed, being the merry boy he was. If things aren’t fun, you got to make them fun. Or at least, that’s what his father says.

„Well Monroe’s my friend too,” Harper says, beaming, even though they haven’t discussed it yet. Harper knows they will be. „And we want to surprise our _friends_.” She grins.

„That’s a very nice idea,” says Norah, „how can I help?”  
  
„We need paper and sharpies,” says Jasper.  
  
„And knowledge,” adds Harper. Norah chuckles.  
  
„Go sit around the table, I’ll be there in a few. Do you want some lemonade?”  
  
„Yes please miss,” Harper says as Jasper nods. „That’d be nice.”

 

* * *

 

„Where are we going?”

„Just wait and see.”  
  
„I can’t see anything, I’m blindfolded,” Monty retorts. He hears Jasper snicker before untying the blindfold. Monty has to blink a few times before his eyes have adjusted, the sunlight hitting his face. Near them is a large climbing frame, complete with monkey bars and a slide. In front of them is a picnic, loaded with cake and lemonade. There’s a lot of kids surrounding it, yelling ‚welcome to the neighborhood!’. Monty counts the people surrounding the picnic.

He notices a girl standing next to him, a girl he’s never seen before. The one accompanying her he has seen before, but he doesn’t think they’ve met yet. When the girl notices being watched, she looks at him. She has two french braids and a piercing look, which does make Monty feel a bit uncomfortable. He blushes at the attention. 

„Tada!” Jasper jumps into his vision.„We baked you guys a cake! And this is only the start,” Jasper whispers the last part, like it’s top secret information. He then tugs at Monty’s sleeve.   
  
„I’ll introduce you to everyone,” he offers, guiding Monty towards the wooden picnic. The two girls follow them. The new girl speaks up first, firm and unafraid.  
  
„I’m Zoe Monroe,” she says, offering the group a small smile. „I live across the street from Harper.” The girl who Monty vaguely recognized nods.  
  
„Nice to meet you, Zoe,” a smaller boy smiles. „I’m Bryan.”  
  
„Fox,” says an equally small girl with hair the color of honey, „like the animal.”  
  
„That’s a really cool name. Foxes are my favorite,” Monroe says, earning a smile from Fox.

„I’m Clarke,” offers a blonde girl, who doesn’t seem to fit in that much, „this is Wells,” she points to the boy standing beside her, who holds up a hand and gives a small wave.  
  
„Monty,” Monty tells the group. „I live next to Jasper.”

„It’s true,” Jasper tells them. He then looks at Harper, who folds out a map. She starts explaining and points to the map a few times, locating them or special places. Jasper leans to Monty while Harper keeps talking on.   
  
„Cool huh?” he asks, whispering. „We made it all for you.”  
  
Monty nods, while silently repeating the words in his head. He feels his heart skip a beat, undeniable happiness radiating from his skin.

_They made it all for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it :)


	3. Anywhere (Seven-ish Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies, another chapter! It contains a kinda weird timelapse between the ages seven and nine, just because I plan on writing about them being ten in the next chapter and I feel like what I was writing didn't really feel right for age seven. Also, the chapters are gradually becoming longer haha.  
> I'm currently very tired and this is completely unbeta'd, so if there are any mistakes, I'd like to hear it. I hope you enjoy reading this, have fun!

There isn’t really a time that they aren’t Monty-and-Jasper, or Jasper-and-Monty. They meet, and that’s it, there’s no separating the two. After two weeks, what feels like a never-ending summer is finally coming to an end. For Jasper it feels more like a grinding halt, the realization that school is coming up hitting him hard. He gets anxious, fidgety. He’s never really fitted in before, not like the others did, not the way he did with Monty. Monty thought his Pokémon shirts were cool, and that it was normal for boys to like purple, and he laughed at his jokes even if they weren’t funny. Jasper did the same, too. Jasper thinks Monty’s adoration for their white-haired cat Newton is amazing, because Newton has been around all his life, and even tho his cat didn’t particularly like him, he’d still grown attached to the animal. Jasper likes the way Monty’s eyes light up every time he talks about something that fascinates him, and he thinks he is funny too. If Jasper ever ran out of ideas, Monty could think of something new. Jasper’s pretty sure Monty’s smart.  
He isn’t so sure about himself.  
  
„Is something wrong?” Monty asks. He’s sitting in the windowsill at Jasper’s bedroom, looking at Jasper frantically moving around, jittery.  
  
„Hm?” asks Jasper, as if he hadn’t heard what Monty had said. Maybe he hadn’t. He places the case of colored pencils down, which he just picked up. He didn’t have a plan, really, had just started moving things around. In the past fifteen minutes the whole lay-out of his desk must’ve completely changed about three times. Monty gets up, slowly developing a plan in his head. Maybe he should ask Jasper again if something’s wrong, or maybe he should just get Jasper to get his mind of whatever is bothering him. Monty walks up to Jasper, happy with the plan he has.  
  
„We,” he starts, „are going to seek the secrets of the streets.”  
  
„What?” Jasper stills, stunned, while Monty grins.  
  
„It’s part of the deal,” Monty quotes his friend, „when you live here you got to know the secrets of the streets. I don’t think we’ve discovered them all quite yet.”  
  
„O-okay,” stutters Jasper, suddenly purposefully moving things around. He gets his navy blue backpack, packs an extra sweater, some paper and some pencils, and a notepad just in case. Monty watches his friend pack, patiently waits before moving again.

 

„Where do you want to go?” Monty asks when they’re standing outside. Jasper’s continually shifting his weight from one leg to the other whilst looking around. He finds it strange that he’s lived there for such a long time. This neighborhood’s practically all he’s ever known. He used to dream about moving to the city, or to the forest. He’s always loved the idea of the beach, but it’s quite the ride to the coast. Or, it used to be. Jasper can’t remember the last time he’s visited the beach. His mind rakes across all these places, he thinks of every spot he knows, but he can’t decide. He doesn’t care, really. He just wants to go wherever, as long as he’s with Monty. As long as he’s not _alone_.  
  
„Anywhere,” Jasper eventually says, because it’s the truth. He’d go anywhere with Monty, even if it was prison. He does hope it never comes to that, though.

Jasper doesn’t want to feel anxious about school. Not now, not anytime. He has to trust that it’s going to be okay.  
  
„Okay,” Monty says, realizing that somehow, in some way, Jasper means it. He doesn’t particularly care about their destination, he just wants to go _somewhere_. Jasper trusts that he will get him _anywhere_. It’s a new feeling for him, the realization that he’s trusted. And he realizes he trusts Jasper too, even though they’ve only known each other for a few weeks. It was just how it had to be. „Let’s get you anywhere.”  
  
Monty takes Jasper to all his favorite spots. They hang out on the old swing set for a while, just breathing in the salty summer air, swaying back and forth. After that, they go to the ice cream truck parked next to the playground, and they choose each others ice creams. Monty gets a cone with two scoops of chocolate ice cream, Jasper gets one with stracciatella and strawberry. While they are eating their ice cream, Monty takes Jasper’s hand and pulls him along while he runs towards a spot he’s discovered a few days ago, when he went outside after he got home from a family visit. They end up in between backyards, between the trees past the horizon. It is one of the perks of living in the outer suburbs. It feels like the twilight zone, his own twilight zone. Monty likes that idea.

There’s a group of trees near their backyard fence, which Monty always sees from his bedroom window, and knows Jasper can see too. He thinks it’s odd that Jasper never discovered the area, but knows you would have to follow a hidden path to actually get there. At first sight it seems like there’s nothing special behind their picket fences, nothing more but some grass and a few trees, and behind that fences and hedges from the other suburban homes. Monty, however, has found the perfect spot, a _hideaway_. 

„Come on,” he says, urging Jasper, whose ice-cream is now dripping down his hands. Jasper almost trips over his own feet, then coughs while he almost chokes trying to set the record for the fastest ice-cream eating ever recorded. Monty pulls him along, fingers intertwined. 

„Welcome to anywhere,” Monty says, a little out of breath and grinning. He sits down next to the tallest tree, legs folded beneath him. Jasper sits down beside him, panting too, back resting against the tree. He drops his backpack next to his legs. 

„Wow,” Jasper gasps. The sun is setting, littering spots of sunlight across the ground. He sticks out his hand, feels the warmth of the rays tracing over his skin. Fascinated he looks at the little spots.  
  
„Nerd,” Monty softly huffs under his breath, looking at his friend, who is completely captured by the sunlight. Jasper looks up, eyes squeezing together.  
  
„What did you say?” he asks, trying to look threatening.  
He doesn’t.  
  
„Nerd,” Monty says, stupidly brave and loud.  
  
„I’ll show you who the nerd is!” Jasper says, laughing. He pokes Monty his side, between his ribs and hips. Monty lets out something between a giggle and a hiccup, almost falls over trying to fence Jasper off. As soon as Jasper notices that Monty is a very ticklish boy, he starts a ferocious attack that ends with both boys lying on their backs, giggly with aching stomachs.  
  
„Nerd,” Monty hiccups, receiving a gentle elbow to his side.  
  
„ ‚m not convinced,” Jasper declares, staring up at the branches above them. Monty giggles.

„I am,” Monty says, head turning to face Jasper. Jasper stretches his hands behind his head and shakes it. He turns his head, looking Monty in the eye. He smiles, thankful.

„I like anywhere.”  


* * *

  
School turns out not to be as bad as Jasper feared it would be. He doesn’t particularly like school, but it is okay. It’s not that special, anyway. The odds seem to be in his favor this year. Monty doesn’t really dislike school, but he doesn’t love it either. It’s just another way to spend his time. It puts some distance between him and Jasper tho, except it really doesn’t. They sit together in class, most of the time. They ride the bus home, together with Bryan, Fox, Harper and Monroe. Sometimes Zoe’s older brother, Eli, will tag along, and they will go to the playground before getting any work done. Their parents both require them to finish their homework before they go outside. This often means that Jasper does his homework, hastily and sloppily, and rings the Green’s bell before Monty can finish his. He then loiters around, examining every new inch of Monty’s room, while Monty studies. Jasper’s restless. Jasper’s excited. Jasper’s distractingly more fun to spend time with than his homework.

  
„You’ve got a new lamp,” Jasper notices, and Monty nods distractedly while bending over his last exercise. Jasper proceeds to take a closer look at the lamp, which Monty has gotten as a belated birthday present. His birthday had been on the last day of summer, a bittersweet but grande celebration, crowned with the orange cake Jasper and Norah Jordan had made him. It had been a nice, exciting day, but also filled with nerves. The next day he would go to a new school, he’d have to start all over. Even if he had Jasper, there still would be a chance he’d be bullied. There was something about that uncertainty that had made him uncomfortable.  
  
„I do,” Monty confirmed, closing his notebook. When he turned around Jasper was still looking at the object. „You like it?”  
  
„It’s awesome!” Jasper exclaims, looking at Monty. He walks across the room and sits down on Monty’s bed, where he soon is joined by Monty himself. „I like the details. It’s so nice.”  
  
„It’s based on a real rocket,” Monty says, „I can show you!”

He grabs the book lying on his nightstand, the one he got at the library. It’s filled with spaceships and astronauts, little facts and rocket science. He adores it.

It takes him a few moments before he finds the right page. 

„Look,” he says, pointing at the picture, „it’s got the same shape and all.” 

„This is so cool,” Jasper says, and his eyes light up in a way Monty has never seen before. „May I- ?” Jasper points at the book, vaguely gesturing towards himself. When Monty nods he shifts, crossing his legs beneath him. He looks through the book with a focus Monty hasn’t seen on him before. Monty starts looking at his navy blue walls, at the single poster of Tintin on the moon decorating it. He tilts his head, shifting a little, when suddenly an idea hits him.  
  
„Jasper,” he says, „wouldn’t it be cool to explore the universe?”  
  
Jasper looks at him, confused.  
  
„Yeah,” he then answers, sitting up straight. „That would be smawesome?”  
  
„That’s not even a word,” Monty giggles.  
  
„It so is,” Jasper retorts, „it’s a contraction of super, mega and awesome. To show the triple awesomeness.”  
  
„To show triple the nerd, you mean.” Monty pokes Jasper, who huffs.  
  
„Whatever. You’re the one wanting to explore the universe.”  
  
„And you’re the one saying that it’d be _smawesome_.” Monty giggles when Jasper starts tickling him. „That’s no way to win an argument!” he protests. At that, Jasper laughs out loud.  
  
„It wasn’t an argument,” Jasper says, continuing to tickle him.  
  
„So you just like to see me suffer?” Monty asks in between breaths and laughs.  
  
„Yes,” says Jasper, and his smile is devilish.  
  


* * *

   
Sometimes, Monty feels like he lives in an alternate universe. In between school and dinner, books and homework, hours spend on the playground, he looses himself with Jasper, whispering the secrets of the streets. They roam the neighborhood, never failing to discover yet another spot which they hadn’t noticed or seen before. By the time they’re nine, they have the whole neighborhood mapped out. They manage to sneak in between buildings, fences, doors, and trees, find themselves in places they shouldn’t be. Wrong place, right time. Those moments, finding their anywhere, feel ephemeral yet never-ending. They keep coming back to the group of trees behind their fences, Monty’s little twilight zone. _Their_ twilight zone.  
  


* * *

   
It is spring when Monty comes home to find his ceiling decorated with stars. It’s saturday, and he’s been out with his dad for the day, watching a baseball game. They had driven out of the suburbs to the stadion, had arrived in time. His father has bought him cracker jacks, which they had shared. It had been a nice day to be out, weather friendly and easy, a cool breeze passing on the stands. Their hometeam had won, much to the fans their relieve. It had been a close call, and a ninth inning had to be played. Monty has had a good day. He arrives home, still thriving, filled with the thrill of the close call and the victory for their hometeam. He can’t wait to tell all about it- there had been some amazing moments, and their pitcher had been great- but when he comes home, his mother instructs him to go upstairs. She says it in such way that doesn’t worry Monty, but makes him curious. He wouldn’t know why to go upstairs, or why to be requested to go upstairs. It’s nowhere near Christmas nor his birthday, so he rationally feels like he shouldn’t be expecting a surprise to be waiting upstairs. Maybe it’s because the school year is coming to an end, and he’s doing quite well- rather excellent, actually. Monty doesn’t know. He gets more curious with every step he takes. The staircase is creaking beneath his feet, groaning under his weight. Monty thinks about how he’s still taller than Jasper, even though Jasper’s older by a few months. Jasper’s birthday is coming up soon.  
Monty steps into his room and is simply amazed. The blinds are closed, and above him a path of stars leads the way to his bed. He notices a piece of paper sitting on his bedside table. On it are different constellations, names under each one. He recognizes the handwriting. Carefully he folds the paper, putting it in his bedside drawer along his most precious possessions. He then runs down the stairs, hugging both his parents.  
  
„It’s awesome!” he tells his mother, still holding her tight. She chuckles.  
  
„Well, it wasn’t entirely my own idea,” she admits. „I had some help.”  
  
Monty then recognizes a shadow standing in their kitchen. He turns on his heels, like lightning, his heart hitching in his chest. He feels his cheeks heat. Of course it had been Jasper’s idea. He walks up to his friend, his _best_ friend, hopefully. To Monty, Jasper is. Monty can’t think of a soul on this planet that knows him better than Jasper does, except for maybe his own parents. He hugs him, holds him close. Jasper closes his arms around Monty’s torso, hugging him tight.  
  
„It’s amazing,” Monty sighs, not letting go.  
  
„Would you say… _smawesome_?” Jasper asks, causing Monty to giggle. It is a delightfully clear sound, one which could never tire Jasper.  
  
„Thank you,” Monty whispers in his ear, before letting go. A genuine smile crosses his face, and Jasper notices how soft his look is. He feels his breath hitch, doesn't know why. Suddenly, he wonders if he’s Monty’s best friend. He knows he _wants_ to be, starts to long for it. He realizes that, without a doubt, Monty is _his_ best friend. If Monty wants to be, anyway. He would want Monty to want it, because there’s not a soul in this universe that knows him better, except for maybe his parents. He gives Monty a small smile before speaking up again.  
  
„Explore the universe,” Jasper says, „it starts in your room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! If you have any thoughts, or feedback, I'd love to hear it :)


	4. Balloons & Cotton Candy (Ten Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, woohoo! This is still completely unbeta'd, so if there are any mistakes I'd love to hear it. I feel like this might not be at the same level of the last chapter, but I hope you enjoy it non the less.  
> This chapter, Jasper is turning eleven, which is when Monty's still ten.  
> I at least now have an idea where the story is heading, so I guess that's something to be happy about?  
> Have fun reading!

„When I grow up, I want to be Bill Nye.” Jasper states, draped across the couch.  
  
„Not just taller than me?” Monty asks, smirking. He’s sitting right next to Jasper.  
  
„Bill Nye is taller than you!” argues Jasper, turning towards Monty.  
  
„Yeah, for now.”  
  
„Whatever. Bill knows a lot of science. It’s cool.”

„Maybe that’s why they call him Bill Nye the science guy,” says Monty, sticking out his tongue when Jasper narrows his eyes. „Nerd.”  
  
Jasper scoffs and Monty laughs. He gives Monty a push, causing the other to almost fall over. Monty gives Jasper a little shove, laughing.  
  
„You’re still a nerd,” he announces, turning back to the tv, where Bill Nye is explaining magnetism. It’s actually pretty interesting, Monty thinks. Jasper huffs.  
  
„Still better than a dweeb,” he retorts with a small smile. Monty turns back towards Jasper.  
  
„Did you just call me a dweeb?” He attempts to look shocked, but starts smiling when he sees Jasper’s (slightly too) proud face.  
  
„I don’t know,” Jasper shrugs while keeping a long face, „did you just call me nerd?”  
  
„Did it really take you two years to come up with that response?” laughs Monty. Jasper shakes his head, a smile tugging at his lips.  
  
„I was just waiting for the right moment to use it.”  
  
„Yeah, sure,” Monty chuckles, „ _nerd_.”  
  
„Dweeb,” Jasper retorts softly, and they return to watching television.

 

* * *

 

Monty likes Jasper’s home. Or rather: the Jordan’s family home. It’s lovely, he thinks. It’s nothing like his parent’s home, with their now white walls and grey couch with yellow cushions, the black rectangle that is their coffee table, so modern it sometimes looks sterile. He’s used to it, but doesn’t particularly like it. What he likes are the ugly flowery curtains in front of their kitchen window, because no one cared to replace them, the oddity in all the clarity.   
The Jordan’s home is all that: weird flower curtains, a big sofa you can disappear in, wooden dining tables with six cushioned chairs surrounding it. Warm. Home-y. A bit like his grandmothers house, now that he thinks about it. Not rustic, but well lived in. Walking into the Jordan’s residence feels like putting on your favorite pair of shoes, going outside when the weather’s just right, like getting a good grade back on a test you thought you screwed up. Good. It felt good, like coming home. Monty soon figured it probably had something to do with the people that lived there; Norah, Joseph, Jasper. They were all uncommonly kind, chipper, nice. It was such a contrast to their previous neighbors, who had woken them up at midnight with their yelling, who set off alarms at four in the morning, who could keep the whole apartment building awake by just existing. They had been bad, and part of the reason the Greens had finally moved. It had puzzled Monty. It felt like there was a life between him and the city, his old home.  
Monty likes the absence of blaring car horns and smoke curling out of exhaust pipes. He likes the playground and the kids visiting it, and the park too. He likes the fact that he can cycle now, even if Jasper had been the one who had to teach him, and not his mum or dad. The bike in their garage was an old one, a kobalt blue, previously owned by Jasper. As soon as Jasper had discovered Monty didn’t know how to ride a bike, he had taken him to the Jordan’s garage, pulled out two bikes and stated to his parents that he would ‚teach monty how to ride a bike, even if the world was ending’. He had been pretty hell-bent on teaching Monty how to ride a bike. It had been clumsy at first, as Jasper himself wasn’t the best cyclist in the world, but Monty had soon picked it up.  
Monty likes this street and its secrets. But most of all, he likes the people living in it.

 

* * *

 

As soon as Monty steps inside, he is greeted by the smell of cake and tea. It’s no surprise to see Norah Jordan standing in the kitchen, pouring tea. Joseph is standing next to her in the kitchen, hand outstretched, mug clasped between his fingers. From what Monty can make of it, they’re chitchatting, talking about work and projects and the neighborhood.  
  
„Hello dear,” Norah says as soon as she notices Monty. She looks a little surprised. „Jasper’s at Monroe’s with Bryan and Harper.”  
  
„I know,” Monty says, shuffling on his feet. „I, ehm, was wondering if you could help me with Jasper’s birthday present.”  
  
„What do you need, kid?” asks Joseph, smiling above his cup of tea.  
  
„Well - ehm- you- you see the trees behind the fence?” asks Monty, before hastily adding, „madam, sir.” Both Jasper’s parents nod.  
  
„I, ehm, wanted to make a swing set,” Monty stutters. He can feel his cheeks heat up. „For his birthday. Well, I’m gonna help my dad, and my mother-„  
  
„Ah, Dave and Hannah,” Joseph smiles. Monty blinks a few times in confusion before nodding.  
  
„-Yes, they said- they said it’s okay, but I had to ask your permission.”  
  
He stands there, waiting, heart beating in his chest. He isn’t sure if it’s a good idea to build a swing set, but Jasper never shuts up about wanting to have one- and his dad said he could find a tire, and his parents had given their permission, and it would be _awesome_.

Norah looks at her husband for a moment, then sets down her tea and clasps her hands together.  
„Oh Monty, that’s a _wonderful_ idea!” she smiles, and Monty lights up.  
  
„I will have to talk to your parents about it,” Joseph stresses, „think you can set up a date?”  
  
„Sure!” Monty beams. „I’ll be back in a few.”

He takes off, leaving Jasper’s parents smiling.  
  
„He’s a good kid,” Norah says, looking at her husband.  
  
„He sure is,” Joseph says, „makes Jasper happy too. Good influence.”  
  
„He’ll be around,” Norah smiles, looking back at the spot where Monty had disappeared.

 

* * *

  

The sun is shining brightly when Jasper wakes up a certain saturday during spring. He immediately bounces, realizing which day it is. There’s a knocking on the door, and Jasper sits up.  
  
„Yeah?” he calls innocently, as if he doesn’t know who are behind his bedroom door. The door creaks, opens, revealing his parents.  
  
„Happy birthday to you,” his parents start to sing, walking in with a tray of breakfast. On it there’s a croissant, a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and even a glazed donut with sprinkles -Jasper’s favorite. When the embarrassing birthday song is over his parents are sitting on the edge of his bed.  
  
„Happy birthday son,” Joseph says, placing the tray in his lap. Norah presses a kiss against his forehead. Jasper grins, feeling giddy.  
  
„Thanks mum, thanks dad,” he beams. While he eats his birthday breakfast, his parents start to talk.  
  
„We need you dressed downstairs in half an hour, okay?” asks his dad. Jasper nods while his heart jumps. Usually, orders like this mean surprises awaiting him. His father grins and ruffles his hair. „Good.”

Jasper finishes his breakfast and then tries to decide what to wear, because what he picked out yesterday suddenly doesn’t seem right. He turns half his closet upside down, before settling on a plain navy shirt and the pair of jeans with the least holes in it. They fit quite nicely, if he says so himself. He combs his hair, albeit a bit clumsily. He considers putting wax in his hair, but knows it’s no use. It’ll do what it wants anyway, and today it’s actually not that messy. He looks good.   
Contently he goes downstairs, taking the tray and platter with him. When he walks into their living room he sees all the decorations: colorful garlands, balloons, happy birthday spelled out in letters. He smiles, and his smile is almost blinding. It really is his birthday. He feels festive.  
  
„Good morning love,” Norah says. Jasper runs towards his mum and hugs her tightly. He hears his father chuckle and runs to hug him too.  
  
„Good morning indeed!” Jasper says. „You know which day it is?”  
  
„Hm, let me think,” his father says thoughtfully, rubbing his chin between two fingers, plucking an imaginary beard. „No, no idea.” He looks questioningly at Jasper. „You tell me buddy.”  
  
„It’s my birthday silly!” Jasper starts laughing as his father picks him up, turning him upside down.  
  
„Yeah, that’s right! I suddenly remember.” Joseph laughs while he tickles his son with one hand. Jasper squirms, laughing, breaths becoming short.  
  
„Stop! Please,” he hiccups before deciding to take a different route. „By the power of birthdays, I demand you let me go!”  
  
„Go where?” his dad asks.  
  
„Oh, I know just the place,” his mother chimes in. Her eyes gleam mischievously. She shares a short moment with her husband before continuing. „But you will have to put him down.”  
  
„Okay okay, ” Joseph surrenders with a smile on his face. Jasper’s face is red from laughing and hanging upside down. He looks around the room, trying to discover any presents hidden, but he doesn’t see anything.

The doorbell rings.  
„Go and get it, birthday boy,” his father calls after Jasper, as Jasper’s already rushing to get the door. He closes his eyes for a moment before opening the door.  
‚You’re the birthday boy,’ he tells himself, ‚no scary people will show up today.’ 

He takes a gulp of air and opens the door.  
  
„Monty!” His voice sounds amazed, as if he is fazed to see his friend. He is. It only takes him a few seconds to regain his posture, and then he hugs Monty tight, arms squeezing around his back. The hug is quick but full of warmth, full of energy.  
  
„Happy birthday,” Monty hands Jasper a red balloon, little bag of sand at the end of the ribbon.  
  
„Thank you!” Jasper looks at the balloon, gleaming in the sunlight. Monty _remembered_. Monty actually remembered his birthday was today. He is happy to have such great a friend as Monty.  
  
„Mum, dad, Monty’s here!” He calls. Monty steps inside, closes the door after Jasper rushes into the living room.  
  
„Look, I got my own birthday balloon!” Jasper waves with the ribbon in his hands. The balloon moves a bit, falling, then rising, with each tug Jasper gives. „How cool is that!”  
  
Norah smiles while Joseph murmurs something under his breath.

„It’s filled with helium,” Monty informs Jasper.  
  
„Oh Helium! He, atomic number 2,” Jasper beams. „That’s why there’s a bag of sand, isn’t it?” Monty nods.  
  
„Let’s put down the balloon,” his father suggests.  
  
„Why?” Jasper asks, eyes wide. „I like it!” Joseph groans at the puppy-eyes his son is making at him.  
  
„Because we have a surprise for you!” his wife helps him out. „Now if you close your eyes…”  
  
Jasper shares a look with Monty, silently communicating ‚what’s happening?’. Monty shrugs before Jasper closes his eyes obediently. He hears shuffling, and Monty sees the tickets before he’s supposed to. He tries to keep quiet, but can’t help but let out a sound of surprise. It comes out choked, as he tries to suppress it, causing Jasper to move his head towards the sound.  
  
„Monty?” he asks worriedly, concerned by the strangled noise his friend just made. „Are you allright?”  
  
Monty nods before realizing Jasper can’t see him.  
  
„Yeah,” he says, and he looks apologetically to Jasper’s parents, who simply smile at him, reassuring it’s alright.  
  
„Alright son,” Joseph says, „you may open your eyes again.”  
  
Jasper blinks a few times, dazed, he gives Monty a quick glance, making sure he is okay, before looking around him, searching. His eyebrows are knitted in confusion before he sees the tickets in his mother’s hands.  
  
„No way!” he says, all excitement.  
  
„Yes way!” his father announces. Even he can’t hide his excitement.  
  
„We’re going to a themepark?!” Jasper asks, eyes big in disbelief. He looks again, counts the tickets. There are four. „Wait, there are four. Does that mean-„ he looks from his parents to Monty, and back again.  
  
„Yes,” his mother says, smiling kindly. „Now put on your shoes, I’ll get the car ready.”  
  
„Thank you thank you thank you!” Jasper bounces around. „You are the BEST!”

„You know it, son.”

 

* * *

 

On the way out, Jasper makes his parents buy the biggest cloud of cotton candy the park has. It’s twice the size of his head, and he feels nauseous when he’s finished it, but he’s absolutely positive he has zero regrets. Jasper loves cotton candy.

„Open up,” he instructs Monty.  
  
„Why?” the boy asks, raising an eyebrow.  
  
„Because it’s my birthday,” Jasper argues, and Monty laughs. He opens his mouth. Jasper plucks a piece of the fluffy cloud and puts it in Monty’s mouth. He then takes a big bite of cotton candy himself.  
  
„Let it melt,” he says, mouth full of sugary sweetness. His words come out muffled. Monty does as Jasper suggests, sucks on the candy floss until he can feel it melt. It’s an explosion of sweetness. There’s a brim of sugar left on his lips, sticky and sweet, shading his lips a new tint of pink. Jasper’s eyes flick to Monty’s lips before he looks at his friend again, taking another piece of cotton candy and giving it to Monty. The two walk alongside together, content and tired. Monty had loved the roller coasters. Jasper had enjoyed the boat ride the most, a moment of calm in the midst of the day. The park hadn’t been overrun with people, which was good. Norah and Joseph were glad that the waiting time had been a bare minimum, because they knew how impatient Jasper could grow. For dinner, they had had fries and a hamburger, and it had tasted amazing.

 

The sun is setting when they arrive home. Norah shakes the boys awake, who blink sleepily.  
  
„We’re home,” she smiles softly. „Time to wake up.”  
  
Monty smiles at her.  
  
„Thank you, miss Jordan.”  
  
„Please call me Norah,” she says, holding the car door open. Monty climbs out the car and nods.  
  
„Yes madam,” he says, „Norah.” Norah smiles at him, then bends towards him.  
  
„Let’s see if we bought your parents enough time, eh?” she whispers before getting up and closing the car door. Jasper starts to awaken again, a belated sugar rush kicking in.  
  
„That was superb!” he says enthusiastically. „Thank you sososososososo much!”  
  
„Well, it’s your birthday,” his dad says, „you deserved it.”  
  
Jasper grins.  
Before Jasper can step inside his house, Monty takes his hand.  
  
„I have something to show you,” Monty says, feeling nervous. He hopes his parents have had enough time. Jasper looks at him questioningly, eyebrows knitted. Curiosity sparks inside him. He feels his heartbeat rise, looks at his parents for permission to go with Monty. They nod approvingly.  
  
„Just be back in an hour,” his mother tells him. Jasper doesn’t know how fast to agree. He nods quickly before following Monty.

 

* * *

 

„Tadah,” Monty finally says, stepping aside. They are standing in between the trees behind their backyards, soil brown and fruitful. The trees are rising up, solid and majestic, like they are portioning them off from the real world. Jasper lets his eyes wander, soaks in the nature surrounding them before stumbling upon something.  
  
„A swing set,” he breathes. He’s stunned. Slowly he walks up to the tire dangling from the tree, lets his fingers travel across its surface. It’s real. It’s _real_ and really there. For once, Jasper doesn’t have any words. „Wow.”  
  
„You like it?” Monty sounds concerned.  
  
„Like it?” Jasper asks incredulous, turning towards his best friend. „Like it?” he repeats. Monty starts to stammer before Jasper cuts him off. „I fricking love it!” He hugs Monty so tight he almost can’t breathe. After that, he runs towards the tire swing, sitting down on it.

„This is amazing,” Jasper tells Monty, eyes big with bewilderment. His heart is vividly pounding, and he thinks it might beat out of his chest of pure joy. This day can’t get any better. Jasper thinks it might be the best day of his life.

„My parents made it,” Monty confesses, „I, ehm, asked your parents for help- t-they agreed. But I didn’t know anything about the theme park, I swear!” 

„This is the best day of my life,” Jasper murmurs while slowly swaying back and forth. He looks up at Monty. „Thank you.”   
  
Monty smiles, graciously shy, as if it’s no big deal. Jasper shakes his head, fazed. It _is_ a big deal.  
  
„Really,” Jasper says, soft and genuine, „thank you.” Monty’s cheeks turn red, and Jasper can feel himself blush too. Then Monty shifts, suddenly remembering something.  
  
„Wait here,” he directs Jasper before turning around and running away. Jasper is left, astonished. In a few minutes Monty is back, box in between his hands. It’s not that big, white, has a blue ribbon around it.  
  
„My real present,” Monty says, smiling. He hands Jasper the box, who shakes it a few times before opening it. Monty remembers getting the present a while ago; he had been visiting Zoe Monroe for a group project. She told him they had been sorting out their things, just like Monty and his parents had been doing when they moved. All the stuff they didn’t want to have anymore would be brought to a thrift store. The boxes had been partly filling their living room, taking up space but not feeling out of place. Monroe had managed to save a guitar and invited Monty to look through their things, maybe finding something which he liked. Eventually Monty was left with a stack of old comics which formerly belonged to Eli (‚I’m more into Wonder Woman and Elektra,’ Monroe had announced while smiling upon Monty) and a pair of goggles (Monroe had raised an eyebrow. Monty had explained they weren’t for him, but for Jasper. Monroe had smiled).  
  
„Happy birthday, _nerd_ ,” Monty says with fondness as Jasper opens his present. „Hope you like them.”

Jasper’s smile betray his feelings towards the gift.

„Thanks, _dweeb_ ,” he says, putting on the goggles. „They’re almost as cool as I am.” He looks at Monty through his goggles, smiling brightly. He shoves them to his forehead and looks at Monty, feeling oddly proud to have a friend as great as Monty.

„I,” Jasper announces, „am never taking them off.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it or you have anything you want to get of your chest, please let me know!


	5. Stars & Monkey Bars (Eleven Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sleep is for the weak," I say as I post another unbeta'd chapter at three o'clock in the morning (I really hope I'll survive work tomorrow). Anyhow, I had this weird surge to write, so I thought 'heck why not'. I hope you enjoy it! If there are any errors, I'd like to know!

„Come on, Monty, it’s like you’re not even trying!” Jasper laughs while running away.

„Well maybe if you stopped being so darn fast I would actually catch up with you!” 

„My oh my,” Jasper pretends to look shocked, „Montgomery Green, did you just swear?”

„My name’s not even Montgomery!”  


„If you say so, dweeb! Still haven’t caught up with me!” Jasper runs like the wind.  


„Where does he get the energy?” Monty asks to no one in particular. He’s leaning agains the climbing frame, panting. He’s been running around all afternoon, and his feet are starting to get tired.  


„I wouldn’t know,” Fox answers, hanging upside down. „He’s always been like that.”  


„How-„ Monty starts, then shakes his head. Fox smiles at him. „Nevermind.” 

„You get used to it,” Fox says. She pulls herself up, now sitting on top of the climbing frame. She then starts to climb to her feet.  


„Hey Jasper!” she yells. „Bet you can’t touch me!”  


„Oh, try me!” Jasper responds, turning around to race to the climbing frame.  


„Watch this,” Fox says after landing on the ground. She patiently waits until Jasper’s almost in reach, then turns and climbs up the climbing frame, as fast as lightning. Jasper, while being a fast runner, turns out to be not the best climber. By the time he makes it to the top of the frame, Fox has already jumped off of it again. He almost trips a dozen of times trying to catch Fox, who is agile and seems to be able to slip through every gap. Soon Jasper is distracted, growing tired and weary of falling down.  


„Look! Fox, look! I actually made it!” He’s standing on top of the climbing frame, a metal monkey bar under each foot. He pumps his fists in the air, victoriously. „Without falling down!” he then adds, grinning at Monty. Carefully he sits down, feet dangling in the air. „Come join me,” Jasper says before tapping the space next to him. Monty pulls himself up, swiftly.  


„You’d make a great gymnast,” Fox comments, watching as Monty makes his way up the frame. Monty sits down next to Jasper and smiles at her.  


„You’re a gymnast?” he asks, more concluding than questioning.  


„Yeah,” Fox her smile is sincere, „I’ve been doing gymnastics for a while now.”  


„Oh, and she’s _gooood_!” Jasper beams, clearly proud of his friend.  


„Thanks,” Fox grins. She climbs up the frame and joins the two boys. The view which they have is stunning; the sun is hanging low, spreading a golden glow across the playground. There are a few other kids playing a game of ball, casting shadows on the pavement. Trees and grass frame the scenery, the flowers in the Green’s and Jordan’s garden bright in their spring glow. „It’s nice out,” she finally says, getting approval from the two boys sitting beside her. When she looks aside, she sees Jasper sitting with his eyes closed, soaking up the sun. He’s enjoying the warmth radiating on his skin, and desperately tries to ignore the little electric jolt he feels when he notices that his and Monty’s pinkies are touching. Monty’s looking at Jasper for a moment, before he turns to look ahead, eyes darting across the street. He sits up suddenly, shifting. It causes Jasper to open his eyes. 

„Hey!” he then calls, frantically waving to two figures across the street. Monty smiles and Fox recognizes the two. A dog runs towards the playground, barking happily.  


„Diana!” Wells sounds a little bit aggravated. Fox jumps of the climbing frame, smoothly landing on her feet, to pet the golden retriever. Monty climbs down as well, greeting Wells. After a minute they are joined by Clarke, who is throwing a tennis ball up in the air before catching it again with one hand. Jasper stays where he is, enjoying his spot.  


„You wanna hear a joke?” he asks the others, smiling smugly.  


„Sure,” Wells says, looking up expectingly. Even Clarke looks a little curious. Monty groans, because he knows how stupid Jasper’s jokes can be. Fox chuckles softly. Jasper clears his throat before starting to tell the joke.  


„Okay, so after a sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: „all forty accounted for.” The farmer replies: „but I only have 36 sheep.” 

„I know,” says the sheepdog. „But I rounded them up.” „

„That,” Monty says, pointing his finger at Jasper, „was horrible.” Still, he’s smiling. Wells snorts while Clarke merely groans. Jasper is smiling wide, like he told the best joke in the world. 

„I enjoyed it,” Wells shrugged before whistling. Diana comes running, tail wagging. Clarke throws the ball and off Diana goes. 

„I wish I had a dog,” Fox says, „you know the Monroes have one right?” 

„Oh, you mean Eli and Zoe? I’ve seen them around,” Clarke says. 

„Their dog is pretty,” says Monty, „I think it’s a german shepherd and husky in one.”

„That is so cool!” Jasper jumps down, wincing as he doesn’t land that well as he had hoped. „Huskies are very pretty,” he smiles at Monty, even though he doesn’t know why. Truth be told, Jasper’s actually a bit scared of dogs. His great-auntie May had had a dog who had bitten him when he was four, and then again when he was five. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust dogs; he just wasn’t that big on them. Monty nods in agreement, smiling back at Jasper, and it feels like they’re exchanging secret information. 

„Yeah!” Wells agrees. „And he can do all kinds of cool tricks!”  


„Unlike Diana,” Clarke grins, picking up the tennis ball and throwing it again.  


„And whose fault is that?” Wells banters. Clarke rolls her eyes.  


„Wells, it’s your dog,” she points out, laughing.  


„I know,” Wells says before laughing himself. „My dad’s a horrible trainer.”

 

* * *

 

„Last to arrive at your house’s a loser!” 

„Well, you’re already a nerd, so it’d fit you.”  


„And you are already a dweeb. Ready?” Jasper sprints towards the front door.  


„Hey!” Monty calls after him, setting a good pace. He half throws himself forward and reaches the door the exact same moment as Jasper. „Gotcha.” His smile is triumphant.  


„So no winners,” Jasper states, giving Monty time to catch his breath.  


„All losers,” Monty finishes, opening his front door. Jasper steps inside.  


„Hey fellas,” Dave Green says, ruffling the boy’s hair as soon as they walk into the kitchen. „Just in time. Monty, I got something for you.”   
He turns around, picks something up from the countertop. Monty smells it before he sees it.

„Banana split!” he exclaims excitedly. He hastily makes his way to their dining table, sitting down on one of the chairs. Jasper soon joins him, sitting opposite of him.  


„Now I’m afraid you’ll have to share-„  


„Never!” Monty exclaims before attacking the banana split with a spoon. He stuffs his mouth with ice cream, banana and chocolate, then makes a noise of pure contentment. Dave hands Jasper a spoon.  


„Hmmm,” Monty half moans, closing his eyes, „so. Good.” 

Jasper tries to steal a bite, but Monty quickly turns the tray away, getting it out of Jasper’s reach.  


„Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?” Jasper squeezes his eyes together, looking menacing, before smiling. He leans over the tabletop, stretching. When he almost reaches the banana split, Monty quickly moves. Jasper gets up to move around the table. Monty manages to dodge Jasper for a solid five minutes before he manages to take a bite. The ice cream is mostly melted, but Monty doesn’t care because he’s laughing. Jasper’s laughing too, and his eyes are all wide, and he’s _radiating_.

Monty likes this Jasper best. Happy and bouncy and _radiating_.  


„Victory is mine!” Jasper declares, still chewing.  


„Ew,” Monty comments, giggling. „Close your mouth.”  


„Vctry ‚smine,” Jasper says, mouth closed. Monty starts to giggle again, then straight up laughs. Jasper watches as Monty’s eyes crinkle, can feel the laughter bubbling up too. In a few seconds they are laughing uncontrollably, body shaking. Jasper can feel it in the pit of his stomach, happiness bursting. He suddenly becomes aware of it, how light he feels. It’s the same kind of happiness he’s experienced during his birthday, brand-new and bright. He doesn’t want to let go of it.

Neither does Monty.

 

* * *

 

„School sucks,” Jasper states, and Monty gasps.

„Jasper Jordan, did you just curse in _my_ home?”  


„I certainly did, mister Montgomery.”  


„Such posh words,” Monty retorts, ignoring the nickname. Jasper shrugs.  


„When are we going to learn fun stuff?”  


„Like?”  


„Science.”  


„High school, probably,” Monty says, thinking about it.  


„Ugh,” Jasper groans, „I’ll have to wait two more years. Two more years of useless school.”  


„School’s important,” Monty says, „you’ll need to know other things before you can learn science.”  


„Being important doesn’t make it more fun,” Jasper stresses, resting his head against Monty’s desk. Monty chuckles. „My dad always says I have to make it fun. How do you make school _fun_?” Jasper scrounges his nose.

„There’s lots of ways,” Monty says, „I’ll help you find yours.”

 

* * *

 

Jasper has always been an excitable boy. He’s also always been very energetic. School doesn’t come easy; it takes a lot of effort to keep his mind at the tasks at hand, it’s hard to concentrate on things he doesn’t find that interesting. Monty makes a lot of things sustainable, though, even manages to make some things fun. Jasper quickly learns he needs to have a carefully planned out scheme for reading books he’s obliged to read. He doesn’t like it. He wants to not be obliged to read every day. He wants to be able to read and focus. The always present jitters start to annoy him; maybe there’s something wrong.   
He hopes that he’ll grow out of it.

Monty has always been the calmer of the two, even tho he lights up like the fourth of july every time they start talking about his favorite subjects. When he starts talking about them, he’s on fire. It’s a very secluded part of him, reserved for only those closest to him. Jasper loves the light in Monty’s eyes when he talks about space. He could listen to Monty going on for hours and hours, letting his mind wander to the vast void of outer space. Monty has always been viewed as calm, but Jasper knows it’s all surface; Monty Green is a burning passion pit, and Jasper Jordan’s loving every second of it.  
It’s no surprise when Monty, sitting on his bed surrounded by glow in the dark stars, makes a proposition. It’s a lazy afternoon really, just a few weeks before school ends and summer starts. Jasper’s moving around his own room restlessly, hustling some papers, scribbling something down, not actually doing any work. He knows he should probably start reading, but he really doesn’t want to.  
„I could read to you,” Monty offers, sitting cross-legged on the bed. Jasper stills, slowly turning to Monty.

„You’d do that for me?” His heart skips exactly one beat.  


„Yeah,” Monty shifts, shrugging. „Gotta make it fun, right?” 

Jasper smiles.  


„I’ll get you a milkshake,” he says before turning and going downstairs. Monty beats the cushion on the bed, makes himself comfortable. They don’t have a particular book they have to read for school, it’s just nice for practice. Monty picks up the book lying on Jasper’s bedside table, and to his surprise it’s Harry Potter. Monty smiles to himself, quickly takes a look at where Jasper’s at in the book. The bookmark’s stuck on the first page. Monty’s remembering everything that will happen that chapter when Jasper walks into his room, holding up two glasses of milkshake and two saucers with cake. He puts them on his bedside table before sitting down on his bed. At a rapid speed he finishes his milkshake, wincing as he experiences a moment of ‚brain-freeze’. Monty chuckles.  


„Can I- ?” Jasper gestures towards his bed, then towards his body. Monty nods, slowly, understanding that Jasper wants to lie down. He takes a sip of the milkshake before clearing his throat. 

„The boy who lives,” Monty starts, „Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.”  


Jasper lies down on his back, listening to the words coming out of Monty’s mouth. It’s like honey is dripping down his throat, all smooth and soothing. If reading were always like this, he would never stop reading. He closes his eyes, letting himself get lost in the words. He feels the story coming to life, starts creating this world in his head where nobody can reach him. This must be what it’s like to really read, Jasper thinks, and suddenly he feels a pang of sadness, followed by bitter determination. He will learn to read like this, he promises himself. And until he can, he will listen to Monty reading to him.  


 

* * *

 

„Hey Bryan,” Jasper walks up to the brown-haired boy. „Would you, ehm, go to the library with me?”

„Sure,” Bryan smiles. „Why?”  


„I need to get some books, but I’m not that familiar there,” Jasper admits, a bit ashamed. He’s never really been to the library; they have a small library at home, a reading room one might say. He’s used to stacks of books lying around, so he’s never felt the need to go to the library. This time is different, though.  


„I’ll help you out,” Bryan says. Jasper nods, glad that Bryan doesn’t think he’s dumb.  


„Meet you in five?” he asks, and the boy agrees. Jasper walks back to his home to get a backpack and his bike.  


„Where are you going sweety?” asks Norah when she sees her son leaving with a backpack.  


„The library,” Jasper says, „they have a few books I want to read.”  


„Don’t forget to take your library card,” his mum tells him. Jasper rummages through a few drawers before finally finding the card.  


„Thank you mum,” he says. He waves a quick goodbye to his mother. Bryan is waiting on the front porch, accompanied by Harper.  


„I heard you were going to the library,” she says, „I still have to turn in mine, so I’ll join.”  


„Cool!” Jasper says. It takes them ten minutes to get to the library. It’s quite a modern building, tho the inside still has this dusty old feeling libraries tend to have. Jasper takes a liking to it, the smell of books and the shelves reaching up to the ceiling. It’s all very Monty to him, and maybe that’s why he likes it. But it’s also very quiet. He feels like entering another world.  
He makes a round before searching the books he’s looking for. He’s got time, so at first he just aimlessly wanders around. He notices a few desks with some old computers, a woman setting behind a special desk, the green lampshades of the lamps on the tables. There’s an older kid sitting in a chair, studying, and there’s an old lady softly humming. When Jasper spots Bryan, he guesses that’s where he has to be. His eyes travel across the shelves, seeking a certain title. Triumphantly he takes the book of the shelf, studying its cover. The words across it spell out it’s title.  
_The Universe and Its Secrets._

 

* * *

 

Jasper spends days cramming in his room. To Fox, Bryan, Harper en Monroe it seems like an odd thing to do in the middle of summer, but Monty’s gone for a week and Jasper wants to surprise Monty when he gets back home. It takes some courage, but he when he finally gets it he feels so unbelievable proud. Maybe he’s not that stupid after all. 

It’s wednesday after dinner when Monty arrives home. The week has been good, spent upstate with his aunt and nieces. There had been a big family reunion on thursday, which took all weekend. There had been a lot of food, chatter an niceties. It had been fun, Monty thought, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself thinking that it’d be more fun with Jasper by his side. Monty has no doubt Jasper’s got a lot to tell about his week now that he’s back, but when he sees Jasper again he’s hit up with only one question.  


„Do you want to stay the night?”  


Monty nods, dumbfounded.  


„Y-yea- eh- I- have to ask my mum and dad,” he stumbles. Jasper nods, patiently waits while Monty goes to ask his parents if he can stay over at Jasper’s. They smile and tell him it’s fine. He goes to his room to quickly pack a few things.  


„Love you mum,” he tells his mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek. „Love you dad!”  


„See you in the morning, son,” his father says, „don’t eat too much ice cream.”  


Jasper is smiling brightly when Monty turns up. The door’s already open, and once in his room Monty sees he’s pushed aside some of his toys so that there’s room for a mattress on the floor.  


„Okay, soooo,” Jasper starts before closing the door after him. Monty puts down his bag. „We can put down a mattress, OR- we can just sleep in the same bed.”  


He looks expectantly at Monty, who flushes. Monty never really had the choice before, so he doesn’t know how to respond now; either way, he doesn’t think he cares- it doesn’t matter to him, as long as he’ll be able to sleep eventually.

„It’s big enough,” Jasper says. „You’ll get your own pillow and blanket. Only we won’t need to get the mattress from the attic,” he explains, and smiles cheerfully. 

„Okay,” Monty slowly nods. Jasper lets out a ‚whoop’ and starts dragging a blanket towards his bed.  


„This is going to be the best night ever!” he exclaims. „Mum and dad said we can watch a movie if we get in our pajamas. They’ll even make us 

popcorn!” Jasper’s already throwing off his shirt, changing into his pajamas. They are the best; there are cookies on his bottoms, and cookie monster’s on his shirt. Monty pulls out a pajama with little stars on it.  


„Cool!” Jasper says, complimenting Monty.  


„I wish they’d glow in the dark, like the stars on your ceiling,” Monty sighs before putting on his slippers.  


„Yeah, nothing’s more awesome than my ceiling,” Jasper says. „Except for me. I’m always the most awesome. And the most amazing _._ ”  


„You wish,” Monty says, „the position of most amazing thing in the room is already taken.”  


„I’m not a thing,” Jasper laughs. „You’re just jelly.”  


„I’m not jelly,” Monty retorts. „I’m not a thing either.” 

Jasper looks at him before realizing that Monty just made a joke.  


„That was terrible,” Jasper says, sounding like he’s annoyed, but then he’s already laughing, and Monty doesn’t believe his annoyance.  


„Terrible but true.”  


„You are terrible,” Jasper eventually hiccups, clutching his stomach. They haven’t even made it downstairs yet and he’s already in tears. „Truly terrible.”  


 

Jasper shakes Monty awake around midnight.  


„Hey Monty,” he whispers softly, careful not to startle the boy next to him. „Do you want to watch the stars?”  


„Mwha?” Monty asks, barely making a sound. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, staring at the dimly lit ceiling. There’s a greenish glow radiating from the stars on Jasper’s ceiling.  


Jasper gets out of bed and puts on a hoodie.  


„Do you want to watch the stars?” he asks again. His eyes gleam mischievously, a look inherited from his mother. Monty sits up straight, blinks a few times to check if this isn’t a dream. After half a minute Jasper’s still standing there in front of his window, awaiting an answer.  


„Yes,” Monty answers whispering, suddenly more awake. He throws on one of Jaspers hoodies and a pair of socks. Jasper opens his window, gesturing for Monty to come. He climbs out on the roof, followed by Monty. There are a few clouds in the sky, but they’re fleeting, not blocking their view. There’s a cool summer breeze blowing past Monty’s skin, causing him to shiver. Jasper moves closer, noticing his friend being cold. This is the moment he’s been studying for.  
They lay down, side by side. The night is surrounding them, like a dark blanket fort. Jasper points at the sky, index finger pointed at the northern star, and starts telling about the zodiac. Monty already knows most of the things Jasper tells him, but he still listens. He loves hearing about space, thinks he might even become an astronaut someday. Jasper knows.  
He keeps telling Monty anyway.

Their voices are hushed murmurs in the night. Monty tells a few fun facts about the planets, pointing out the few visible ones. Jasper turns his head so he can see Monty while he talks, the milky way reflected in his eyes. Their shoulders are touching, a comfortable warmth in the chilly night. Monty could lay here for hours, wishes the night would never end. Jasper would spend an eternity like this.

When they finally fall asleep, they’re all folded sheets and tangled limbs, minds set across the universe.  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please share your thoughts, let me know if you want to say anything about it! :)


	6. Plants & Polaroids (Twelve Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Another chapter, woohoo! This chapter is a lot more Monty-centric because I felt like I haven't really done that before, and it has been a lot more Jasper-centric than I intended. That being said, this kinda feels like a strange chapter to me as it's the first chapter where they actually spend a lot of time apart. The next chapter will pick up where we left off, in the summer that Monty turns thirteen and they are spending some time apart due to family holidays. They will be reunited very soon tho!  
> From now one there will be more of a switch in perspectives I suppose. At this point, the whole fic is globally planned out and I think there will be about six to ten chapters left (ten is more likely haha).
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy reading this! Still completely unbeta'd, so I'd love to hear it if there are any mistakes!

If you told Monty five years ago he’d meet his best friend for life that year, he would’ve laughed in your face. After all, how would you know that it’d be his best friend for life? Monty’d never thought he’d have a best friend for life at the age of twelve. A friend, sure, maybe even a best friend. But f _or life_? That’d be one hell of a commitment.  
Truth is, Monty Green, age 12, _knows_ he has a friend for life. His and Jasper’s friendship is one of the unshakable kind; a lot would have to happen to tear them apart. Monty knows this, feels it coiling inside him. There’ll never be one for him like Jasper.

 

* * *

 

Monty loves the nights they spend gaping at the stars. Throughout the year, they sneak out to climb on the roof, lay outside. In summer, they are allowed to camp outside, tents set up in their backyard. In winter, they put on layers of clothing and watch the freezing night sky. When they’re cold, they’ll huddle together, sharing body heat and keeping each other warm. Jasper stays over a dozen times, exhausted after a day filled with school, errands, and homework. Monty stays at the Jordan’s house as well, always woken with the promise of pancakes and tea. 

„Hey, Jasper,” he whispers, softly shaking the smaller boy awake. Jasper wakes, groaning, hair sticking out on every side. He rubs his eyes before he stretches, yawning.   
  
„G’morning,” he merely mumbles, smiling slowly at Monty. Monty smiles back, refraining himself from striking a strand of hair out of Jasper’s eyes. They untangle their legs, quietly come out of bed. Monty tiptoes around the bed, picking up his clothes. Outside the birds are humming, even though it’s autumn. The light colors Jasper’s room a golden yellow.  
  
The boys dress separately; Monty remembers that they didn’t a year ago, but things are starting to feel awkward; his body, his muscles; everything is twisting and growing. He doesn’t particularly hate the way his body looks; he just doesn’t like it. Jasper has disappeared into the bathroom. Monty can hear the water running as he’s dressing. When he’s done he picks up one of the books on Jasper’s desk, thin and light. Monty smiles as he reads the title. The Tales of the Beedle Bard, the tales from the Harry Potter series Monty has been reading to Jasper. It is a habit now, reading to Jasper. Monty loves those moments; Jasper seems to really calm down. There are times that Jasper rests his head in Monty’s lap, eyes fluttering close, calmly breathing. In those moments he looks utterly peaceful, and Monty always wonders _how_. Maybe there’s a magic in his words that he isn’t aware of. He never asks.

He likes the idea, though. 

 

„Good morning boys,” Norah greets the pair. Joseph’s setting the table, while Newton desperately tries to climb the counter. He doesn’t get to; Jasper picks the cat up and carries him towards the living room. Newton meows loudly in protest, but doesn’t bite or claw his way out of Jasper’s arms.  
  
„Aw, he’s starting to like me!” Jasper coos, petting the cat in his arms. Monty laughs.  
  
„Only took him twelve years,” he says, watching how Jasper decides to keep walking in circles around their coffee table. With every round Newton starts to look more desperate. It’s pretty hilarious.  
  
„It only took you one week,” Jasper snorts.  
  
„I win,” Monty smiles, and Jasper turns to look at him. There’s something in his eyes Monty can’t quite place. He knows he likes it, though.  
  
„You win,” Jasper eventually nods, lifting up Newton like Simba in the Lion King. Newton starts to struggle, paws and legs writhing. He eventually manages to escape Jasper’s grip, landing on the ground with a loud meow.

„You lose,” Monty grins as soon as Newton has ran away. Jasper scoffs and turns to him.  
  
„Really?” he says, slowly coming closer.  
  
„Oh no,” Monty sighs, slowly backing away. It doesn’t matter; Jasper still comes from him, lifting him of the ground.  
  
„Let me go,” Monty half laughs, kicking trying to get free. Jasper puts Monty down again, but simply changes tactics. He starts to tickle him, and Monty can’t stop the laughter bubbling inside him.  
  
„You’re horrible,” Monty hiccups, pretending to be defenseless. When Jasper weakens his grip, decreases the tickling, Monty manages to floor Jasper. He hovers over Jasper, pinning him down. There’s a mischievous gleam in Jasper’s eyes, and in that moment Monty knows he’ll lose whatever fight it is they’re fighting. In a split second Jasper flips Monty over, straddling his hips. They both are grinning, panting lightly. Jasper licks his lips and Monty can feel something stir inside him. He flicks his eyes back to Jasper’s brown eyes before he can blush, letting out a huff of air. Monty lies, waiting for another tickle fight. It doesn’t start. Monty starts squirming, happy but confused, trying to get away. He searches Jasper’s face inquisitively, then decides his course of action. In a moment Monty pushes Jasper away, lies him on his back again, and tickles him a few seconds before rising to his feet.  
  
„See?” Monty asks triumphantly, rising above a still slightly panting Jasper. „I win.” He holds out a hand, pulls Jasper to his feet. Jasper rolls with his eyes.

„For now,” he says, huffing. He lets go of Monty’s hand. Monty’s still grinning.

 

* * *

  
The Green family has a Christmas tradition. There are families that go all out in decorating their gardens; the Greens do no such thing. Coming from the city, it’s simply impractical. However, ever since they’ve moved to the suburbs, Hannah and Dave Green go out every year to buy the largest Christmas trees possible. They spent days decorating them, putting lights in them, making sure they’re stable and healthy. Monty always helps. There’s one in their front garden, and one in the middle of their living room. Monty doesn’t have many memories from before the suburbs, but he remembers a christmas tree filling up the room, being the only source of light. He remembers the presents stacked underneath it, waking to sit on the carpet on the wooden floor of the apartment. Monty misses the distinct smell; Christmas in the suburbs has never smelled the same.

Most of the years, Jasper’s gone with Christmas. The Jordans celebrate Christmas upstate, in the landhouse of Jasper’s uncle. He hangs out with his nephew, who’s called Tommy but wants to be called Jeff. Jasper doesn’t tell much about it, which Monty finds curious, but he’s okay with it. He misses Jasper, but likes spending Christmas with his parents. Christmas eve this year is filled with his nephews and nieces and uncles and aunts, both his grandparents and a dog or two. The house is pleasantly filled with warmth and noises. Monty’s little niece, Cassie, clings to his leg. Two of his nephews are running around, wild. There’s no one his age; there’s Leigh and Jenny who are fifteen and sixteen, and then there’s Aaron and James and Cassie, who are younger than he is. Leigh tries to calm her little brothers down, but with no avail.  
  
„Monty,” his mother calls from the kitchen. „Could you keep your nephews busy?”  
  
Monty takes them upstairs. They stare at his ceiling, where the stars are glowing dimly. A line of hoarfrost is plastered against the windows, partly blocking the light from the streetlights outside. James gasps.  
  
„Woah,” he says, hands reaching towards the ceiling. „I want a room like this.”  
  
„Yeah,” Aaron agrees. He looks at his twin brother. „We could ask mum.”  
  
„How did you do it?” James asks Monty, who turns red, embarrassed.  
  
„I didn’t,” he admits, „Jasper did it.”

„We should ask Jasper!” Aaron exclaims, shaking his brother’s arm. He then turns to Monty. „Where’s Jasper?”  
  
„Upstate,” Monty answers, and he has to face two very disappointed looking faces.  
  
„B-but I can ask him when he’s back, and then call?” he suggests. His nephews light up, come up to him to hug him.  
  
„Who is Jasper?” asks James, curious. Aaron lets out a small gasp.  
  
„Jasper’s my friend,” Monty says, and after all these years he still feels proud.  
  
„Your best friend?” Aaron asks, eyes big. Monty nods.  
  
„The bestes of friends?” James asking, making a big gesture with his arms, depicting the earth. „In the whole wide world?”

Monty nods again, because it’s true.  
  
„Best friends for life,” he smiles. His nephews look at him wide-eyed.  
  
„For life is a long time,” Aaron says. „Almost as long as forever!”  
  
„I know,” Monty agrees. „We’ll make it.”  
  
That’s when Dave calls them down for dinner. Monty’s nephews rush down the stairs, excited and giddy. Monty follows them, walks calmly down the stairs. The glass table is covered with a large red tablecloth. The table is set with their nicest plates and silver, which is only ever used for special occasions. Aunt Jade lights the candles while Monty’s father dims the light. The Christmas dinner is filled with chatter and chitchat, talks about grades and pay grades. Monty mostly listens while he eats dinner. It’s all okay, cosy and nice, until one of his uncles starts talking to him.  
  
„So Monty, do you have a girlfriend yet?”  
  
Monty shakes his head.  
  
„Ooh, but there’s a girl on your mind, right?” he asks, big grin on his face. Monty can see his mother shooting her brother a glare, but he doesn’t seem to notice.  
  
„No sir,” he says politely, helplessly looking around the table.  
  
„No worries boy, it will come soon,” his uncle takes a bite of his potatoes. „Tell you what, when I was your age I had already had my first kiss and two girlfriends. But George over there,” he points to Monty’s other uncle, „was a late bloomer. Didn’t like anyone ‚til he was fourteen. Took him forever to finally get kissed, poor kid was fifteen. That’s okay though.” He chuckles, and Monty shudders. His uncle doesn’t make it sound like it’s _okay_.  
  
„Hannah, sis,” his uncle turns to his mother, „surely there have been some girls around? Anyone he might be interested in?”  
  
Monty can feel the food turn tasteless in his mouth. He doesn’t know what it is, but suddenly, he’s not enjoying his dinner anymore. His mother sends him a short searching look before turning to her brother.

„Monroe’s been around, she lives down the street,” his mother tells. Monty uncle grins, sends him a look that says _‚see, you just don’t want to tell_ ’.

„That’s what I’m talking about,” uncle Rich says. „She any good?”

Monty feels nauseous. Is there something wrong with him for not liking anyone?  
Monty hadn’t realized he was supposed to be in love. His insides turn.  
_There must be something wrong with me._

 

Monty’s sitting in the tire swing. It’s freezing outside, and his fingers are cold. He grips the rubber, fingers turning white. He hears the laughter coming from inside, sees silhouettes dancing behind curtains. He gently swings while humming ‚Dream A Little Dream Of Me’. His dad always played the record on Christmas eve; tonight has been no exception. He moves when he hears the sound of their backdoor, followed by the sound of the gate.

„Hey.” It’s Leigh, wrapped in her woolen coat. She makes her way past the fence. „Cool place.”  
  
„Thanks,” Monty says, smiling sadly. He still feels some kind of empty.  
  
„What’s the matter?” Leigh asks. She crosses her arms, still shivering, even though it isn’t that cold outside. Monty looks at her, calculating. She’s looking at him, face concerned.  
  
Monty shrugs.  
  
„Not much,” he says, „just thinking.”  
  
Leigh’s look lingers for a second before she moves.  
  
„If you want to talk, I’m here,” she says, „now come inside, they’re serving dessert.”

 

* * *

  
„I hate that there’s never any snow here,” Jasper says. „Upstate there was snow. It was really pretty. And cold. You’d like it.”  
Monty chuckles.  
  
„I don’t know,” he says, „like you said, it’s cold.”  
  
„It’s really cool as well,” Jasper grins. Monty groans.  
  
„You’re still horrible,” he smiles. He gives Jasper a little shove, who willingly lets it happen.

„But you like it,” Jasper counters. „Without my horribleness your life would be _boring_.”  
  
Monty doesn’t react to that. He sits down on their grey couch, blanket wrapped around him.  
  
„Scoot over,” Jasper says, nestling himself next to Monty. He shivers a bit. „You know what would be best?”  
  
„No,” Monty deadpans, and Jasper laughs.  
  
„Hot cocoa with whipped cream and marshmallows.”  
  
„Hm,” Monty says, longingly. „We should make hot chocolate.”  
  
„But we just sat down!” Jasper protests. Monty raises an eyebrow.  
  
„No work, no play,” he says before grinning. He walks into the kitchen, followed by Jasper. He takes a saucepan, pours some milk in it. „I’ll cook the milk, you search the pantry for marshmallows.”  
  
„Sir yes sir!” Jasper salutes. „On it, boss!”  
  
Their mugs of hot cocoa turn out to be miniature battlefields. There’s chocolate spilling over the brims, the whipped cream is a piteous cloud of molten fluff, and the marshmallows are all weird shapes thanks to Jasper cutting them up to create mini-marshmallows.

It’s the best hot cacao they have ever tasted.

Both boys end up on the couch, snuggled under one blanket, watching Star Wars. Monty’s loving every second of it; the spaceships, the fights, Luke and Leia. He’s enthused. He sometimes can feel Jasper’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t want to look away from the screen. Jasper grows tired, almost falls asleep during the last movie of the original trilogy, but manages to stay awake. However, when the movie ends, Monty finds Jasper’s head resting on his chest. His eyes are fluttering close fast, breaths become steady and slow. Monty turns off the tv and rest his head on top of Jasper’s, stifling a yawn before he snuggles closer, closing his eyes. His best friend’s body is warm against his chest.

 

* * *

  
Spring rolls around and Monty loves it. It is gradually getting warmer. Hoodies disappear into the closet and shirts come out. Monty starts to carry around bottles of water, one for himself at first, and later an additional one for Jasper, who seems to be forgetting more and more things when going somewhere. The only thing Jasper never forgets, are oddly enough an extra pair of sharpened pencils, because he notices that Monty always loses his. Monty can’t ever find his pencil sharpener either, so when the tip of his pencil breaks, Jasper swaps the pencil for a new one. It’s an odd habit, but they get used to it, up until the point that Monty has to go up to Harper to borrow a pencil sharpener when Jasper is out with the flu, which feels slightly awkward. Harper just smiles at him, sweetly, and tells him to bring it back.

Two days later Monty’s out with the flu as well.

 

* * *

 

„Look at what I found!” Jasper comes running into Monty’s room, without knocking. Monty immediately looks at the object in his hands, recognizing it.  
  
„Amazing!” he exclaims. He takes a closer look, lifting the object, fingers brushing against Jasper’s. His eyes spark. „Where did you find it?”  
  
„In the attic,” Jasper says, smiling. „Wanna see if it works?”  
  
He lifts the polaroid camera. It’s a blue Polaroid One600 Classic Instant Camera, small and fairly light.

„Sure!” Monty nods enthusiastically. They probe the thing, try to make it come alive.   
It doesn’t, not at first.  
  
„Let me take a look at it,” Monty says, hand outstretched. Jasper hands the Polaroid over and Monty starts inspecting the thing. He’s sure it’s fixable, whatever the problem is. There can’t be too much wrong with it, not in this condition. Monty smiles triumphantly when he discovers what the problem is. In a matter of seconds he fixes it, probing a few things into place, restoring the camera to its original state.  
  
„Here,” he hands the camera back to Jasper. „It should work again.”  
  
„Dude,” Jasper says, eyes wide. He makes a very Troy Bolton-like gesture with his hands and grins. „That is awesome!”  
  
Monty shrugs nonchalantly. His mother once showed him how to fix his alarm, and after that they started doing little projects. Hannah Green merely thinks the skill will be useful; Monty mostly enjoys fixing things.  
  
„Let’s take it outside,” Jasper says, tugging at Monty’s hand. It’s an old habit, one about which Jasper suddenly feels they’re getting too old for. He quickly releases Monty’s hand, thinking that it might give Monty the wrong idea- after all, hand holding was something for _kids_ or _couples_. And they were neither.  
Monty almost grabs Jasper’s wrist in reflex, used to the holding on to each other. It feels weird not to do. Monty wonders if there’s a growing barrier, and suddenly thinks back to the conversation with uncle Rich. Maybe Jasper had started liking a girl, had even fallen in love with- he wouldn’t want to think that- what? Monty feels confused for a moment, but shakes it off. This is not the time or place to think about it. If Jasper liked someone, he would tell Monty. After all, they’re best friends. Maybe even for life.  
  
„Hey Jasper,” Monty says, following the older boy into his backyard. There’s a hammock resting in between two trees. Jasper turns around at the hearing of his name.  
  
„Yeah?” he looks at Monty expectantly. Monty swallows, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Jasper’s eyes are wide and glisten in the sunlight. Jasper notices how Monty’s Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, how he bites his lips before asking his question.  
  
„We’re best friends right?”  
  
Jasper’s eyebrows are knitted in confusion before he answers.  
  
„Yes,” he answers without missing a heartbeat. Monty feels a wave of relieve wash over him. His smile is wide and genuine. Jasper is entranced by it. Monty feels delighted.  
  
„For life?”  
  
„For eons and aeons, and everything that passes eternity.”

 

* * *

  
„Dad,” Monty asks his father one day, „why don’t we have a kitchen garden anymore?” 

His father looks up from his paper, blinking.  
  
„That’s a good question,” he states, then gets up and walks into the hallway. Monty can hear him rummaging through the pantry, moving all kinds of things aside. In the city, they never had any space for an actual garden, let alone an allotment. Still Dave Green had maintained a kitchen garden; little pots had littered the windowsill in their tiny city apartment kitchen. Dave Green himself doesn’t really know why he hasn’t started over now he has room to do it; he supposes that it simply hadn’t come to mind. In the back of the pantry he finds his garden equipment.  
  
„Do you want to go and plant a kitchen garden?” he asks his son, who’s sitting at the table. Monty nods happily.  
  
„Yeah!” Monty says. „Let’s make a list of all the veggies we want to grow. And all the herbs!”  
  
„Sounds like a good idea son,” his father says, „I’ll get pen and paper.”  
  
They’re talking, consulting. Both Greens end up happy with their plan. Monty’s father promises to get seeds as soon as possible, so that they can start their new project together. Monty’s excited.

 

* * *

  
Jasper takes a polaroid picture of the first plant that grows in the potted soil. Monty tries to protest, but Jasper shakes his head ferociously.  
  
„This is a very special moment,” Jasper declares, „it’s like your firstborn.”  
  
„It’s a plant,” Monty stresses.  
  
„The first plant you made come out of the earth!”  
  
„Yeah, like I’m a plant whisperer,” Monty says, „I can hypnotize plants into coming out of the earth with my sweet coaxed voice.”  
Jasper snorts.  
  
„I’m gonna pin this photo to your wall,” he announces, and he takes off. Monty comes after him, watches as Jasper takes a pin and actually pins the polaroid to his bedroom wall. He shakes his head, smiling.  
  
„You are unbelievable.”  
  
„Unbelievably good you mean. I’m a real photographer.”  
  
„Just like I’m a real plant whisperer,” Monty snorts.  
  
„Exactly!” Jasper grins at him. „Come, let’s go outside again. I want to photograph the neighborhood.”

 

* * *

  
There’s a sudden flash blinding Monty.  
  
„What did you do that for?” he asks, trying to blink the spots in front of his eyes away, caused by the flash.  
Jasper just shrugs.  
  
„Gotta have a photo of my best friend for beyond eternity, right?”  
  
Monty doesn’t protest; the polaroid is one of the many taken that summer.  
They all end up on Jasper’s wall.

 

* * *

  
Monty decides to take up swimming over the summer. He’s learned how to in their local city pool, but has forgotten how the water used to feel against his skin, how smoothly he’d skim through the water. It’s hot outside, and his parents are longing for a break from the suburbs. They take him swimming. The swimming pool is crowded. The impeccable weather is probably one of the biggest causes, but of course there’s also parents who’re finally having some time to spend with their children. The big crowd doesn’t bother Monty, as long as he can swim everything is fine. He has forgotten how much he used to love to swim.  
That evening, he walks up to his parents.  
  
„Can we go swimming more often?”  
  
„Of course,” is his father’s immediate response. He looks happy about the fact that his son is taking interest in something sports-related.  
  
„We can learn you how to bike to the swimming pool,” his mother proposes, „so you can go whenever you like without having to depend on us. Just make sure you are safe. And take your friends with you sometimes.”  
  
Monty beams brightly, then nods.  
  
„Thank you,” he says, genuinely happy. He’s excited to have something to look forward to; he knows Jasper will be away for four weeks, visiting family across the states. „I will.”  
  
Monty visits the swimming pool almost every day. Eli, Monroe’s brother, sets up a training schedule for him and his little sister. Monty is pleasantly surprised to find out that Monroe loves swimming as well, just like Clarke. Harper likes it too, even tho she likes rock climbing more. At first, the scheme is tiring, but after the first week, Eli decides they are ready for a more intense one. Monty gets used to it, the faint chlorine smell lingering on his skin, the straining muscles, the cool air and the water surrounding him. After practice Clarke gets home, but Monty often joins Monroe. She still has the guitar she managed to save from the thrift shop; she’s actually gotten pretty good at playing the guitar.  
  
„My parents payed for lessons,” she explains, sitting crossed legged on the stone tiles in her backyard, back relaxing against the fence. „It’s pretty cool. Listen.” She plays a fragment Monty vaguely recognizes.  
  
„Metallica,” Monroe smiles, „their most popular and easy song. You want to learn?”  
  
Monty nods, enthusiastically. Monroe hands her guitar to him.  
  
„We’ll start off with the basics, okay?”  
  
„Okay,” Monty says, gently placing his fingers on the strings. He picks it up quite swiftly, pride blossoming inside his chest. He starts trying some random things, tries to create music flowing from various tones. It’s a soft sweet melody crossing the air. Monroe’s smiling at him, nodding approvingly along to the music. Monty loves it, even though it feels clumsy and it doesn’t come out quite right. Softly, he hums.  
He wishes Jasper’d be there.


	7. Summer Blues (Thirteen Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly what I planned and not exactly what I wanted, but here we go! I'm a bit tired from my study trip, so it's not the best I've written so far (sorry). It's a bit of a filler chap, but I hope you enjoy it nontheless! 
> 
> Up next chapter: a talent showcase, some angst and a few revelations. For now: general togetherness and being away.

Summer is long and hot and boring. Jasper doesn’t really have much nephews or nieces or cousins, or family for that matter; the family they are visiting are long lost aunts and uncles living in an arid area. Jasper thinks he might’ve started breathing out dust. Miles away, Monty is playing the guitar, swimming, spending his time without Jasper.  
There’s not much to do for Jasper; no arcades, no parks, just snakes and dust and a swimming pool he doesn’t want to enter. There’s something about the desert, though. It grows on Jasper like weed.

In the third week of their stay his aunt and uncle from upstate arrive. They are only staying one week because they are too busy traveling to less deserted resorts; Jasper doesn’t really mind. They brought ‚call me Jeff’ Tommy, his cousin. It’s as big his family’s going to get; the only ones not visiting are his grandparents.   
Tommy is three years older than Jasper is. He’s got a driver’s license, something which is both extremely cool and extremely important to Jasper. Tommy can go places without his parents or bike now; it must be amazing. Jasper thinks it’s a new kind of freedom he isn’t ready for. He yearns to drive the car though; a rusty red pick-up, completely worn-through.  
  
„I paid for it myself,” Tommy says, patting the hood of the car. It creaks. Jasper is pretty sure it’s not supposed to. „When I’ve earned more money I’ll sell this piece of junk and buy a better one.”  
  
„But your parents have enough money,” Jasper says, confused. He doesn’t understand why Tommy chooses to drive this barrel when he just needs to _ask_ his parents for more money to get a decent car.

It’s a luxury Jasper never will have.

Tommy sighs, striking his hand through his jet-black hair.

„It’s not about that,” he says eventually, „it’s about really earning something, being able to call it your own. I bought this thing, how crappy it may be. I earned it fair and square, worked my ass off to get it. It’s a piece of junk, yes, but I love it because I _earned_ it.”  
  
Jasper nods, trying to understand.  
  
„Shall I take you somewhere?”  
  
„Yes please,” Jasper answers, climbing into the car.

 

„I have a piece of junk I love too,” Jasper says. Tommy snorts. His parents look partly shocked, partly amused. They’re at the dinner table.  
  
„You do, huh?” Tommy says, raising his eyebrows. Jasper nods without explaining any further.  
  
„So- what is it?” Aunt Anne asks carefully. There’s a silence Jasper doesn’t understand.  
  
„The polaroid camera I found,” he says, taking a bite. Tommy smiles at him, like what he said was actually _cool_. It makes sense, because the polaroid camera _is_ cool.  
  
„What makes it a piece of junk?” Tommy asks, and Norah gives him a stern look that says ‚watch your language’. Tommy merely shrugs.  
  
„Well, it’s very old,” Jasper says lightheartedly, „just like your truck.”  
  
„Does it work?” uncle Jeremiah asks. He’s looking very interested, leaning a few inches over the tabletop. He’s looking at Jasper, gaze intense and fixed, eyes sparking with joy.  
Jasper nods.  
  
„It does. It didn’t at first, but then Monty fixed it,” he smiles proudly. „It was so cool. He just went-„ Jasper makes a series of gestures and noises „-and then it worked again!”  
  
Aunt Mimi smiles at him, then turns to look lovingly at her husband. Once, the camera had been theirs. They had traveled the states with it, until finding their future hometown. The polaroid camera had gotten lost when she had moved out to move in with Jeremiah. She’s glad the thing had been found again.  
  
„I brought it with me,” Jasper says, getting up to get the camera. Before his parents can protest he’s already heading off to the room he’s staying in, ready to grab the old camera to show it to his family. They’re going to love it, he’s sure.  
They do.

 

His cousin takes him out at night to see the stars. Jasper silently freaks out about the clarity of all the stars surrounding him. He’s recognizing so much his head is spinning; he really wishes Monty would be here with him. He’d point out constellations and be amazed; Jasper wishes there was a way Monty could see this.  
He hops out of the pick-up and gets his camera. He aims it at the sky, but the photo comes out wrong. He puts the polaroid in his back pocket anyway, saving it for later. He hums contently, looking back at the sky. He’ll figure out a way to give Monty the sky.

 

* * *

 

The last week away from home flies by; the Jordans are traveling the country, leaving their long lost uncles and aunts behind, ready to be lost for another four years. Jasper knows they won’t be visiting any time soon; they never do. Under the wheels of their car dust rises, until they reach a more sustainable environment, where the air is more humid and trees actually grow. They visit a cabin in the woods for five days; it’s the best five days Jasper’s had in a long time. There are a few other kids his age walking around the forest grounds: a lanky boy called John, and another boy called John, a younger girl named Charlotte who disappears after a few days, and two kids whose hands are always intertwined called Pascal and Trina. They aren’t really friendly, but they’re okay as far Jasper’s concerned. He’s to busy photographing most of the time anyway.  
At the fourth day, Pascal and Trina invite him to go explore the woods with them. To Jasper, it’s not an awfully weird thing: he and Monty go exploring all the time; the city, the streets, the suburbs. He follows the two into the trees, comes to a grinding halt when they suddenly stand still in front of them. He frowns.  
  
„Have a seat,” John, the darker skinned one, says. There’s a few logs set up in a u-shape, surrounding a fire which is burning even though it’s only 4 in the afternoon. They’re at a lakeside.

„Or don’t,” the other John snarks, grinning unpleasantly. Trina rolls her eyes at him, apparently not really caring.

„Ignore John II,” she says. Other John grunts.  


„Call me Murphy,” he says, looking sour. „What’s your name anyway?”  


„Jasper,” Jasper says, trying to sound as cool as possible. It doesn’t really work: he’s a bit intimidated by Murphy.  


„Welcome then, Jasper, into our circle of trust,” Murphy snickers. „You guys ready for a game of truth or dare?”  
There’s a collective groan coming from the others.

„It’s not like you can dare those two into doing anything remotely exiting,” John says, whilst pointing at Trina and Pascal and shrugging. Murphy sighs.  


„That’s true,” he says, „you guys stick together like glue. It’s disgusting.”   
Jasper frowns, eyebrows knitted in confusion. When Murphy sees this, he sighs again.

„They’re dating,” John states. Jasper looks at the two, suddenly more focused on every detail: their hands touching, fingers intertwined, Trina’s head resting upon Pascal’s shoulder. It’s like their linked together, arms wound by an invisible ribbon. It looks oddly normal.   
And then it does not.

„They’re kissing all the time,” Murphy says. John crinkles his nose in disgust, clearly recalling one of the times he saw the couple kissing. „It’s gross.”  


„Why?” Jasper asks. The concept of kissing is strange; pressing your lips against someone else’s to express your love. He knows it’s something people do; the movies, series, books, magazines, they’re full of it. Grown-ups seem to have this strange obsession with it. Jasper can’t imagine why. There must be much simpler ways to express your love. Maybe it’s the contact that counts. The closeness. The effort.  
There are a lot of other things you can put effort in, nontheless.   
Like taking photographs for your friend. Or creating a universe made of plastic stars.

„Because I want to,” Pascal says, smiling at his girlfriend. Jasper looks at the pair, recognizing the soft look shared between the two as the one his parents share; a gleam in the eye, a smile on the lips. A blush on the cheeks. Maybe it’s about a feeling, after all.

Jasper wonders what it’s like.  


„Because I want to, too,” says Trina, leaning forward. Pascal kisses her on the forehead.  
Jasper doesn’t know how to feel.

 

* * *

 

Monty is gone when Jasper gets back home. The Green family has left a couple of days early, erasing any time between travels and school the boys might have had. There’s a note on the doormat with some numbers and few words.

Call me. 

-Monty

Jasper dials the number before anything else.  
  
„Hey,” Monty exhales on the other end of the line. The phone only rang one time.  
  
„Hey,” Jasper answers, „I just got home.”  
  
„Sorry to miss you,” Monty says. He hadn’t wanted to leave; he had to leave too much behind. Monty loves the yearly camping trips with his parents, but it usually meant leaving his books, the swimming pool, the guitar- all the things he loved- for a while. His parents say it’s rewiring. Monty think it’s just mostly disconnecting. Even though he is exited to go camping with his parents, he’s really missing Jasper. This is the longest time they’ve ever gone without seeing each other.

He’s really glad he left the phone number before leaving.

„Sorry to miss you too,” Jasper says, „I got so much to tell you!” He pauses. „I want to know all about your summer.”  
  
„I want to know all about yours, too,” Monty says, sounding a bit sad. Jasper feels concerned all of a sudden, a need to cheer his best friend up washing over him.  
  
„Story-exchange when you get home,” he says, already planning a surprise, „I’ll bring cake, you’ll bring milkshakes. No parents, just us.”

He hears Monty hum over the phone.  


 

* * *

 

Monty starts writing a series of postcards. When he was at home and Jasper was away visiting family, he used to receive envelopes filled with polaroids every now and then. Every little photo has a small story scribbled on the back, sometimes just a few words, sometimes long phrases. The photos are scattered around his desk now, tucked in between books and leaning agains frames. Monty loves them to pieces.  
He’s never been good with words. Not in the literal sense: Monty has always been very precise. With his work, technology, his words. He never had any problems expressing how he felt, but he always sounded so mundane.  
He never sounded like poetry.  
Jasper sometimes sounds like poetry.  
Monty does his best to make the words come to life, describe his adventures as lively as possible. There’s a lot of adjectives, and an occasional doodle too, or illustration to help explain a situation. It’s not how he wants it, but he sends his postcards anyway.  
They talk over the phone. Not for hours, because the reception is bad and they are both doing a lot of things; celebrating summer, mostly. Monty goes swimming in the river with his mother. He helps his father cooking. They collect samples of plants and soil for Hannah Green’s Geology and Biology research at the University. Jasper sorts out the last of his polaroids, sticks some to his wall, drops the last envelope off at the Green family home.  
They have a good time.  
They still miss each other.

 

* * *

 

Monty is looking glorious.  
Jasper has never seen Monty look like this in his entire life; water is rolling down his back, suddenly muscled. Not the way it has been before. Good, non the less. Definitely good.

Jasper sucks in a breath when Monty turns around.  


„You want to join practice?” he asks. There’s only one week of summer left, and Monty’s trying to make most of it. He’s back on his swimming schedule, though. When Monty had asked him to come watch him practice, Jasper hadn’t hesitated and answered with a firm yes.  


„No thanks,” Jasper says, sitting as fully clothed as one can be in summer. He tries not to let his eyes linger, looks away when he feels he’s looking for too long.  


Monty smiles.  


„Okay,” he says before diving into the water again. Agile his body moves through the water, all lean muscles and movement. Jasper watches how a muscle in Monty’s back flexes, one he didn’t even know people had. He can’t quite phantom that this is the first time he’s seeing Monty in six weeks. 

They have changed, in the most superficial way; Jasper’s suddenly tall and lanky, slightly tan under a light sunburn, with a few freckles on the bridge of his nose. His hair has grown, now constantly sweeping in his eyes. He really needs a haircut.   
Monty has grown too, but not as much as Jasper has. Monty used to be the taller one, but that has changed now. He’s gotten more tan, too, from spending hours outside in the sun. His muscles are suddenly visible and he’s gotten stronger. His body feels less awkward than it did before, less uncomfortable. He’s growing into his skin.

Jasper notices the way Monty’s cheekbones stand out, suddenly more prominent, when the sunlight hits his face.  
He feels intimidated, but not quite. It’s just- _different_.

Zoe Monroe is swimming in the lane too, all powerful strikes and short movement. Their swimming technique differs, but Monroe and Monty are equals in speed. Jasper finds himself entranced, watching the water ripple time after time.  
He doesn’t want to join, though. He doesn’t like water, although he can’t fathom why. He supposes it makes him feel unsafe. He’s never been the best at swimming.  
Unlike Monty, as it turns out.

When practice is over, Monty’s hair’s still dripping wet. A droplet of water is running down his face, and before Jasper can stop himself, he’s already wiping it away.  
It feels weird.  
It shows on Monty’s face.

„Sorry,” Jasper immediately apologizes. His breath hitches, nervous that he might’ve done something wrong. He doesn’t want to screw up, but he’s a fright he might’ve.  
Monty just shrugs, and Jasper feels a wave of relief wash over him.

„It’s okay,” he smiles, „it was bothering me anyway.”  


„Good,” Jasper says, and Monty snorts.  


„You still like to see me suffer,” he says, looking at his best friend. There’s this strange sense of change between them, although neither can pinpoint  why. Monty grins.  


Jasper laughs, changing posture.  


Everything feels weirdly normal again.

„Yeah,” Jasper laughs, „same old, same old.” 

„Should’ve known you were a bit of a sadist,” Monty says.  


„Only when it comes to you,” Jasper retorts, giving Monty a little push. They’re sitting on a bench outside the swimming pool, melting ice cream dripping in their hands.  


„Ah, I see,” Monty says, „I’m the exception.”  


„Exactly,” Jasper smiles at his friend, „the only exception.”

 

* * *

 

The polaroids all end up at Monty’s wall.  
The postcards all end up at Jasper’s, above his bed.  
They both look at them before they go to sleep.

 

* * *

 

There’s this polaroid of Monty that Jasper can’t stop looking at, and he doesn’t know why. It’s the best picture he’s taken so far, for sure. Monty’s staring into space, sunlight warming his face. 

It’s peaceful. It’s warm. It’s everything Jasper wishes he was and knows he’s not.

That polaroid is the only one that isn’t up on a wall; Jasper keeps it with him, most of the time, together with a polaroid of him and Monty together, taken the last day of summer at Monty’s birthday. It’s a bright picture, all color and smiles. It’s the first picture in which Jasper is taller than Monty. Jasper loves it.  
Monty doesn’t get to see the photos, and it feels weird, for a time. But it feels like something so private Jasper doesn’t want to share it. The pictures are his and no one else’s. The memories are all his.

 

* * *

 

In biology, Jasper finds out Monty really likes birds. He’s confused by this new information for a moment, not knowing what to do with it. Monty knows quite a lot about birds; their anatomy, names, habits, habitats. It’s weird.  
It’s also really cool.  
Monty mostly blames his parents: what could you expect of a kid of a professor of Biology and Geology at the Uni (his mother) and a professional landscaper annex garden enthusiast? It’s his father who got him into bird watching; every now and then they get out of the city and into nature, lunching together and trying to find specific birds or recognizing birds from their sounds. It’s the best; his father’s enthusiasm is always contagious. Monty supposes that it’s a bit of a tradition too. He’s done this since he was little.  
He can’t remember he ever told Jasper, which probably is why Jasper’s looking very confused. Then he’s smiling, however, shaking his head.

„You miraculous boy,” he murmurs softly, not directed at Monty. „Of course. Of course.”

The teacher sends them a suspicious look.  


„You should come bird watching,” Monty says, „it’s fun.”  


„Okay,” Jasper says, sounding dubious. Their teacher gives them a stink eye.  


 

Dave and Monty Green take Jasper bird watching a few weeks later. It’s a nice day, not particularly beautiful, but the weather’s fine so no one’s complaining. Monty’s father has packed lunch, put it in a backpack. He’s fully dressed in hiking gear, just like his son. Jasper frowns a bit before looking at his own clothes, which are just his plain and normal clothes, a bit on the short side thanks to his growth spurt over summer. Monty’s father hands him an old pair of hiking shoes, which barely fit. They will do.  


„So,” Jasper says, „what does one do when bird watching?”  


„Watching birds,” Monty deadpans. Dave chuckles before explaining the whole concept of bird watching. It’s a long and lengthy commendation. Jasper’s soon distracted by everything happening around them; every small movement, every sound.  


He’s a bit anxious. He’s a lot excited, just like Monty.  


Monty has this small book with him, and a notebook full of names with dots and crosses. He explains to Jasper that the crosses mean that they’ve already seen and heard the bird before. Jasper admires the way the two Greens keep track of everything; he suspect he couldn’t have done that himself. They wander into the forest, surrounded by walls of sound and silence. For a while, they don’t exchange any words. Then Monty signals his father, holding a hand behind is ear, indicating he’s hearing a specific bird. Dave listens intently, slightly turning his head. He grabs his binoculars, pointing them in the direction of the sound. He gestures at Monty when he sees the bird, victoriously smiling and handing over the binoculairs.  


„Cool,” Monty murmurs while recognizing the bird. It’s a Wood Thrush sitting in a Red Maple. He turns to hand the binoculairs to Jasper, but Jasper’s nowhere to be found.  


„Oh no,” he says, his heart skipping a beat. He swallows hard, looking around intently. Jasper isn’t anywhere in sight. „Dad,” he asks, nervously, „have you seen Jasper?”  


Dave looks up, confused, then alarmed.  


„No,” he admits, sounding ashamed. „He never could’ve gone far.” 

They roam the forest, until they stumble upon Jasper, sitting on the ground and looking at some trees.  


„I couldn’t remember where I came from,” Jasper says shakily, turning a deep shade of red. „I got distracted by-„ he points at a tree opposite of him, where a single butterfly is resting. „I’m sorry.”  


„It’s okay,” Dave says, giving Jasper a small smile, „we got distracted too. Just try not to leave next time.”  


„Yes sir,” Jasper says, all awkward limbs and blushing cheeks, „I won’t.”  


 

* * *

  
„Since we’re going to high school soon, I have something to remind everyone of our undying love for each other,” Monty says, voice thick with sarcasm. He’s grinning, holding up a paper bag.

„Oh my god,” Jasper huffs, accepting the bag. „You’re such a dweeb.”  


„Caught me there,” Monty smiles, shrugging all casual. He watches as Jasper unwraps the present; a friendship bracelet bought at one of their local gift shops he visited with his mother. They had been looking for a gift for Leigh, but Monty knew as soon as he saw the bracelet he couldn’t let it just lay there. Jasper had have to have it.  
Ironically, of course.

„A- friendship bracelet?” Jasper asks, sounding more than confused. It’s a red woven bracelet, decorated with traces of gold. It’s actually fairly pretty. Jasper's already in love with it.  


„Yup,” Monty grins. Jasper looks at him, feeling his cheeks change color. There's a feeling he can't quite place, one that makes his breath hitch and his skin itch. He wants to move. He wants to _touch_.  


„Thanks,” he says, sounding surprised. Monty isn’t sure why.  


„No problem,” Monty smiles. „I’ll help you tie a knot.”

 

* * *

 

High school is new. The year has been full of changes, and Jasper can’t believe he actually made it.   
Monty can.  
They’re going to the same high school as Clarke, Bryan, Monroe, Harper, Fox and Wells. It’s a thing Monty and Jasper both find comfort in; at least they don’t have to stress about making friends along with dealing with new subjects, icky teachers and tons of homework. They are fitting in, not standing out. The school is so much bigger than either of them had imagined, looming over their heads every second of the day, like a warning. They grow used to it.  
Every day, the eight of them have lunch together. They don’t even know how, but they’ve managed to get a table to themselves. Sometimes they are joined by a few others, mostly for group projects. They never linger around much. 

Clarke’s the first to sign up for the student talent showcase thrown for the freshmen.  


„What are you even gonna do?” Wells asks dubiously. Clarke just smiles, relaxed and sure.  


„You’ll see,” she answers. „Anyone else joining?”  


Jasper shrugs. The only really interesting thing he can do is blow up a few things, but since that’s pretty illegal, he decides not to showcase that talent. He can run track, too, but that’s why he joined their high school track team. Monty’s in the swimming team, together with Monroe.  
Bryan looks at the list for a long time, but is moved gently aside by Harper, who writes down her name after reading the details. The others look at each other in silent confusion before Harper steps back to admire her name now written on the sign-up sheet.

„Hm,” she says, tilting her head. Then she shrugs, hooking her arm into Monroe’s.  


„You gonna sign up?” Wells asks Bryan, who slowly shakes his head.  


„I don’t know,” he sighs, „would like to, but I can’t think of anything yet.”  


„You’ve got about a week left,” Monroe shrugs, „you can always sign up later.”  


„Yeah,” Bryan nods. „Maybe I’ll do that.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed it, please let me know!


	8. Shining Bright [Spotlights] (Fourteen Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry for the time it took to finally update! This really isn't what I set it out to be, still a bit of a filler- I actually feel kind of bad for making this a Monty chap (as I already have fairly solid plans for the next chap, which will be another more Jasper centric chap), but I feel like this was important to Monty (even though it might've not been the...most emotional? chapter so far sorry)- I just really hope I can manage to write in more subtle nuances of Monty's feelings in the future.
> 
> That being said, the 14/16 chapters is just an indication- I have no idea how much chapters this fic is going to have. I really hope you enjoy this chapter despite everything  
> Again, English isn't my native language so if you find any errors, please let me know!

There’s a silent countdown to the Ark High School’s talent showcase. There’s murmuring in the hallways, an increasing excitement amongst pupils. They’ve seen the names, but haven’t heard the voices. Plans are being made in between classes. Rumours about crazy acts show up. Someone’s supposed to saw someone in half. Some say there’s a boy who will hypnotize the whole audience. There are talks about a group of girls doing a live wrestling act.  
The rumors are crazy. But then again, so are the high school students -at least a little bit.  
It’s the last moment Monty decides to sign up. He’s been thinking about it for a few days now; his birthday present this year had been an old -probably secondhand- guitar and guitar lessons. Monty had been over the moon, beaming brightly at his parents. He didn’t really tell anyone about it, just spend hours in his room practicing. He hadn’t told Jasper he could play guitar. He didn’t feel like he needed to.  
When his eyes scan over the paper, Monty sees that Bryan has signed up too. He writes down his name, quickly, then makes his way to the classroom for the last period. He makes it in just in time, nodding at Jasper who’s saved him a seat.  


„Thanks,” he whispers while taking place. Jasper eyes him curiously before smiling.  


„No problem,” he says, „couldn’t risk surviving World His without you.” He moves the goggles on the top of his head, readjusting them.  


Monty softly groans before getting his books. Mister Anderson was a total bore -even if Monty found that world history wasn’t that bad a subject, mr. Anderson still made him want to jump out the window and run with his arms wide stretched towards freedom. The only person who didn’t seem to feel this way about World His taught by mr. Anderson was Wells Jaha, who had an incredible and unexplainable talent for remembering dates and historical evens. Everything history was interesting to him. Monty was fairly sure Wells could manage to find a historic text about the first Norman invasion on Ireland in morse enjoyable.  
Him? Not so much.

When the tip of Monty’s pencil breaks halfway through world his, Jasper hands him a new pencil. Mr. Anderson carefully follows the movement with his eyes, then decides it’s not worth his attention. The boys don’t even stop to think of it; it just happens.

 

* * *

 

The clock was slowly ticking away the minutes leading up to the showcase. This is what Monty had been dreaming about. This is what Monty had nightmares about.

He isn’t afraid to go on stage. He is, however, afraid to mess up. There is nothing heightened about his fears; just regular teen angst about exposing yourself to others. He knew he was going to have to perform, because that’s what he’s signed up for. Voluntarily. In hindsight, it sounds like a less wise decision. But Monty figures that’s okay. He’ll perform anyway.

Monty thinks one of the greatest risks is his choice of song. He’s been struggling with which song too choose; some were plainly too difficult for his beginner’s hands to play, others did in no way involve a guitar (for example, his father’s orchestral records dating from the mid 60’s), and others just didn’t feel right. There was always a fine line one walked in selecting music for public events; there was an audience to be kept in mind. It was all so nuanced that it was easy to mess up big time- that is, if you cared about your audience in the slightest. Monty, as a slightly angst-y teenager, does. He finds no shame in it, just has to find the right way to twist it.  
So he does. 

The idea pops into his head right on time. Softly he is humming along to the radio while watering the kitchen garden, checking the plants. Its melody makes its way into his head, makes itself a home. Monty is content, like he is most days. His father sweeps in.  


„Ah, I love this song,” he notes. „You know, they played this at your uncle’s and aunt’s anniversary party. Everyone just started dancing, even your mother. I think she secretly loves it.”  


„Secretly?” his mother appears in the doorway. „Well, I’m not intending on keeping it a secret. It’s a perfectly fine, nice and happy song. I want it played at our anniversary party.”  


„Which one?” his father asks, a slight hint of tease in his tone.  


„Oh, you know, our marriage anniversary,” Hannah Green smiles.  
  
„So we’re throwing a party for that?” his father grins. He quickly turns to his son when he sees the annoyed look on his wife’s face. „How are the plants doing?”

 

* * *

 

A few days to practice is all he has. He doesn’t sweat it, because he knows he can do it if he puts his mind to it. So he does. Monty practices and practices until his fingers throb and Jasper starts to worry about him possibly being ill.

„Hey,” Jasper calls through the door. „Hey, Monts, you okay?”  
  
„Yeah,” Monty says, putting the guitar back in its case, then walking up to the door and opening it. „You can always come in.”  


„Yeah, I know, I just -uh- thought you might be gettin’ changed or something,” Jasper says, sneaking in through the small space between the door and the doorframe. He slightly ducks his head before sprawling out over Monty’s bed, ears turned a pinkishly red, as if he just thought of something embarrassing. His hands start to fumble with the hem of his shirt, not exactly moving, but not laying still either. 

„Hey, I’m the one who should be getting nervous,” Monty smiles, recognizing the small movement as a display of nerves. Jasper mostly fidgets when nervous, just a small change from his usual restlessness. Monty has learned to recognize it fairly quickly, even though it’s something subtly different, so if asked he couldn’t pinpoint precisely what it is. He just _knows._ Just like Jasper always notices when he’s feeling nervous.

Monty sits down on the other end of his mattress. They are two islands, and the sheets is their sea.

Jasper furrows his brows.

„Why?” He sits up slightly, looking curiously at Monty. Shit.

Monty hadn’t told Jasper about the talent show-case because it was supposed to be a surprise. A bearing of a secret to all.

„Ehm, well, with- school- and-„ Monty gestures awkwardly towards his body. Jasper’s frown deepens. Then he raises one eyebrow.  


„But you’re doing great in school,” he says, confused, „and you look great. Look at what all that swimming has done to you.” Jasper gives him a small smile. Monty would like to believe that he isn’t saying it out of pity, that he actually thinks he looks -rather sufficiently acceptable. 

For a moment, Monty is dumbfounded. He looks at his own arms. His biceps are now slightly more defined, but he doesn’t see the difference- he’s still just him. Not horrible. Not admirable. Just _Monty._

_„_ Are you terrified?” Jasper then asks, causing Monty to look directly at his friend. The question has caught him by surprise.  


„I don’t think so,” he says, honestly. Afraid, yes, but terrified? No.

Monty doesn’t think he’s made to feel terrified.

„Because I am,” Jasper then says. There’s a ca-clung in both their hearts, a moment of silence to echo the words that sounded an awful lot like the truth. Monty is quick to softly squeeze Jasper’s hand for a small lingering moment, before retreating, making two islands of them again.

„Does life terrify you?” Monty asks, curiously, worriedly.

„Only when it matters,” Jasper says.

 

* * *

 

The auditorium is packed. It makes Monty a bit more afraid, but only a little. It’s still not the stage he fears. The line-up’s pretty big; apparently this year’s freshmen are pretty enthusiastic about showcasing their talents. The crowd is pretty mixed; parents, seniors, brothers, friends, people from higher grades.

„I just hope they haven’t come to make fun of us,” Bryan sighs. He’s tugging at the hem of his sleeves, pulling them over his hands.  


„Fat chance,” Wells says. Clarke furrows her brow.  


„Time to kill it,” she then says, straightening her back. „I’m in fourth, I believe. Does anyone have the program?”

Wells hands her the program he snatched from a table at the door. Clarke gasps for a moment, barely audible. It has everyone looking up in surprise. Monty knows she must’ve seen his name in the booklet.  


„What?” Jasper asks curiously, trying to read over her shoulder. Clarke shoots Monty a quick look before answering.  


„Oh, I just noticed Bryan has signed up as well,” she says, casually. Bryan’s head turns an incredible shade of red in a matter of seconds.  


„Y-yeah,” he stutters, „I figured out what I wanted to do.”  


„Well, I’m looking forward to it,” Jasper grins, „now let’s get these asses some seats.” 

They walk up to the front row, which turns out to be incredibly convenient for both Monty, Bryan, Harper and Clarke. There are seats with a good view of the stage, easily accessible, which is nice. Clarke rummages through a bag before pulling out a handful of markers and a spray can. 

„Now you really got me curious,” Monroe says, following the movements and realizing what it is that Clarke is holding in her hands.  


„You’ll know soon enough.”  


„I’m counting on it,” Monroe smiles, and the lights dim, lighting only the stage. The whispers in the audience start to die down when a man appears on stage, grey-haired and with a bit of a beard.  


„Good evening, ladies, gentlemen,” he welcomes the audience, „and everyone in between! We’re here tonight for our annual freshmen talent showcase.” There’s a small roar from the audience as the man gestures with his hands. „I’m Marcus Kane, vice-principle and for your eyes only -your host of tonight!” 

There’s some more cheering.  


„Now, as stated, the showcase is a bit of a tradition. Every year the Ark organizes a variety of activities for its students, and the freshmen talentshow is usually the kick-off -just like this year. There seems to be a lot of spirit this year, so we have a beautiful line-up for you! To keep everyone awake we mixed the types of performances- can’t have you falling asleep as in the school benches!” Awkward laughter. It’s undeniable that Kane is a charming man, which helps the ease with which he’s presenting. „There will be one break which will allow you to refresh, grab a drink, chat up one of the contestants-„ a soft laughter emerging from the audience, „- or don’t.” Kane pauzes to smile at the people sitting in front of him. „Oh, I can see you guys are getting more impatient to just start the show, so here we go! Please welcome the first act of tonight: Finn and his Kazoo!” 

Before the audience has a chance to respond, there’s a sound like a fly trapped in an electric light, making at least one third of the audience stifle their laughter. Kane looks profoundly confused from the side of the stage. The sound goes on in various false tones resembling the 2000 century fox tune. Meanwhile, a boy with shoulder length hair calmly walks on stage, not doing anything special in particular. Then a track starts to play, switching to a more tense, uptempo beat. The boy -Finn- starts pulling around a few tables and large cubes, until he seems satisfied with the lay-out. There’s confused murmuring from the audience.

And then Finn runs. It starts out simple, jumping on the table, throwing the kazoo and catching it again. There’s a series of stunts and tricks surrounding the furniture, Finn moving quickly over the stage, with ease.

It’s nuts. It’s absolutely fantastic.

The act ends with Finn sitting on the centre table, finishing the 20th century fox tune with his kazoo. The crowd almost explodes when the music -and false kazoo-sound- has died out.  


„That was awesome,” Monty whispers to Jasper whilst clapping. Jasper whoops again before returning to clapping and answering.  


„Would you say…smawesome?” There’s a smile in his voice.  


„Absolutely,” says Monty, while Kane tries to calm the audience down and Finn clears the stage. There’s a big smile spread across his face. Most acts until the break jumble together, even though they all have to agree that Clarke has left a pretty rad impression with her speed-painting. At first, it didn’t really look like anything, but when she turned the painting upside down in the end to reveal it to the audience, it suddenly showed principle Jaha’s face. There was a collective gasp, small silence, then applause. The way it is most of the times.

Bryan’s the last act before the break starts, getting the difficult the task to keep the audience’s attention focused on him. He isn’t much of a presence on stage at first, announcing that he’ll be doing some slam poetry. He shuffles around, clearly nervous, then takes place behind the mic. There’s a switch, a flick. Although he still sounds nervous in the beginning, his stance is steady- there’s something intimidating yet open about it. Bryan’s radiating honestly while he spits his own truths, gradually getting more intense, making bigger gestures. The words bounce in Monty’s head while he feels his heart thud and thump. Even though he is last to perform, he’s already starting to feel his heart pounce in anticipation. Fear, nerves, but also hunger, a longing for the spotlight. Monty’d never thought he’d have it in him.

There’s a silence radiating the impact of Bryan’s words.

 

* * *

 

In the break Clarke’s mother comes up to them, a proud smile adorning her face. She gives Clarke a big hug, squeezing her arms around her daughter.  


„What a wonderful performance,” she says while holding her daughter. „I can imagine Jaha will be happy with the painting.”  


„Oh, I’m sure he will be,” Wells says, all polite smiles. Abby turns to hug Wells as well.  


„Good to see you Wells! Are you performing tonight?” Wells shakes his head.

„Oh well,” Abby releases him, then sees Bryan. „Bryan, what a vibrant and capturing performance. Maybe you can pitch something about slam poetry with your English teacher.”  


„Thank you, miss Griffin,” Bryan smiles shyly. „That sounds like a good idea.”  


„I’m going to hang around some other adults,” Abby smiles, eying Kane for a second before turning back to face her daughter. „We’ll meet up in front of the school when the showcase is over, okay?”

She gives Clarke another quick hug before disappearing, leaving her daughter blushing and slightly embarrassed.  


„One would think she has a crush on the presenter,” Harper says, sly smile on her face. Monroe elbows her lightly.  


„Harper!” she hisses. Jasper starts laughing. Monroe rolls with her eyes. Clarke just shrugs.  


„Well, it could’ve been worse,” she denotes. 

„Aren’t your parents here?” Wells asks Bryan, who nods. 

„They’re sitting somewhere in the back with my sister and Harper’s parents. Oh, and I think I saw Fox somewhere around there too.” 

Monty feels Jasper’s eyes on him.  


„You want to go see Fox?” he asks, eying his best friend carefully. Monty feels his heart beat loudly.  


„Yeah, sure,” he answers. It’s good to be outside. There’s a surge of nerves he wasn’t aware of before, making his breath unsteady. Jasper’s standing in front of him, face examining.  


„Are you feeling okay?” 

Monty looks at him, eyes darting. He takes a deep breath and then nods.  


„Yes,” he answers, „just a little warm.”  


„Well, you could always take off your shirt,” Jasper says with a small smile after giving Monty another once-over. Jasper still thinks Monty’s looking a little pale, but he decides to let it rest. He’ll just have to make sure Monty’s not doing too much this weekend so he can get a proper rest.

„Too enthusiastic,” Monty decides, fumbling with the sleeves of his black hoodie. „Wouldn’t want to distract the audience, now would we?”

„Very true,” Jasper smiles, punching his shoulder. „You should start by taking off your hoodie.”  
Monty raises his eyebrow.  


„Are you suggesting I take off more than my hoodie?”  
Jasper laughs, light and delightful. It clears Monty’s mind of worry, if only for a few seconds. He grins at his best friend.  


„Only if you’re feeling up to it,” Jasper wiggles his eyebrows playfully. Monty snorts before punching his friend in the arm.  


„It wouldn’t be that exciting,” Monty assures him, trying to imagine what would be exciting about taking clothes off when you’re all sweaty.

Jasper looks like he knows the answer to his question.

„I’ll believe it when I see it,” Jasper smirks, teasing. Monty huffs.  


„Well, keep on seeing,” Monty smiles, „you might start believing.”  


„You dweeb,” Jasper says, but there’s no venom in his voice. The crowd is slowly moving back into the auditorium, announcing the end of the break. The stage lights are turned on again, and Kane taps the mic, which gives a high-pitched noise that leaves everyone’s ears ringing. He clears his throat before speaking.  


„Welcome back, I’m sure we all enjoyed our break,” he smiles at the audience, one member specifically.  


„Ten bucks it’s your mum,” Harper whispers to Clarke, who softly snorts.

„We’re back with the second part of the show, with lots of acts. First to kick off are Atom and the Atomics!” 

Atom and the Atomics turns out to be a small band consisting of a freckled keyboardist, a kick-ass drummer who quickly braids her hair before getting her sticks, a curly haired bassist who wears her hair down, and a lead singer and guitarist probably called Atom. They have a very distinct sound, somewhere in between rock and punk, but pleasant non the less. Their energy is great; they’re radiant. Monty soaks it all up, nodding his head to the music. He thinks the drummer’s from their year, just like the singer. 

Next to him, Jasper is staring. 

The girl behind the drums is undoubtedly pretty, her brown hair tied back in braids, a slight tan on her skin. Her eyes have a subtle green hue over a light gray. She’s entirely taken by the drumming, radiant in a way Jasper has never seen a girl before. Fierce. Powerful. Electric.

But then- then there’s the keyboardist, dark brown eyes and dark curls and freckles all over his face, hands, arms. He’s older than the rest of them, that’s clear. He’s smiling, in a way that it’s clear he doesn’t know he’s smiling, eyes closed and soaking up ever tone they’re playing.

They’re absolutely stunning.  
Jasper doesn’t understand.

Atom and the Atomics are great, there’s no other way to put it. Monty decides it’s one of his favorites halfway through their performance. They all look so natural, like they’ve been doing this for years. Performers. Musicians.

Monty likes the sound of that. _Musician_. 

Harper is next to perform. She smiles at Monroe before she starts, translating music with her body. It’s some kind of modern dance, and it’s absolutely stunning. Monty does think it would look better on a different stage, but it’s alluring all the same. She dances to a song by Sia, filled with piano and bewitching voices. When Monty looks to see what the other think of it, he is greeted by Jasper’s gaze, who’s looking slightly confused but impressed at the same time. Monroe’s intently watching every move, her eyes never leaving Harper; Monty thinks she’s holding her breath, but he’s not sure. Harper ends on the ground, as intended. She emerges like a phoenix from the ashes to receive her applause. There’s a series of acts after Harper, too, in varying degrees of quality. There’s this one girl trying to sing some kind of opera song, and Monty’s pretty sure his eardrums start to bleed halfway through. When he looks at Jasper, he knows he’s feeling the same way. 

„Thank you, Ashley, for that wonderful performance,” Kane looks around a tad bit awkwardly as he clears his throat. „Sadly, it’s already time for our last performer tonight. Please welcome on stage: Monty Green!”

There’s a surge of applause from the audience. Monty gets up, heart pounding. He misses the incredulous look Jasper sends him. He misses the surprised whispers of his friends. Suddenly he starts to doubt his choice of song, but there’s no turning back now. This is the moment he’s feared. This is the moment he has been waiting for.

He walks up the stage, spotlights bright and blinding. His rusty guitar feels heavy but familiar in his hands. 

There’s a barstool set in front of the microphone. All spots are pointed at it. Soon Monty’ll be shining brighter than the northern star.  
Jasper notices.

Monty starts out with a simple picking, just playing the melody. He then starts strumming, preparing himself to start singing. The first note comes out a bit squiggly, unsure, but soon his voice steadies. Around him there’s radio silence. Inside him there’s nothing but white noise. 

„Don’t try to fight the feeling, ‚cause the thought alone is killing me right now,” Monty sings, letting himself cherish the moment. The heat of the lights, the absolute silence. Nothing but music, no one but him. The crowd catches on to the chorus. What starts out as a slightly weird yet funky pop-record turns out to be a great acoustic cover. The audience loves it; they are glued to Monty’s honey-lit voice and smooth bedazzling of the strings. Monty’s on fire.

The applause rings in his ears as he gets up to put away his guitar. He lets out a breath, happy to have not completely failed. His fingers feel numb from playing, a light tingle is spreading beneath his skin. When he’s walked of the stage, Jasper flings his arms around him, almost crushing him. 

„You stupid, marvelous boy,” Jasper murmurs in his ear before letting go. „How could you keep thát from me?” He sounds astounded. His eyes are lit by an incredible astonishment. He’s beaming with pride, heart swelling at the sight of his best friend.

„Wanted to surprise you,” Monty says modestly.  


„ Well, you did!” Clarke says. „That sounded great!”

„Yeah,” Monroe says, „I didn’t know you could sing as well.”

„Hm,” Harper says, stretching a bit, not really meaning anything by it. She leans into Monroe, arms touching. Nobody says anything about it.  


Jasper doesn’t ask Monty to play him a song. He wants to, but he doesn’t want to get in Monty’s face about his newly revealed talents. Jasper- Jasper can’t describe how it felt to see Monty up that stage, lit by the spotlights, shining brighter than the stars seen from his roof. Even though Jasper has heard Monty’s voice for years, he was still taken aback by his singing voice. Jasper feels like he shouldn’t be this surprised.

He is, however.

The evening sticks to both boys for very different reasons. Jasper’s merely blown away by all the talent. Monty keeps replaying the warmth, what it was like to be on stage, what it was like to experience that evening with friends. He didn’t think he’d like it so much, but then he does. He’s thrilled. He’s starry-eyed. He’s alivealivealive.  
Jasper notices.

 

* * *

 

„Hey, you’re the one who covered Outkast, right?” A girl with long brown hair walks up to Monty, friendly smile on her face. She sticks out her hand. „I’m Octavia, drummer of Atom and the Atomics.” 

„Monty,” Monty shakes her hand, „you were-„  


„Absolutely kicking ass,” Jasper compliments her, suddenly appearing at Monty’s side.  


„Thanks,” she smiles at him. Jasper’s smile turns all goofy. 

„Jasper Jordan,” he introduces himself. „Monty’s best friend.”  


„Octavia Blake,” she says, „Bellamy Blake’s sister.” 

„Bellamy?” Monty asks, not sure if he recognizes the name.  


„Yeah,” Octavia answers, „my brother’s the keyboardist. Gina’s our bassist, and Atom’s our lead singer and guitarist.” She looks at both the boys.  „You can come and watch practice if you like. Bells says I need more friends anyway.”  


„That’d be great,” Monty smiles, feeling oddly honored by her invitation. He looks to Jasper, who’s now turned a deep shade of red. When Monty elbows him softly, he nods, agreeing.  


„Lovely,” Octavia says, „repetition starts after the last period on thursday. I’ll hit you up with the room.”  


„Sure,” Monty smiles at her before she walks away. She waves at the two boys standing in the hallway. When she’s disappeared, Monty turns to Jasper, eying him suspiciously.  


„You like her?” he straight-out asks. Jasper clearly hasn’t been expecting this and starts to stutter.  


„I- I don’t know,” he says honestly, because he has no clue. It’s not like he has been warned about feelings. Sure, there’s all this stuff on TV and in  books, but it doesn’t quite tell you how to deal with it. Or how to know what you’re feeling. He looks at his friend, an unknown feeling washing over him, much like nerves, but twisted. Distinct. Different. 

He swallows.  


„She seems like a nice girl to me,” he finally formulates, eyes darting across the hallway. Monty feels like there’s something that Jasper’s holding back. One look, then he nods.  


„Yes,” he agrees, „she seems like a nice girl.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for a rough impression of the possible version of Monty's cover, here's a link!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c745E7T_Wvg
> 
> also, if you enjoyed this chap, please let me know!


	9. Rhinestone reveal (Fifteen Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter! It's a bit more Jasper-centric, but less than I expected, so that's nice I guess? It's not how I planned it out to be, but I think I should be getting used to that by now. This chapter is mostly set during the summer Monty turns 15 and has been written in the middle of the night (honestly it's about four in the morning) so if there are any errors, I'd like to know!  
> Have fun reading!
> 
> next up: maya vie, driving, a slightly weird taste in music, and a party (also, Harper/Monroe becoming a real Thing)

At night, Jasper lies awake. The summer air is humid around him, a slight breeze coming through the open window, causing the curtains to stir. It’s hot. It’s frowst. 

It’s not what’s keeping Jasper awake.

In the past year he and Monty have been getting into the habit of watching the band practices of Atom and the Atomics, making their homework and voicing their opinions when asked, getting milkshakes and fries afterwards. Ever since Octavia had invited them that faithful day it’s been a date for them. Thursdays were for band practices and greasy diners, for noise and laughter. They’ve bonded pretty well.  
Jasper thinks that he might’ve had a crush on Octavia. At the very start, the early days. Octavia, with her fire and decisiveness and her quietly bright mind. Jasper remembers what it was like seeing her for the first time, up on stage covered in light. There might’ve been a beat of his heart, but he doesn’t recall- he just knows that the moment he saw her, it was _something_. 

Something can be very confusing.

There was a lot of stammering and blushing and nervousness. That might’ve been an indication of a crush, Jasper supposes. It’s how TV describes it. It’s what you see in the movies and read in books. Heat rushing to your cheeks, breathtaking beauty, a lot of stammering. In books, love is awkward. In movies, love is smooth. 

Jasper feels like life’s more an in-between. 

Octavia might’ve been the first person he felt attracted to. He doesn’t know for sure; it was such a swirl of emotions that he can’t recall feeling them at any other time, because he can’t recall the exact feeling. He just recalls it being there, knowing he felt something. Whatever it was, it was a very fragile, barely tangible thing- it was gone before he knew it. Jasper can’t pinpoint the exact moment the sweating stopped and the semi-forced laughter changed into genuine laughter, because there was no exact point. It was very gradual; realizing Octavia was human, realizing he had no intentions of dating her, realizing that Octavia was a great friend- realizing Octavia and Atom were great together. The more they got to know each other the more comfortable they became around each other.   
While Jasper’s lying in bed it comes rushing to him; Octavia Blake, the afternoons with AatA, the diner at which Monty always orders the banana split. There’s a lot of smiling and stupid jokes and genuine friendliness. When he thinks of it, his heart is pounding.  
And this is what is keeping Jasper awake at night.  
For whom is his heart pounding?

 

* * *

 

„Hey Jasp, do you want to watch Star Wars?”

„Huh?” Jasper looks up, tearing his gaze away from his socks, today decorated with Shrek and Darth Vader. They’re both staring at him and are profoundly mismatched.  


„Well, since it’s raining outside,” Monty says, rolling on to his back on his bed, „we should watch Star Wars.”  


„Which one?”  


„All of them?” Monty looks hopeful at his best friend, who is wiggling his toes. It’s summer, officially, but you can’t tell by the weather. Thick droplets of rain are smashing against the window of Jasper’s room, wind howling outside. It’s one of the summer storms, the first one of this year. Monty doesn’t think it’ll get better any time soon; storms like this keep on raging for days at a time.   
He should probably stay the night.  


„Okay,” Jasper smiles, turning around on his office chair. „So the Original Trilogy?”  


Monty smirks. „Well, there’s enough time for the prequels-„ Jasper makes a face, „but we’ll stick to the OT.”  


„Sounds like a plan,” Jasper smiles at his best friend, getting up. He puts on his ridiculous pair of Homer Simpson slippers, then proceeds to take out the Chewabacca slippers he keeps around for Monty. He tosses the pair towards Monty when he walks past the bed, grabbing a hoodie even though it’s not that cold. As is their tradition, they start off with huge mugs filled to the brim with hot chocolate and marshmallows and whipped cream. Norah is silently humming while Jasper puts on one of the DVD’s. Monty’s already sitting on the couch, legs pulled up, hands folded around the mug. Jasper joins him, makes himself comfortable. It’s the twelfth time they’re watching the movies; Jasper doesn’t really mind, even though they’re not his favorite movies. He’ll watch whatever Monty’ll watch. 

 

Halfway through the movies his thoughts start to wander. The rain is pouring outside and his father has joined them, completely engrossed by the scenes playing out on the screen. He’s not that different from Monty, who’s never able to tear away his gaze from the TV whenever Star Wars is on. Jasper lets his eyes wander, studying his friend, who still has his hands clamped around his mug, now empty and stained. They’re sitting next to each other, but aren’t touching. It feels odd.

Jasper wants to touch.

He shoves the thought -possibility- aside and moves his gaze. The rain is thick against the window, leaving streaks and trails. There’s a lot of noise surrounding them, but every human is quiet. The sound of the raindrops splattering against the pavement is barely audible in the background, but Jasper knows it’s there. If he listens closely, he can hear it happening, the moment that the drops hit the ground. It calms him. He doesn’t know why he needs to be calmed. 

The rain doesn’t remind him of anything. He just thinks and thinks and remembers, then remembers some more. Them being twelve years old, watching Star Wars for the first time. The first plant Monty grew in his garden. Walking into high school. Meeting Clarke. Seeing Octavia. Stracciatella and ice cream dripping down cones and swimming pools. Endless summers.  
Jasper hopes this is going to be an endless summer.

 

* * *

 

„Monty,” Jasper suddenly asks, startling Monty, „do you think we can join band practice next year?”  
Monty nearly chokes on his drink.  


„You mean with instruments?” he asks, frowning. Can Jasper play an instrument? Was there something he had not been noticing?  
Jasper shakes his head, and Monty feels a slight wave of relief wash over him; at least he hasn’t missed some crucial part of Jasper being Jasper. He almost immediately feels bad about feeling relieved, because why would it be a big deal if he didn’t know about Jasper’s musicality? 

„Oh,” Monty then says, look questioning. Jasper’s looking at nothing in particular, sunken in thought as he has been frequently lately. Monty wonders what is bothering him, but he doesn’t feel like it’s the right time to ask; somehow, he senses Jasper might need some time. That’s okay. „Why?”  
Jasper tears his gaze away and looks straight at Monty, catching him by surprise. Jasper’s surprised by his own directness, feels his breath hitch as he looks straight into Monty’s eyes.

His eyes dart away. Jasper shrugs, looking at his socks. Two different types of Harry Potter socks today.  
„Just wondering,” Jasper answers. „Kinda enjoyed it last year, with O and the others.”

„Don’t want it to change,” Monty finishes his thoughts, then smiles. Jasper nods, smiling back. He sighs dramatically before saying:  


„We should probably just ask, right?”  


„Probably,” Monty agrees, gently pushing his shoulder against Jasper’s. He hears Jasper chuckle and feels light for a moment. Their arms are touching. They’re sitting in Monty’s garden, watching the leaves rustle in the wind while the sun is sluggishly kissing their skins. It’s a lazy afternoon mid-summer. They’re both content.

 

* * *

  
A soft ‚plock’ against his window wakes Monty up. It’s the one at the side of his house, the one opposite of the one on the side of Jasper’s house. It’s not where Jasper’s room is, that’s what Monty knows. Come to think of it, he doesn’t know what room is behind that window. There’s a soft yet loud cursing outside, like a loud whisper. He moves out of his bed, opens his window at the exact moment there’s something coming his way. Monty quickly ducks, only to hear more cursing. Cautiously he looks out the window, only to find Jasper leaning out from the window opposite of him.  


„What are you doing?” Monty asks, eyebrows raised.  


„Just,” Jasper grunts while getting something from behind the window, „doing- wait- just a- got it!” 

A second later there’s something flying towards Monty, only to crash down and end up on the ground. Monty raises his eyebrows higher, then laughs. Jasper looks a bit disappointed, then sighs.  


„I’ll get it, just give me a sec,” he says, disappearing, only to appear on the ground in between their houses a few minutes later. „Stay there!” he yells to Monty.  


„Wouldn’t dream of leaving,” Monty answers, now grinning. He has no clue what Jasper’s trying to do, but he just knows it’s going to be good. „You alright there?”  


„Dandy!” Jasper replies, folding something he know recognizes as paper. 

„No way,” Monty softly murmurs.  


„Incoming!” Jasper warns while throwing the piece of paper through the window, now fumbled together. „Thanks for opening the window, by the way.” He throws another object through the open window before disappearing again.  


„Hey, where are you going?” Monty asks, but Jasper doesn’t reply. The window is still open.

Monty unfolds the paper, curiously reads it. There’s nothing more than ‚ _Test 1_ ’ written on it. Monty gets a sharpie and adds ‚ _failed_ ’ to the paper, then throws the paper back into Jasper’s house. While he silently wonders where Jasper could’ve gone he picks up the second thing that came flying through the window. It’s quite light in his hands, packed in newspaper with a piece of string around it. It reminds Monty of the Philosopher’s Stone in Gringott’s Vault. When he unpacks it, a shimmering rhinestone the size of a plum appears. There’s a note tucked underneath it.  
‚ _As a dear friend of mine once told me, the only way to really impress an otter is to give them your favorite rock._ ’

Monty snorts, then writes a quick note, reading: _Jasper Jordan, are you implying I am an otter_?

He then looks up to see Jasper standing there, a grin spread across his face. Monty smirks and folds the note into an paper plane. It glides through the air effortlessly, arriving safely at the other house. Jasper reads it, frowning, face scrunched in concentration. A strand of hair escapes from behind Jasper’s ears. He snorts when he reads the message, looks at Monty, then says, with a straight face and complete serious tone: „yes.”.

„Aha,” Monty says, „so you’re trying to impress me?”  


„Not trying,” Jasper says, „I’d say you’re pretty impressed.”  


„Not by your paper planes,” Monty laughs when Jasper tries again to throw one to Monty, and fails, miserably. He shakes his head, disappointed. 

„Gotta work on that.”  


„I’m coming over,” Jasper announces. He shuts the window before Monty can protest. Quickly Monty puts on a pair of sweats, rhinestone in his pocket. Jasper’s already barging in by the time Monty decides he wants to move downstairs. He’s panting.  


„Sorry,” Jasper mumbles, lying down on Monty’s bed. He pants for a few minutes, then sits up. „So, airplanes.” He looks at Monty, eyes wide, mischievous glint in them.  


„Paper planes,” Monty corrects him, sitting down at his desk.  


„Same difference. Where do we start?”  


„Paper weight,” Monty says, grabbing some pen and paper.  


„The ideal material, right,” Jasper nods. „Smart, too” he smiles at Monty. They spend the whole afternoon redesigning paper plane after paper plane, testing and trying then testing some more. At the end of the evening their trials are complete. Jasper’s has run back and forth between their houses a couple of dozen times, throwing and retrieving their test subjects. Paper plane number 32 is the definite winner. Jasper picks up the object, then takes a golden sharpie and writes ‚ _success_ ’ on its wings. He holds up his thumbs to Monty before shutting the window again, turning around.  


„Son,” his father asks, sitting behind the desk of the small study, „what are you doing?”  
Jasper shows the plane to his father, who smiles at the sight.  


„Looking good,” he says, turning the office chair around. He has been working in the study since dinner, rounding some things up for work. He takes the plane into his hands and studies it. „Sure better than the ones I made when I was a kid.” Joseph sighs, then hands the plane back to his son. „You staying home tonight?”   
Jasper just shrugs. Teenagers these days, Joseph thinks before nodding. „Well, I’ll see you in the morning, I assume.”  


„Sure,” Jasper says, smiling. „I’m going to head over to Monty’s.”  


„Well, at least I’ll know where to find you. Try to get some sleep tonight, school’s starting in a few weeks. Gotta have a nice sleeping schedule by then.”  


„There’s at least one week left before I should start to worry about sleep,” Jasper says, sounding awfully chipper. He smiles at his father when he sees the look he’s sending. „But I’ll try. I’m pretty tired anyway.”  


„Hmhm,” Joseph mumbles, turning to get back to work. „Goodnight son. See you in the morning.”  


„Sleep tight dad,” Jasper says, „don’t go to bed late.” This earns a laugh from his father. „Remember I can see you working.”  


„If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was a warning,” his father laughs.  


„What, a warning from your own son? Pfah! Don’t be silly.” Jasper smiles as he walks out the study, making his way downstairs. He gives his mother a fierce hug.  


„I’m going to Monty,” he tells her. She ruffles his hair.  


„Okay dear,” she says, still hugging her son. „Try and get some sleep.”  


„You sound like dad,” Jasper accuses, and his mother laughs. Jasper can feel her laughter.  


„I’m glad,” Norah says. „Bring Monty with you tomorrow, I’ll bake him some cake.”  


„I will. He’ll love it.”  


„Oh, I know,” Norah says, „my cakes are fantastic.”  


With that she releases her son, waving a small goodbye. Jasper walks out of his house and into Monty’s, paper plane clutched in his hand. He puts it on Monty’s drawer before lying down on his bed.  


„My mother tells you to come over tomorrow,” Jasper says, propping his arms behind his head. Monty’s sitting on the other side of the bed, pinching Jasper’s toes. Jasper pouts, bats with his eyelashes until Monty stops. Monty’s grin is mischievous, but he can’t say no to those doe-eyes begging him to stop pinching.  


„Okay,” he says, getting up to close the door. He looks at Jasper, who’s in his sweats and looks like he isn’t going to move at all. He stretches, and there’s a strip of skin showing Jasper feels he shouldn’t be looking at, but still is. Monty closes the curtains before turning off the big light. The only source of light now is coming from the constellation lamp on his bedside table. Monty watches for a moment as Jasper’s eyes light up traveling from projected star to projected star.  


„This is the coolest thing ever,” Jasper states, and Monty quietly agrees.  


„Early birthday present,” he says, walking up to the bed. „Scoot over.” Jasper moves a few inches, making room for Monty, who lies down next to him.  


„Remember this constellation?” he asks, pointing to Ursa Major. Jasper smiles, following his finger.  


„Of course,” he says. „How could I forget?”  


Now it’s Monty’s turn to smile. He shrugs, enjoying the view for a moment before realizing he’s still got the rhinestone in the pocket of his sweats.  He pulls out the object, holding it up whilst looking at in. The light bedazzles the stone. When he turns to look at Jasper, he notices that his friend’s eyelids are fluttering close. He puts away the stone and pulls the covers over himself. Jasper stirs, turning towards Monty. Monty turns towards Jasper as well, so that they’re now lying face to face. Jasper’s breath hitches, but Monty doesn’t notice. 

_They could kiss_. 

For a small moment Jasper thinks his heart might skip a beat, but then it’s gone. There’s a nervous flutter, although he doesn’t know if it’s a cause or a result of something. He puts it away, saves it for a rainy day. He’s too tired to think about it.  


„Jasp,” Monty whispers, having turned off the constellation lamp. The sudden darkness surrounds them. „Did you know that sea otters hold each other’s hands when they nap so that they don’t drift apart?”  


„Hm,” Jasper mumbles, already half asleep, neither confirming nor denying his knowledge of the fact. Instead, he takes Monty’s hand, falling asleep, mumbling: „we better not drift apart then.”

 

* * *

 

„You’re coming to band practice right?” Bellamy asks the first thursday of the new school year, walking up to Monty and Jasper in the hallway. They’re standing next to Clarke and Wells, discussing the layout of the presentation they will have to do for English Lit. At the sound of Bellamy’s voice both Jasper and Monty turn around.

„Of course,” Monty assures him, while Jasper merely nods.  


„Good,” Bellamy smiles at the two. Jasper doesn’t look well, a bit pale, his usual smile missing. „Are you all right, Jasper?” Bellamy honestly sounds concerned, and although Jasper feels like that shouldn’t surprise him, it still does. Between them hanging out together on thursdays and the first day of school, nothing much had happened. He feels strangely honored by Bellamy’s concern, even though they barely know each other at all.  


„Yeah,” Jasper says, finding his voice again. His eyes flick from Bellamy’s lips to his freckles to his eyes, and he manages a smile. „Just a bit startled.”  
It’s a lie and they all know it.  


„Alright,” Bellamy says, „take care of yourselves.” He smiles shortly at them before turning around and walking away. Monty sends Jasper an asking look, which is conveniently dodged by looking at their schedule.  


„Was that Bellamy? As in, Bellamy Blake, keyboardist of Atom and the Atomics?” Clarke asks as soon as she’s sure he’s out of earshot. She sounds incredulous.  


„The one and only,” Monty says. Wells looks slightly impressed.  


„Octavia’s sister,” Jasper says, before realizing his mistake. Clarke looks confused, then starts laughing. Monty just grins at him while Wells snorts.  


„Well there’s a surprise,” he says while packing his books. „Let’s go to the cafeteria. It’s pizza day.”  


„Shit,” Jasper curses, „we’re late for pizza day!” He looks at the others before deciding. „I’ll get the pizza. See you in a few!” He disappears into a crowd of students.  


„Did I just see Jasper rush through an entire layer of freshmen to get to the cafeteria?” Monroe asks, appearing next to them.  


„Yes,” the whole group answers in unison. Monroe shakes her head.  


„That really shouldn’t surprise me by now,” she says, joining them as they make their way to the cafeteria. „By the way, Monty, is there any chance you have any ibuprofen? I’ve got this killer pain and I can’t find my usual painkillers.”  


„Give me a second,” Monty says, rummaging through his bags. As soon as he and Jasper had noticed the pain some people suddenly could get into, they started carrying painkillers. It was something they always had with them, earning them a bit of a reputation. Most people just heard Jasper and Monty always got pills, while in reality they just wanted to help out those in need- mostly girls with cramps, or guys with killer headaches from whatever foolish game they had been playing. Monty was well-aware of the rumors going around. He had to admit he found it somewhat amusing, all these people just assuming they were some kind of underground drugdealers.  


„Here you go,” he says, handing Monroe his strip of ibuprofen. She gladly takes it, pops one pill and swallows it chased by water. They join Bryan, Fox and Harper, who already got pizza. They shuffle around until they all fit. Monty gladly takes the piece of pizza Jasper offers him. 

Monty knows almost immediately after he takes a bite that something is wrong. He starts to wheeze, breathing shallowly. It’s like his first asthma attack all over again. He hasn’t had this in years.  
He feels like he might be dying.  
Jasper hears Monty’s wheeze, drops his pizza and immediately reaches for his bag.  


„What is happening?” Fox asks anxiously while Monty’s starting to have trouble breathing.  


„Are you okay?” somebody asks, and Jasper resists the urge to answer. He grabs the inhaler and hands it to Monty, who’s looking particularly grateful.  


There’s a moment of silence, and then Monty’s breathing again.  


„Thank God for Beta adrenergic agonists,” Monty says, still trying to catch his breath. He smiles at Jasper. „Thanks.”  


„No problem,” Jasper says.  


„What just happened?” Bryan asks, slightly confused. 

„And where did you get that from?” Monroe asks.  


„Allergic reaction,” Monty answers. „Pineapple.”  


„But there isn’t any pineapple on your pizza?” Fox asks, frowning.  


„There must’ve been,” Monty concludes.  


„I specifically asked for a pineapple-free piece,” Jasper sighs, but Monty can hear the underlying anger in his tone. „Must’ve though I just dislike pineapple.”

„Do you always carry it with you?” Fox asks Jasper concerning the inhaler. She sounds incredulous.  


„ Of course,” Jasper says, as if it’s the most obvious thing ever, while in reality it’s really not.

Jasper, who managed to forget five books in their first week of school, who regularly forgets to bring a bottle of water, who can make a pen disappear after looking at it for one minute- that Jasper, fast-paced, good-hearted, chaotic Jasper, always carries his best friend’s allergy medication. It’s a hard concept to grasp. The others understand, though. Wells would do the same for Clarke, and Monroe’s pretty sure she would do the same for Harper too. 

They are intertwined. Thinking about it, it’s weird not to think Jasper would carry Monty’s medicine with him. They are a three-legged creature after all, unbreakable, unshakable. There hasn’t been a time that they were Monty and Jasper. They _always_ have been Monty-and-Jasper.

 

* * *

 

They are sitting at the greasy diner when Jasper realizes a few crucial things. First of these things is that he, indeed, had a crush on Octavia Blake. He only knows this because of Harper; a few days ago she came up to him, telling him she might have a crush on someone. There was a list of feelings she described that sounded an awful lot like what meeting Octavia Blake had felt like. Jasper and Harper had been sitting outside the ice cream parlor downtown, enjoying their ice cream and milkshake. Jasper had listened carefully, and then, when Harper had asked if that was how a crush was supposed to feel like, he had nodded his head, carefully answering, „I think so.”.  
Because after all, that’s how it’s described, isn’t it?  
A flutter of heart, a sweating of palms, a skip and a crash and a boom. A lightning strike when they smile. A rush. A tingling. Seeing a person and feeling overwhelmed, intoxicated.

Maybe wanting to kiss. Maybe just wanting to touch.

Harper and Jasper are sitting at the greasy diner when they both realize a few crucial things. One of these things is that Harper is inevitably, undeniably having a crush on her best friend since childhood, Zoe Monroe. Another of these things is that she has no clue what to do.  


„Shit,” Harper softly curses. She bites her lip, starts to brainstorm. Jasper looks at her, then looks around the diner. He spots a familiar figure walking in, beaming brightly at him. He feels his heart stutter, smiles back, heat rising as the person approaches. While he looks at the freckle-faced boy, he recognizes the feeling.  


„Shit,” he agrees, before he smiles back at Bellamy, who holds up his hand in greeting. He then proceeds to walk over to the table where Octavia’s sitting. Harper makes a sound, and Jasper looks at her.  


„I can’t just ask her out, can I?” she asks, although she doesn’t sound like she actually wants an answer to that question.  


„Why not?” Jasper asks, trying to calm his own racing heart. He already knows the answer.  


„Dive right in?” Harper considers it for a moment, playing out different scenarios. She shakes her head. „Doesn’t feel right. I need something good, something nice. Preferably subtle.”  


„Give her a rock,” Jasper advices, and Harper straight out laughs. He smiles at her.  


„Why would I do that?” she asks, almost crying now. Jasper’s glad for the distraction.  


„Isn’t that what otters do? Give each other awesome stones to show their love?”  


„I honestly wouldn’t know,” Harper says, smiling, shaking her head in disbelief. She then looks at Jasper. „However,” she starts, light twinkling in her eye. „I think I might have an idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed it, please let me know!


	10. Car Radio (Sixteen Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it took me a bit longer than anticipated to finish this chapter. I had a bit of a block at the start of it, but I somehow managed to end up with almost 1000 words more than usual, so I hope you guys enjoy it! 
> 
> I'll probably have to warn for underage drinking in this chapter, and I suppose descriptions things breaking? As for the ages, they're both sixteen in this chapter, except at the summer party, at which time Jasper's just turned seventeen. Now I have to say I have no clue how parties work in the USA and how it's with alcohol and underage drinking, but from my experience I'd say there are parties with sixteen/seventeen/eighteen year-olds involving alcohol.
> 
> Please let me know if there are any errors, in grammar or in spelling, and have fun reading!

Monty first sees the look on Jasper’s face when they’re out eating dinner at the greasy diner. There’s a girl with brown curls and a lovely smile waiting their table. She seems lovely. It doesn’t sit right with Monty.   
Her name tag reads Maya and Monty sees the moment Jasper notices -really _notices_ \- her. He’s going soft around the edges. It’s not like anything Monty has seen before. Enchanted, he thinks.  
Maya seems lovely. But something doesn’t feel quite right.  
Jasper and Maya end up dating. It’s a change Monty knows would have to come sometime, but hasn’t really thought of it. He doesn’t want to. It’s not a particularly bad change, either, it’s just different. Jasper radiates, and Monty feels sad, even though he doesn’t know why. He should be happy for his best friend. He is, rationally. He’s just not able to actually feel the happiness for his friend.  
He tells himself it’s because he’s used to having Jasper around. He tells himself that it’s just because he has never seen Jasper’s love projected on another person than himself. Monty wonders if this is what it looks like to the outside world, heart eyes and warm smiles, blushes and pie shared. He tells himself he just needs some time. Maya’s a wonderful girl, anyway.

 

* * *

 

His guitar has always been a comfort. His music has always listened; it’s something that hadn’t changed in four years. Monty thinks about joining a band. Monty thinks about writing an album. He’s decided on weekly jamsessions with Monroe. Sometimes Octavia joins them, bringing about her rhythms. They don’t really speak. They just play.  
It’s a strange wonder of the notes interlinking them. Monty smiles.  
How easy it is to lose your mind.  
There’s this opportunity to join a music class, so Monty does, together with Monroe and Harper. It’s fun; every time they’re encouraged to pick up a new instrument. Monty loves it. He learns to play a bit of keyboard, although the keys don’t feel the same under his fingers as the strings do. Smooth, tender. Monty doesn’t know if he likes it, but it keeps him busy.  
Monroe picks up an electric guitar, then continues to pick up a violin and play it flawlessly. The whole class stares at her, slack-jawed. It’s Harper who first jumps up and starts applauding.  
  
„That was amazing!” she tells her best friend, smiling brightly.

„My parents had me and Eli take lessons since we were little,” Monroe says, „I switched to guitar when I was ten.”  


„I remember,” Harper tells her, and Monroe blushes. Monty knits his eyebrows in confusion. He doesn’t recall knowing Monroe played the violin. Monroe and Harper look at each other for some time before Harper goes to sit behind one of the keyboards.  


„I’ve always wanted to play the piano,” she muses, while idly touching the keys, „or violin.” She smiles at Monroe.

„You can learn,” Monroe says, „I can teach you.”

 

* * *

 

„You should’ve seen her, Mont,” Jasper smiles. Monty lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling covered in stars.  


„Hm,” he says, and for a second he’s afraid he sounds disinterested. He hears the turing of the office chair behind his desk. Jasper’s twirling, sighing.  


„She took me to this weird gallery,” Jasper tells him, „and there was this painting, I think it was called ‚the second circle of hell’, and it had all those grey people being sucked into a spiral or something. It was creepy and weird, but also- tragically beautiful?” 

The twirling stops.  


„Tragically beautiful?” Monty asks, „Like aliens?”  


„I suppose?” Jasper thinks about it for a moment. „Aliens would be kinda creepy and weird. Just like the painting.”  


„You should show me the painting sometime,” Monty mumbles absentmindedly.  


„Yeah, my description doesn’t do it justice,” Jasper agrees, „you’d have to see the weirdness yourself. I’m not sure why Maya likes it.”  


„She likes hardrock as well,” Monty notices, „maybe she likes it because it’s weird.” He turns his head towards Jasper, before adding: „Just like you.”  
Jasper snorts.

„Thanks,” he smiles, before furrowing his eyebrows. „Monty Green, are you suggesting Maya Vie only likes me because I’m _weird_?”

Monty shrugs, a small smile gracing his face. 

„Dunno,” he says, „am I?”  


Jasper shakes his head whilst laughing out loud.  


„I like you because you’re weird,” Monty then says, turning his gaze back to the ceiling. It’s the truth. Jasper’s laugh softens, just like his eyes.  


„I like you because you’re you,” he answers, looking at his best friend gazing at the ceiling. He lets his look linger.  


„Me too,” Monty concludes, pointing out constellations in his head.

 

* * *

 

Jasper was fifteen when he and Maya started dating. He is sixteen now. It is not so much an observation as a fact, something that suddenly pops into their heads. Monty doesn’t know what to do with the information. He feels like he isn’t entitled to missing Jasper, yet he does. He tells himself he isn’t allowed to.

Something is stirring. It’s not just Jasper and Maya, or the weather, or schoolwork, or the monster Monty’s made hidden underneath his bed. It’s not just a rumble of skies and a thunder of hearts. It’s being restless all over again and again. There’s _something_ stirring, but they don’t know what.

Wells asks Clarke out, and she agrees, even though they find out after only one date that it isn’t going to work. It’s okay, they figure. Sometimes people aren’t made for each other. They are content they explored the possibilities, and it’s okay this way. Clarke’s being pulled in about twenty different directions regarding her feelings. Wells shrugs it off and walks his dog, acknowledging that a relationship isn’t a thing he’s looking for right now. He dives into his studies, continues with his endless list of extracurricular activities. He’s busy, but very happy. 

Just like Monty. And Harper. And Monroe and Jasper and Fox and Bryan. 

Bryan joins the drama club, together with Fox. Neither Monty nor Jasper has Bryan seen so radiant before.  


„You guys should come and watch the play,” Bryan tells them, grin bright. „We’re playing West Side Story.”  


„Oh, I loved that movie when I was a kid,” Harper sighs. „I’ll be coming for sure.” She looks at Monroe, questioningly, then at the others. „How about you guys?”  


Jasper shrugs. „I suppose.” He looks at Monty.  


„Of course,” Monty says. 

„Well, as I am in decor design-,” Clarke smiles without finishing her sentence.  


„I was being forced by my father anyway,” Wells says, „better to go with a group of friends.”  


„Hey, we could totally ask if Octavia’s coming too, maybe invite the whole band,” Jasper’s face lights up as he looks at the others.  


„That would be awesome,” Bryan agrees. Fox smiles. The bell rings, signaling that it’s time to go to class.  


„See you guys tomorrow,” Wells nods before heading off.  


„Don’t have too much fun in Chemistry class,” Clarke says, „I’d like to come back to an actual existing school tomorrow.”  


„Ahw Clarke,” Jasper pouts, „I’m just trying to make most of my time here.”  


„So am I,” Clarke says, „I just want that time to last longer than today.”  


„I actually wouldn’t object to the school disappearing,” Monroe sighs before getting her backpack from the bench. She takes Harper’s hand before dragging her towards the Chemistry lab.  


„Guess that’s our call,” Monty says to Jasper, waving goodbye to the others. They walk side by side, footsteps echoing in the hallway. 

„Hey Jasper,” Harper says when he and Monty have caught up with them, „you think there’s any chance you and Maya will let me and Monroe tag along sometime?”  


„Tag along to what?” Jasper asks, at the same moment Monroe stops in her tracks to ask: „Are you asking me on a date?”  
There’s a silence following, in which the hallway echoes through their heads. Monty’s heart stutters. Harper rapidly turns pink, starts stuttering.

„Well, they just visit a lot of museums and since you like- things from- the past I-„ Harper splutters, eyes darting across the lockers, then back to Monroe. She sighs. „Ehm, well, yes.”  
Monroe blinks for a moment, then turns to hug Harper.

„Yes,” she breathes, „yesyesyes.” She looks Harper in the eye. „I’d love to go on a date.”  


„Double-date?” Jasper asks uncertainly, sounding slightly confused.  


„Not to ruin our fun, but we’re going to be late for class,” Monty notices after looking at the clock on the wall.  


„Sure,” Monroe nods. There’s still a blush on her cheeks. She looks at Harper, who can’t stop smiling. They rush into the Chemistry Lab.

 

* * *

  
At night, Monty lies awake. The winter air’s cold around him, the cold air creeping in through the cracks in his windowsill. He’s shivering underneath the covers. He has an algebra test tomorrow.  
  
It’s not what’s keeping him awake.  
  
His parents had thought him how to drive a car. He’s got a job now, working at a second-hand store which mainly sells books and records. It’s dusty and dimly lit, but it smells like books and they’re playing the records his father usually plays. He knows the place from when he was young, because his father used to take him there. It’s quiet.  
  
Unlike home.

Monty sometimes wonders if the buzzing in his head is a result of the buzzing at home. He sometimes wonders if the stirring is a result of the stirring at home. He sometimes wonders if-   
He sometimes wonders.

It’s strange how you don’t notice some things until someday you do. And then you can’t un-notice them. It’s how it went noticing that Jasper was fifteen when he’d started dating and is sixteen now, a strange sense of time passing. It’s how it went noticing Octavia and Atom were growing more and more distant. It’s how it went noticing everyone was dating and excelling and changing, but he was staying the same. Monty feels like he’s stuck in a time loop everyone’s dancing around.  


Shouldn’t he have had a girlfriend by now? Or been interested in someone?  
Thoughts like that were always pushed aside violently. Monty tried to shrug it off, telling himself that whatever would happen, would happen. In the hallways he hears people bragging about having sex. Monty wonders if it’s really that important. Then he ignores it, focusing on music and actual classes and his grades. He wonders if there’s going to be any parties soon, and if he will get invited to them.   
He actually gets invited.

The air is crisp and cold and getting under his covers. Monty Green shivers.  
It’s not what’s keeping him awake. 

Monty Green thinks he might be thinking to much. He tries to lull himself to sleep, repeating lists of information he has to know for class, repeating the algebra. It doesn’t help. After all, it’s not really his mind keeping him awake, not this time.  
There’s a lot of noise downstairs. Monty thought he’d get used to it, but he still hasn’t.  
Funny how you start noticing things and can’t un-notice them. Like subtle back-stabs in everyday conversation. Like one broken plate lying desolate in the sink. Like hurtful truths hurled at a stage-whisper.  
Of course the yelling is harder to ignore. The crashing of plates and other service breaking. The slamming of doors. Monty turns around, putting his pillow over his head. When will it stop?  
Another porcelain cup shattering. Monty’s heart speeds up. Maybe he should check up on his parents. Maybe he should-

„You leave Monty out of this, you hear me?” Not a yell. Not a whisper. Monty stills.

Footsteps coming up the stairs. A silent closing of doors.   
Monty is afraid. He does not know what the remainder of the year will bring, the last few days leading up to Finn’s New Year’s Party. He’s hoping for some peace and quiet, but the truth is that Christmas has never been this empty.  
Monty twists the gemstone in his hands before putting it on his bedside table again, thinking of otters and others. When he finally falls asleep, it’s to the sound of crying.

 

* * *

 

_You’re coming to the party tonight, right?_

Monty’s phone bleeps. The phone which he’d gotten for Christmas, a fancy and expensive sleek thing in a smooth black which lighted up every time you touched it. An empty gift. A useful, but very empty gift. He’d thrown a paper plane towards the open window at the side of Jasper’s house.  
His phone bleeped.  
Monty takes his phone out to respond.

_Yes_

A second later he gets a response.

_Good :)_

He sighs, rubbing his face with his hands. A new year’s party at Finn Collin’s house. Or, better put, his parent’s mansion. His parents were in Geneva for the holidays and had decided to leave Finn to take care of their house. Of course this meant throwing a Christmas dinner (which had turned out to be a christmas movie marathon with cheap take-out) and a New Year’s party.

Rumor had it there’d be booze. Rumor had it there’d be fireworks. Rumor had it.

Monty idly wonders what to wear, letting his mind travel through his wardrobe. He can’t decide to go casual or chic, so he ends up with a denim button-up with short sleeves on a pair of semi-khakis. He throws on a hoodie as well, just in case he’ll get cold. 

Jasper walks into his room as he’s getting dressed. Monty only then notices the silence in the house, knowing immediately that his parents must’ve gone out. He makes a mental note to check the fridge for any messages possibly left by his father or mother. Jasper grinds to a haltin the doorway as he looks up to see his best friend shirtless. It’s already dark outside, the light on the ceiling spreading a golden glow across Monty’s skin.  
Sometimes, Jasper forgets the amount of muscle Monty’s gotten thanks to swimming. There’s a split second before Monty turns around at the sound of his arrival, muscles in his back flexing as he shrugs on his shirt. While buttoning up his shirt Monty looks at Jasper, who only needs a few moments to make his eyes wander from Monty’s abs to his neck. Jasper blinks, and then his eyes are on Monty’s.

„Sorry,” he breathes out, still standing in the doorway. Monty raises a single eyebrow.  


„Why?” he asks, trying to ignore the feeling coiling at his stomach. Jasper’s eyes dart to the polaroids on his wall, then shrugs.  


„Didn’t know you were changing,” he says, eyes moving back to Monty. Slowly, a small smile starts to tug on his lips. Monty is struggling to get the shirt buttoned up. „Should I help?”  


„Hm?” Monty blinks, focusing his gaze on Jasper while still trying to close the buttons. „If you think you can do it better.”  


„Well I’m not too sure about the better part,” Jasper says, walking up to Monty, „but quicker? Probably. Or more sufficient.” 

Monty’s arms fall to his side as Jasper moves his hands up to close his shirt up. Jasper desperately tries to ignore how close he is to touching Monty’s torso, tries to ignore the heat of his skin radiating through the shirt. Around them, there’s silence. Jasper is well aware of his breathing, the beating of his heart, the way he’s slightly taller than Monty. He’s also aware of the moment his thumb brushes over Monty’s chest bone, before stepping back only a moment too quickly.  


„Thanks,” Monty says, softly. „You want to get some pizza before the party?”  


„What time is it?”  


„Jasper Jordan, since when do you need to know the time before deciding if you want pizza?”  


„I don’t,” Jasper smiles at him. „I’ll always get pizza. I was just wondering.”  
Monty states the time before taking out his phone to order pizza.

„Isn’t Maya coming?” 

Jasper shrugs. Monty doesn’t ask.

There’s a note stuck to the refrigerator, reading: _off to aunt Angie. Left money for pizza_. Monty frowns, but doesn’t say anything. He wonders if he’s been left behind.  


„Sweet,” Jasper says as he notices the money. He looks at Monty and sees a glance filled with void. „Should I put on A New Hope?”  
Monty blinks a few times, reconnecting.

„Sure,” he answers, nodding. Jasper’s wearing his goggles, he notices, mixed together with a long-sleeved button-up from which the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and jeans. It’s an odd combination.

It fits Jasper.

Jasper shrugs off his shoes before sitting down on the Green’s couch, legs stretched out. He reminds Monty of Newton, the cat. His left sock is a purple one, decorated with yellow-pink planets, and his right sock is a purplish navy decorated with yellow stars. Monty’s impressed by the matching of themes. 

„I can drives us to Finn’s,” Monty proposes. Jasper shakes his head.  


„Nuh-uh,” he says determinately. „It’s not like we’re getting home before tomorrow morning. Also, both your parent’s cars are gone. You don’t have a car to drive.”  


„Yet,” Monty says, sitting down on the other end of the couch. Jasper raises his eyebrows. „I don’t have a car to drive _yet_ ,” Monty repeats, stressing the last word. „I will when I’ve saved enough money by working, around the summer.”  


„You’ll have to take me on a road trip then,” Jasper says, starting the movie they know neither of them is really going to watch.  


„Okay,” Monty agrees, looking over at his best friend. „I’ll take you on a road trip.”

 

Jasper has noticed the vacant stares in his friend’s eyes. He has noticed the absent-minded reactions, and the declining talkatively when they’re together. 

Jasper worries.

It’s only yesterday he had heard the screaming coming from next door, when he had lain awake feeling all jittery and full of expectation. He still can’t believe he’s actually invited to a party of someone outside their inner social circle. 

His first reaction had been to go check up on Monty. In fact, he’d been standing at the door when his mother had come downstairs, dressed in her bathrobe.  


„Jasper,” she’d said, tired eyed, „they’ll be fine.”  


„But I heard-„  


„I heard them too,” Norah was smiling, but it didn’t reach her eyes. „Please come back inside.”  


Jasper closed the door again, but only because he trusted his mother. He knew she’s close with Hannah. She’d know what’s up. Jasper turned around, turning off the lights in the hallway.

„I’ll check up on them in the morning,” his mother promised. „You worry about Monty, okay?”  
Jasper had nodded before heading upstairs again.

Something was happening. Something was changing.  
It isn’t just the new year coming, Jasper can tell. It’s all starting to feel different. Monroe, Harper, high school, home. The neighbourhood. Maya. 

„Monty,” he says, looking at his best friend, staring off in space again. Monty awakes. 

„Yeah?” Monty asks, blinking with his eyes. Jasper lets the moment linger, possibly a second too long. There’s a way the sun catches his eye, coloring it a deep brown which doesn’t remind him of anything but still means everything called warmth.  


„You can tell me anything,” Jasper says, shifting. „You know that, right?”  
Monty nods.

„It’s a rock fact,” he mumbles happily, smile tugging at his lips. Jasper snorts.

„I love it when you talk cartoon to me.” The doorbell rings.

„Well, who can resist a good Over The Garden Wall reference?” Monty says, getting up. „Not me.”  


„Should I pause the film?” Jasper asks, almost yelling.  


„Nah,” Monty answers. He accepts the order from the delivery gal, pays her before thanking her and shutting the door. Jasper immediately sits up, the smell of pizza prominent. His stomach growls. His mouth is starting to water.  


„Finally,” Monty says before folding out the box. He picks up the biggest piece, taking a big bite before making a moan-like noise. Jasper laughs, clear. „So good,” Monty states, back leaning against the grey couch in his living room. The pizza box is stacked upon the glass table. Jasper takes a slice of pizza too, makes noises that vastly agree with Monty’s statement.

 

* * *

 

„No, that’s not-„ Monty sighs, wondering why exactly he’d promised to teach Jasper how to drive. Monty’s already got his drivers license, but that probably shouldn’t have equaled teaching Jasper how to drive. He takes a deep breath, turning towards his friend. „Are you familiar with the gear shift?”

„Oh, you mean the PRNDL?”

Monty groans. 

Jasper grins.

„Just kidding,” Jasper says after a few minutes. He notices that Monty’s suppressing a smile. „I know what a PRNDL does.”  


„I hate you,” Monty huffs, after which he rolls his eyes.  


„No you don’t,” Jasper reminds Monty. „I gave you a rock.”  


„You gave me a rhinestone.”  


„A shiny rock,” Jasper decidedly grins, because he knows how to annoy Monty. Monty choses to ignore him.  


„So the gearshift is located to your right. The letters on it stand for park, reverse,-„  


„-neutral, drive, low,” Jasper finishes his sentence. Monty nods. He continues explaining the inner workings of a car to Jasper, making sure he doesn’t hit anything, or accidentally breaks something. It’s not that bad, actually. Monty’s not a bad teacher, and Jasper’s not that bad of a pupil. 

He’s a bit tense, yes, but who wouldn’t be?

Teaching Jasper how to drive is one of the most relaxing things Monty has done in a while. For three months, most of their sunday afternoons are spend like this: Monty driving one of his parent’s car towards a more desolate road, a dusty parking lot, with Jasper beside him and the absolute worst music blasting through the speakers. And by absolute worst, he means absolute best.  
They’re always singing along, because nobody else will hear them.  
Jasper’s actually not that bad a singer.

„Monty,” he says, getting into the car one sunday afternoon in April, „I got this song you need to hear.”  


„Bring it,” Monty says, allowing Jasper to put his phone on speaker before they take off. Jasper fumbles with his phone before finding the right song.  An organ starts playing, and Monty furrows his eyebrows. Sometimes, he wonders where Jasper hears this kind of songs. The organ continues playing, and just as Monty’s about to mouth ‚what the -‚ an acoustic guitar starts strumming. Jasper moves his shoulders up and down to the music, one by one, and stills when he starts singing.  


„Well I guess it would be nice,” he sings, wiggling his eyebrows to the music in the small break, „if I could touch your body, I know not everybody’s got a body like you.”  


„Wait a second,” Monty murmurs, replaying all songs he’s ever heard before. „I know this one.”

He starts nodding his head.  


„Oh but I need some time off, from that emotion,” he joins Jasper, turning the key in the ignition. Underneath them, the car comes to life. „Some time to pick my hear up off the floor.” 

„And when that love comes down, without devotion,” Jasper continues, his fingers drumming on the dashboard.  


„Well it takes a strong man baby,” Monty sings whilst turning right, „but I’m showing you the door.”  


„ ‚Cause I gotta have faith,” they sing in unison. Monty shakes his head.  


„This is the worst,” he says, still humming along. Jasper laughs, turning of the song and turning on the radio.  


„The absolute worst,” Jasper agrees, but he’s smiling.

 

* * *

 

Monty receives a cake when Jasper passes his driver’s test. His phone bleeps five times, indicating that there are five unread messages. Maya’s there, together with Jasper, ringing the doorbell of the Green’s house. Monty opens the messages, then the door.

They are all smiling brightly.

„Congratulations!” Monty says, hugging his best friend. Maya puts the cake on the countertop.  


„We were thinking of going to the greasy diner to celebrate,” she says, smile soft, just like her face.  


„I wanted to round up the others,” Jasper says, „Maya though we should probably inform you first.” He sends a loving smile her way. Monty pretends he doesn’t notice. „As you are the one who mostly taught me how to drive,” he finishes his sentence. Maya blushes.  


„Common sense,” she shrugs it off, but you can tell she’s flattered. 

„Thank you,” Monty says to Maya. Her smile widens.

„I’m sending out a mass text,” she announces. She hits a button, and a second later Monty’s phone bleeps again.

_Dinnerparty at the diner :)_ it reads. She beams.  
Monroe and Harper arrive some time later than the others. Their booth is stacked, with Bryan, Octavia, Monty and Jasper, and Monroe and Harper now joining. Bellamy has to work, just like Clarke, so they’re not able to make it. Wells is grounded, although no one can fathom why. Fox’s got gymnastics. Maya’s shift at the diner has just started, so she’s waiting their table. Harper leans her head against Monroe’s shoulders.

„So,” Bryan starts, „is there any occasion for this special dinner party?” He looks around the table expectedly whilst slurping his milkshake.  


„I passed my driver’s test!” Jasper announces, smile bright, face proud. Monty can’t help but to look at his friend, who’s almost levitating. There are a few cheers and congratulations.  


„Way to go, Jasp,” Octavia bumps his shoulder supportively.  


„Cool,” Bryan notes. They spend their afternoon eating fries and drinking milkshakes, laughing and throwing the occasional frie at each other. Monroe and Harper start to shift, fidget nervously. Monty notices. He raises a questioning eyebrow before Harper clears her throat.  


„Ehm, so we,” she looks at Monroe, „wanted to tell you guys something.”   
Heads are curiously turned.

„Harper and I,” Monroe starts, then looks briefly at the girl next to her, „are dating.”  


Jasper immediately cheers, whooping a bit loudly.  


„Awesome!” he says, nodding approvingly, „I’m happy for you guys.”  


Both girls’ faces are filled with a raw happiness. Their cheeks are red, their fingers laced together. Monty can’t help but smile.  


„If anyone’s getting nasty about it, just tell me and I’ll punch them in the throat,” Octavia says. „That is, if you don’t want to punch them in the throat.”   
  
 

* * *

 

„My parents are getting divorced,” Monty says. It’s the first day of summer, and it’s very hot outside. They’re sitting in Finn Collin’s garden. „At least, that’s what I think.”

He feels lighter now he’s said that.  


„Maya and I broke up,” Jasper announces. He doesn’t feel any lighter.  


There are no bad feelings, though.   
Just things he doesn’t want to face.

„Oh,” Monty says, staring straight ahead, not knowing how to respond. He takes a sip out of the red cup that’s filled with God knows what. „That’s rough, buddy.”  


„Are you quoting Zuko?” Jasper asks, incredulous, but at least he’s smiling.  


„Maybe,” Monty smiles, shaking his head. He downs the contents of his cup, a burning feeling left in his throat.  


„Dweeb,” Jasper murmurs without any bitterness. Behind them, there’s a party going on.  


„Hey guys!” A girl with big eyes and brown hair approaches them. „You’re not missing out on the party right?” She tugs them to their feet. „This way to the start of summer!” She leads them inside, where it’s packed with people.  


„Raven!” they hear Finn shout. „You brought them back! Pour them some drinks!”  


„Sure thing!” Raven replies before disappearing into the crowd. She comes back with two cups filled to the brim.  


„Go easy on this,” she instructs them. „Try and have a good time!”  


„Will do!” Jasper tells her, smiling. He raises his cup to toast with Monty, then downs half of it and starts coughing. „Man, this is horrible,” he says, wiping the tears from his eyes.  


„Told you to go easy on it!” Raven yells from across the room. Monty downs the liquor. He gets his cup refilled. Again. And again. And again.  


At the end of the night, the room is but a blur. There are a lot of bodies dancing, and there’s lots of laughter. Jasper and Monty find a couch to sit on, resting against each other. The music is loud, but then again, so are the fights between his parents. This is a far more pleasant loud noisiness. Jasper outstretches his arm, looking at his hand.  


„Monty,” he says, „have you ever noticed how we don’t have fins, or webbed feet or hands?”  


Monty laughs, because no, he hasn’t.  


„Hey, Jasper,” he says, body sacked against the other boy’s. „Did you know I’m not a vampire?”  


„How’d you know?” Jasper asks curiously and surprised, moving his arm around Monty, mindlessly.  


„I can still see my reflection.”  


„But when will your reflection show who you are inside?”  


Monty just grumbles, vaguely recognizing the reference, suddenly aware of their closeness, of all the possibility. It has his heart racing, although his mind is dull. He moves, nose pressed against Jasper’s neck for a small moment.  


„It tickles,” Jasper giggles, and Monty snorts.  


„Sorry,” he says, trying to sit up. His hands search support by resting on Jasper’s shoulders, which are more muscled than Monty’d expected. 

„Nice,” he mumbles. The party is pounding around them, music blasting, people laughing. Monty has long stopped trying to figure out how he got here or where he will end up. All he knows is a slow dizziness and a dull rush inside his body. There’s a tingle in his fingers and his chest and in his lips.   


Would his lips still tingle if they touched other lips? Is that what kissing does? Make you tingly like champagne?    


Maybe he should find out. Maybe he should try it sometime. Maybe he should-

Monty thinks he might be kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please let me know!
> 
> Also, the song Jasper showed in the car was 'Faith' by George Michael, which can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ISHYtccEs0  
> also, Over The Garden Wall (which is a lovely series by the way!) it's a rock fact https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJp6NRq_ZmA


	11. Theme Park Tickets (Seventeen Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again this chapter took longer than expected- BUT! It's about 500 words longer than the last chapter, which was about 1000 words longer than my average chapter. So while the update might have taken a bit longer, there's more to read as well- woohoo! 
> 
> This is still completely unbeta'd, so I'd like to hear it if I made any mistakes.

They don’t talk about it. 

Jasper sometimes wonders if he’s imagined it. After all, he had his fair share of drinks that night. He was swimming in his head, a soft drowsy feeling washing over him. He had been in peace a way he hadn’t expected to be. There were no rational thoughts, only _want_ and _need_.

He had been craving for so long he hadn’t noticed he’d been craving.

He still wants to touch. Fingers on skin and arms and legs entangled and holding hands, like they did when they were young. Jasper inevitably feels stupid for having such childish longings. He can’t shake the feeling that he’s _wrong_. Things like this weren’t supposed to happen. There wasn’t supposed to be a click or a boom or an _anything,_ not when it came to your best friend. Maybe not wrong. Just not how they were supposed to be.

Not the thing you imagine when you are younger, not the kind of crush you fantasize about when you’re younger. Not the kind of love you’d expect to find or want.

Monroe says they should blame the media.

Harper quietly agrees.

 

* * *

 

Jasper his fears are rooted in more than just feelings. Nowadays it feels like he is seven years old again, all nerves and jitter. He has always been jittery and anxious -mere fundamentals, nothing to be worried about. But now- he can’t place it. It’s a different kind of nerves. The type that makes it hard to stomach your fears. Jasper’s afraid.

He doesn’t want high school to end.

It’s inevitable, and Jasper knows it. How afraid had he been ten years ago, with school starting again. Fears of not being good enough, not smart enough. School would always be a long line of grown-ups waiting to judge you, your very worth determined in grades. It isn’t that he’s brought up with those ideas, those standards, but he feels it nonetheless: you need to meet standards. How afraid he now is, senior year at his door. Everything is coming to an end.  
Jasper wishes to get out of his head. 

He turns and his breath hitches. He remembers his fingers touching and touching and touching, and then he remembers feeling like his throat was being clenched. He had been seven years when he embodied these kind of nerves.

Ticking, there was always some kind of ticking. Jasper hadn’t controlled his gestures at the time, still doesn’t now. He’s sitting restless in his room, thoughts racing. Would they talk about it at all?  


„Are you allright?” his mother calls from the garden. Jasper nods, shortly. He needs to get out of his mind.

„Just thinking,” he answers before walking out the front door. One foot in front of the other. He knows where he is going. He remembers the first time arriving there. ‚Take me anywhere,’ Jasper had said, and so Monty had done just that.

_Anywhere._

Hideout. Hideaway. Askew. Old and worn. Somewhere. Anywhere. Anyplace. 

Their place.

Jasper is sitting in the tyre swing, wishing Monty’d be there, cursing himself for wishing anything at all. Monty’s at the swimming pool, still practicing, even after all the years. He still loves the water, and the water loves him back. It’s a love even Jasper couldn’t defy, he thinks. He can try, though.

His mind wanders.

Finn’s end-of-year party had been a tangled mess of music, people shouting, and red cups filled with liquor. Fact was, Monty and Jasper had ended up on the couch. Fact was, Jasper had had his arm around Monty. Fact was, Monty had laughed into Jasper’s neck and made his skin prickle and his breath hitch and his heart thump. The facts were blurry-lined and slightly tainted, but facts nonetheless. Monty had grasped Jasper’s shoulders and Jasper’s mind went racing drunkenly, endless circles of _touchtouchtouch_. It wasn’t the first time he’d wanted to touch, to make his fingers meet with skin; Jasper remembers some time ago, can pinpoint little things, pick them out. No one had told him that this was what love would feel like. 

Maya had tried, he thinks. He felt it with her too, a brand-new desire, a curiosity. Had been easy to place, too. Society told him. This was how he was supposed to feel.

Fact was, that Jasper and Monty had been in a constant state of touch that last hour. Fingers, limbs, feet. Only one finger or whole bodies. Subtle yet obvious. Jasper had felt it in every fibre of his being, vibrant. Alcohol-induced, he didn’t stop to think about it. It had been a game of give and take. Until-

Wind brushes against his skin, making the hairs on his arms stand up. Cool, the wind. Fresh in the hum of summer air surrounding him. Jasper’s eyes dart from the tree bearing his weight to the picket fences and the all too familiar window.

A rock. He had given Monty a rock.

Jasper shakes his head, swings, restless. He doesn’t know if Monty remembers. He doesn’t know if he’d been swimming in his head too; if he’d been good at it, like he was good at swimming in water. Could he slice through blurs of memory like he sliced through water?  
Jasper doesn’t know. There’s no given, nor a fact or an indication. Things are the way they are, like they had been for a long time. Restless. Changing. Rumbling.

Fact is, nothing stays the same. Fact is, it’s summer now.

Fact is, Jasper Jordan has a huge crush on his best friend since childhood, Monty Green.

And now he knows.

 

* * *

 

Monty has always loved summer. He reckons it’s mostly because of the time he got to spend exploring the streets with Jasper when they had been younger, which expanded to the neighborhood and then the part of the city in which they lived. They had always been on the run, but at home with each other. As much as they were a part of the streets, the streets now were a part of them too. They had grown, fallen, gotten up again here.  
Monty’s going to miss it when he’s going to university. He isn’t exactly sure what he will study, but he knows he wants to study. His parents saved up for it.  
His parents.  
The fighting hadn’t stopped, not really. There still was a lot of it, just on a more hushed tone. His parents try to be discreet, but it’s all in vain. Monty’s hearing every word.  
Monty loves the summer. Not only because he gets to spend his time exploring, but also because maybe he gets the time to escape. No school. No obligations. Only music, laughter and molten ice cream. Bonfires in Monroe’s backyard after a day at work. Rosy cheeks and rustling leaves. In summer, it’s all good. Or at least -he can pretend.

 

* * *

 

Jasper gets a job. It’s surprising even to him, but he can’t complain. It’s a good job, the hours are decent, the pay is fine. It keeps him busy. It’s not like he had wild plans for the summer anyway; almost everyone has got a summer job. Meeting up mostly happens at night. Making money’s always good. Previous years he’d managed to get a few chores, small jobs here and there. He’s been saving up for a few years now; he wants to be able to pay for an apartment about the time he’s in college. Of course it’s not a certainty, but Jasper likes to think it is. It’s nice to have the illusion of a future.

The job isn’t rewarding, special, anything one would dream of. But for now, it’s enough. The days tick away at their tragic pace, slowed by the summer heat and lack of customers. A few more seconds in existence, a few more heartbeats to think. What if, what if?

Jasper’s phone bleeps, even though he’s not supposed to have his phone with him. He looks around the store, which is desolate and empty, then checks his phone. It’s the ‚kids from the block’ chat.

Bryan: BBQ at my place tonight. Introducés r welcome :)  
Harper: what kind of word is ‚introducés’ even  
Fox: it’s summer bry. why must u torture us with fancy words?  
Monty: companions  
Bryan: ^ you can bring those  
Monroe: interesting? got anyone in mind?  
Wells: I CAN COME  
Bryan: LEAVE DIANA AT HOME  
Clarke: :)

It’s only the last bit of chat Jasper really reads before typing a quick response. The doorbell rings and he quickly puts his phone away.  
„Good afternoon!” he chirps, looking around the counter to see who’s there. There’s a small stripe of light momentarily shining inside, lighting the shelves stacked with obscurities.

Jasper sometimes wonders how he’s even gotten himself this job, in a shop in some backwards alley somewhere in between the suburbs and the city itself. It doesn’t have a specialty apart from knickknacks, small antiquaries. Clocks. Watches. Some chairs and a lonesome table. Lots of porcelain and cats staring at him; it’s a bit unsettling. A lot of silverware, too. The only thing he really has to do is keep everything clean and make sure nothing’s being stolen. The store belongs to an acquaintance of his uncle, a lady he once met at some convention. She’s a lovely lady, but much like the store, a bit unsettling. 

„Hello?” Jasper echoes again, moving from behind the counter. He has to take a few steps before a silhouette comes into shaping, merging into a familiar face.  


„Hey,” she says, familiar smile gracing her lips. „I didn’t know you worked here.”  


„I didn’t know you came here,” Jasper answers. She laughs. 

„Have to pick up something for my grandmother,” Maya says, „something about a vase?”   
Jasper furrows his eyebrows, thinking. Then he remembers.

„It’s over here,” he says whilst walking toward a shelve behind the counter. The vase itself is made of glass with some kind of sophisticated pattern. It’s not the ugliest thing around. Jasper takes it off the shelf, wraps it in paper. „You okay?”  


„Yes,” Maya answers, leaning against the counter, then changing her stance. „I think I can manage.”  


„Good, that’s-„ Jasper struggles to find the words, „good.” 

He then sighs.  


„Do you want to come to Bryan’s barbecue tonight?”  


„What?” Maya is clearly taken aback, surprised by his question. „Yeah, sure-„ she blinks, „not as a couple though.”  


„That’s okay, I’m aware,” Jasper smiles a bit awkwardly. „Can you stay a bit longer?”  


Maya nods. Jasper smiles.  


„Thanks.”  


 

* * *

 

Evenings never turned out the way they planned them to be- which is probably why they’d stopped planning them all together. Not just Monty and Jasper, but Monroe, Harper, Bryan and Fox as well. Wells and Clarke tended to have a general idea about what they wanted to do, but they long ago had learned a real schedule didn’t work. They just agreed to meet up and then saw what happened. Bike races, ice cream eating contests, bonfires in backyards, burning marshmallows, just walking and talking. It was always nice. The barbecue is nice. Bryan’s invited someone from work, a kid called Nathan Miller, with a wicked smile and the look of trouble in his eyes. He fits perfectly into their group; both Jasper and Harper have earned the ‚troublemaker’ reputation at school, and although Monty is always included in Jasper’s mischievous plans, the teachers still tolerate him in some way. It’s looking like they’re going to stirring up trouble sometime in the future. Bryan’s over the moon. Monty brings Raven, who turns out to be in his AP Computer Science class. Raven’s also taking AP Physics C: Mechanics. And AP Physics: Electricity and Magnetism. Monty has no clue how she manages, but she even appears to excel at those subjects. Monty mostly remembers Raven from Finn’s parties; when the two run into each other Monty invites Raven to tag along. Introducés welcome.

So here Raven is, smiling, gleaming eyes, firing up the barbecue. Miller’s poking the fire beside her, and it’s allright. They’re making small talk, nothing much of importance. They’re getting along. 

When Jasper walks into Bryan’s backyard, he’s greeted with a „Hey loverboy!” from Raven, causing him to turn red instantly. Maya chuckles, eyebrows raised, elbow prodding softly in his ribs.  
„Well hello to you too,” he answers semi-cocky, aiming for ‚confident’ but straight up missing, only vaguely remembering who she is. He thinks she might’ve been the one to hand them the alcohol. 

Jasper sees Monty’s furrowed eyebrows. Maya doesn’t notice. She goes to greet Monroe and Harper, hugs Fox, settles. When Jasper turns toward Bryan, Raven’s still grinning. Her eyes go from Jasper towards Monty, who’s currently chatting with Clarke and Wells, and back to Jasper. Her smile is all-consumingly _knowing_.

Oh.

_Oh_.

Jasper’s heart skips, a rush of panic overwhelming him. Raven must see it on his face, because the look on her face immediately changes; with a hand on his shoulder she smoothly changes the subject. Jasper hopes no one has noticed, but Bryan’s raising his eyebrow for a millisecond, and Jasper’s heart sinks. They had been the only one at the party; no one knew. No one knows.

Well, Raven knows.  


„Good to see you again,” she says before letting go of his shoulder.  


„Idem,” Jasper affirms, giving her a small nod. He turns towards the unfamiliar boy by the barbecue. „Jasper Jordan.” He stretches his hand, formally. His hand is firmly gripped.  


„Nathan Miller,” the boy introduces himself, wicked smile gracing him. Jasper likes the glint in his eyes.  


„Colleague of-?” Jasper asks, guessing the reason of sudden appearance.  


„Bryan,” Miller answers. „Works the same crappy job. Makes it a bit more bearable, to be honest,” when he flashes a smile at Bryan, it’s dazzling white. Jasper thinks he sees Bryan blush. Raven wiggles her eyebrows before clacking with the tongs.  


„Time to throw in the meat.”  


„I surely hope you don’t mean throwing the meat into the fire,” Jasper chuckles.  


„I’ll throw your meat into the fire,” Raven fires back, voice airy.  


„Help,” Jasper yelps, „I’ll decline that offer.”  


„Who said it was an offer?”  


„Oh crap,” Jasper says, sounding more scared than he intended to. Raven shakes her head, chuckling.  


„I’d rather eat different meat, if you don’t mind,” Miller notes, placing burgers on the grill.  


„I don’t mind,” Jasper says, „not at all.”

 

* * *

 

Monty’s phone makes a sound. His face scrunches.

„Parent’s calling,” he says, sounding disappointed. „Gotta go.” 

It’s dark, a few clouds littering the star-lit sky. Half of the company has gone home already; with Monty gone only Monroe, Harper, Fox, Bryan and Jasper are left. Slowly they’re starting to clean, pick up plates left on garden furniture. A silent wind swishes in the air.  


„How did you know you were in love?” Bryan suddenly asks, startling the others.  


„What?” both Monroe, Harper and Jasper ask at the same time. Two heads turn towards Jasper, who fears he might be having a heart-attack with the pace in which his heart is racing. He tries to be casual, but drops the plate he’s holding in the meantime. His hands start to fumble.

„What do you mean?” Harper is first to turn back towards Bryan, who puts down the bottle in his hands.

„Well,” he starts off, „how did you know were in love? Did you just know?” 

Monroe and Harper share a look for a second, then speak up.  


„For me it wasn’t so much knowing as realizing,” Harper says. „Putting the pieces together. Jasper remembers.” She smiles at the brown-haired boy.  


„Yeah,” Jasper swallows, then smiles, crooked. „I was part of the conversation.”  


„You never told me,” Monroe muses, not sounding angry or disappointed at all. Amused.  


„You never asked,” Harper smiles, „you just went on a date. And then another. And then-„ She laughs.  


„I think I’ve always known,” Monroe says, „but it’s hard to explain. It helped a lot that my parents raised me on the idea that love is a many gendered  thing. There’s no wrong or right when it comes to love- well, most of the time.”  


„We can all think of some exceptions,” Fox agrees, nodding. 

„Love is a many gendered thing,” Bryan muses. He fumbles with his fingers for a moment, then looks at the others. „I think I’ve known for a long time-„ he searches for the words, „- I- I’m not straight.”  


„Me neither,” Harper says, walking up to hug Bryan. Monroe smiles supportively while Fox goes up to hug Bryan too.  


„Well, that makes three of us,” Monroe concludes. Jasper’s heart skips a beat.  


„Four,” he says quietly before he even realizes it, thinking back at the conversations at the Diner. His breath hitches as four faces turn curiously towards him. Jasper’s longs seem to have stopped working; suddenly he can’t breathe, throat tight, breaths shallow.  


Oh no.  
Oh no. _Oh no oh no oh no._

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. They were talking about Bryan. Focus on Bryan. Focus on Bryan.  


„Okay,” Fox shrugs, „why do you want to know, Bryan?” And with that, she changes the subject slightly, shifting the focus. Jasper has never felt so grateful, letting out a huff of air. He can breathe again.

„Nathan,” Bryan says honestly, ears turning a pinkish shade. „Ehm, I-„ he let’s out a sigh, „I’ve always suspected I liked boys, I just never had anyone confirm it- and I was- was wondering how you knew, you know.”  
Harper nods.

„I was the same, actually,” she says, then shakes her head. „No, wait. I was very confused by my feelings at first, constantly wondering what it was I might be feeling, not immediately thinking - identifying- that it might be _love_.”

„Does he make you feel different than other guys you know?” Monroe asks. The look on Bryan’s face is one of thoughtfulness. His eyes dart around the garden before he slowly nods.  


„There’s your answer,” Monroe simply says. The question starts to echo in Jasper’s head.  
He suppresses it.

„So should we set you guys up?” Fox asks, teasingly. Bryan immediately turns red.  


„No,” Bryan says, „I’ll handle it myself.”  


„I trust you,” Monroe gives him a reassuring look, slings an arm around Harper.  


„You go,” Jasper says, encouragingly, albeit a bit absentminded.  


„Keep us up to date,” Fox muses. Bryan laughs.  


„Give it some time,” he looks relieved. „I’m glad I could share this with you.”  


„No problem,” Harper says before hugging Bryan again. „We’ll support you no matter what.”

 

* * *

 

„Wake up,” a soft voice whispers next to Monty.  


„Hmhmhm,” Monty murmurs without opening his eyes. He turns around. Outside the birds are chirping.He can see spots of red and yellow behind his eyelids, indications of sunlight beaming through the curtains. He wants to go to sleep again.  


„Wakeywakey.” His shoulders are shaken, softly.  


„No,” he grumbles, putting his pillow over his ears.  


„Yes,” is the answer, and the pillow is removed. Monty rolls over, groaning, opening one eye, and yelps as he sees a face very close to his. That face is wearing a grin, and a mischievous one at that. It takes a minute for his heart to calm down.  


„Way to wake me up, punk,” Monty says, sitting up straight and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He gives Jasper a push, effortless and without any fury. Jasper laughs, voice clear cutting through the early morning buzz. He gets up and throws a shirt towards Monty.  


„Get dressed,” he instructs his best friend, „we’re going.”  


„Where?” Monty asks before protesting. „It’s my day off!”  


„Exactly,” Jasper says, walking out of his bedroom. Monty groans, letting himself fall back on his bed, arms stretched above his head. The glow-in-the-dark stars are still stuck on his ceiling, walls a different shade of blue from ten years ago. It’s still the room he built most of his childhood memories in. After all these years, the suburbs finally felt like home.  
Monty gets up, dresses himself, makes the bed. He doesn’t rush, doesn’t hurry, but doesn’t deliberately slow down either. He just needs to wake up properly, that’s all.

When he gets downstairs he has the clock tell him it’s half past eight in the morning. Jasper’s standing in the kitchen, a damping mug in his hands. Jasper ruffles his hair, which is still messy, before handing the mug to him.  


„Thought you might need it,” Jasper says, not specifying if he’s talking about the mug filled with coffee or the act of waking Monty up. Monty takes the cup, sipping it carefully. Jasper just smiles, lazily, waiting for Monty to finish his drink. Then he tosses Monty a banana, moving towards the Green’s front door.  


„I already left a note for your parents,” he says. Monty takes the banana and puts on his shoes without saying a word. They walk up to the secondhand rover Jasper’s father bought last winter. Jasper jumps in, opening the window.  


„Get in loser, we’re going shopping,” he says, mimicking Regina George’s voice. Monty snorts, shaking his head while walking up to the passenger’s side.  


„Shopping?” he asks, fastening his seatbelt. Jasper holds up two fingers for a second, just sitting there. He then puts on the radio. The Beach Boys start blaring, like they always do when Jasper’s driving.  


„No,” he says, smiling, hands resting on the steering wheel. One of his hands moves to grab the gearshift. „Not really.”  
Monty wants to ask, but by now he knows better than to question Jasper waking him up in the morning. 

„Hey Jasper,” Monty says, talking through the surprisingly slow tempo of ‚Going South’. „You remember Finn’s party, right?”  


Jasper’s breath hitches.  


„Which one?” he answers casually, driving his car onto the high way. Monty vaguely recognizes the route they’re taking.  


„The last one,” Monty says, furrowing his brows. „Summer party?”  


„Yeah,” Jasper says, although he sounds a bit reluctant. Maybe he’s just trying to focus on the road ahead of him.

He is.

„Good,” Monty says, and they stay quiet for a while before either of them talks again. „Can I ask something?”  


Three heartbeats.

„Sure.”  


„Did I kiss someone?”  


Jasper stills, swallows, answers.

„Yeah,” his voice is clipped, distant. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road. His knuckles turn white.  


„Oh,” Monty says, frowning again. He let’s his mind race through the evening, analyzing. He wants to ask who- who he had kissed, but judging at  Jasper’s posture now’s not the time. Monty looks out of the window.

A piece of paper catches his eye.  


„No way,” Monty mutters, reaching for the piece. Jasper’s hand reaches out, faster than lightning, covering Monty’s and thus preventing Monty from grabbing the paper. Monty can’t move is hand. He raises one single eyebrow.

„Nope,” Jasper simply says, trying to shove the papers towards himself over the dashboard. Monty keeps his hand firmly in place, which results in their hands ending up somewhere in between them. Jasper looks at their hands, just for a moment, before focusing on Monty.  


„I kinda need this hand to drive,” he says before looking at the road again, although he doesn’t have to shift for at least another two miles. It’s just one long piece of highway, no exits, no stops.  


„You can remove your hand,” Monty says smartly. Jasper grunts.  


„No,” he grits through his teeth, stubbornly holding his hand in place. Monty laughs. Jasper just doesn’t want Monty to see the tickets- it would ruin the surprise. 

So here he is, driving his car while the Beach Boys are blaring about fun, covering Monty’s hand while his heart is racing. He tries to not spend too much thought on the situation he’s in. He moves his fingers, wriggles them a bit, grabbing Monty’s hand. Almost automatically Monty retrieves the gesture, fingers curling around Jasper’s.  


„Crap,” Monty curses, laughing, as the paper tickets fall to the ground.  


„Got you there,” Jasper says before releasing Monty’s hand. Monty kinda misses the warmth afterwards.  


„Smart move,” Monty admits. He starts to hum along to the stereo. Jasper sends him a small smile.

 

* * *

 

„Close your eyes.”  


„Wh- why?”  


„Just do it.”  


„Jasper-„  


„Just trust me.”  


„Okay.”  


Monty closes his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Monty opens his eyes. He’s greeted by the sight of the theme park they went to when Jasper turned ten. He immediately feels a smile tug at his lips, unable to stop himself. He turns to Jasper, speechless. For a moment, all there is is the smile shared between the two boys, radiant and unchanging, displaying something neither of them are aware of.  
Jasper thinks he could drown himself in it’s warmth.

Monty merely remembers the thriving victory of the understanding that he had -has- a best friend. After all those years, they’re still friends.

Monty can’t imagine his world without Jasper.  


„Let’s go,” Jasper says, picking up the tickets. He jumps out of the rover, slams the door. Monty watches him, only for a moment, before following his best friend.

„I was thinking Hurricane first, then Great Dazzler, then the Gale. And then-„ Jasper starts listing a bunch of rides, rattling on ever so enthusiastic. His eyes gleam, he gets more frantic in his movements. It’s endearing, the way he lights up.  


„Let’s just walk,” Monty smiles eventually. Jasper nods, almost skipping.

„Remember the last time we were here?” he asks, bumping Monty’s shoulder.

Touch.

Monty laughs.  


„How could I forget? You had this cotton candy cloud twice the size of your head.”  


„Oh, we’re going to get one again,” Jasper grins, hands in his pockets. Monty feels light. They stroll through the park, get in line for the rides they want to ride, talking, joking, laughing. They talk about their childhood, little things they used to do. Catch frogs, climb trees. Lie on the roof to watch the stars. Jasper is careful not to talk about Monty’s parents; he simply wants to distract Monty, to have him not think of his parent’s divorce. 

Sometimes you just need to get away.

Sometimes you-  
„Yes!” his cry is nearly victorious. Jasper takes Monty’s hand, dragging him across the crowd of moving people. The boat ride is nearly abandoned now. „Let’s go!” He ushers Monty inside one of the boats, takes his backpack off his shoulder, puts it in his lap. Once the boat is off, Jasper sighs contently. Monty likes seeing him this happy. It’s simple, just sitting beside each other, enjoying each others company. For a moment, Monty fears he might lose this, somewhere in the near future- small moments like this. Maybe they will be separated after high school- they haven’t talked about university or college yet. The future’s coming and it’s coming fast, and they have no clue what they’re doing. Monty tries to imagine a future where meeting Jasper isn’t a given, miles between them, crappy connections and cities apart.

He can’t.

„Hey,” he hears Jasper say softly to him. „It’s going to be okay.”  


„Yes,” Monty nods, only partly believing it. He’s amazed by the way Jasper’s somehow felt his concern. He sends him a small smile. „It will be okay.”  


„Better yet,” Jasper returns, „it will be great. Now, do you want to go towards the Hurricane or-?”  
The Hurricane’s a ride they end up riding six times before Jasper hobbles out, dizzied by the twist and turns.

„I think I’ve had enough hurricanes for the next six years,” he says, looking a bit nauseous. „Let’s do something like-„ he looks around, „one of those ball games?” He says quizzically, raising both his eyebrows.  


„Okay,” Monty says, a sly grin sneaking on his face. „Ten dollars I’ll hit more cans than you will.”  


„You’re on,” Jasper grins, smacking down money on the counter of the stand. Of course Jasper ends up a disaster, even though there’s one moment they’re almost even- which has more to do with luck than anything else really. He donates his points to Monty, who picks out a bear pluche the size of his torso ‚just because he can’.

He gives the plushie to Jasper, whose heart is not skipping a beat. Or seven.„You’re going to have to hold Grylls when I get the cotton candy,” Jasper warns Monty, who just shrugs, grin spread across his face. He doesn’t mind. It’s a stupid ass cliché, which he appreciates ironically.

On their way out, Jasper buys the biggest cloud of cotton candy the park has. Monty stands beside him, holding the enormous teddy bear while Jasper eats his candy floss.  


„Open up,” he instructs Monty. He plucks a piece off the fluffy could and feeds Monty the piece, like they did when they were ten.  


„Let it melt,” he says again, mouth full of sugary sweetness, muffling his words. Monty remembers this, the sugar melting in his mouth, leaving a trace on his lips, shading his lips another tint of pink. He watches as Jasper does the same, carefully sucking on the bite of cotton candy. His cheeks hollow slightly.   
Jasper feeds Monty another piece of cotton candy. He takes another bite, trying not to look at Monty’s lips. However, he still does. Jasper’s eyes flick to Monty’s lips before he looks at his friend again.

„You had a good time?” Jasper asks. Monty immediately nods, finishes eating the cotton candy.  


„Better yet,” he says, walking onto the parking lot, „I had a great time.”  


„Would you say _smawesome_?” 

Monty laughs.  


„No.”  


„Ahw, come on, just one time!”  


„No,” Monty’s still laughing, trying to get Grylls into the back of the Rover.  


„You kinda like it,” Jasper says accusatory. „Just admit it.”  


„No,” Monty laughs again. „Stop trying to make fetch happen.” 

Jasper’s laugh is delightful.

 

* * *

 

„Mom, what are you doing?”  


„Oh, this is my new project. I’m making stuffed animals for the orphanage.”  


„Can I help?” Jasper asks, earning his mother’s attention. It’s almost twelve o’clock on a school night, and Jasper’s finally gone downstairs to get something to drink. He can’t sleep.

He worries.

„Yes, of course,” Norah nods. She looks at her son, analyzing. There had been some changes in him lately. Norah noticed the preeminent jitters, the growing anxious looks, the nerves her boy seemed to carry around with him. He was worrying, although she hadn’t figured out exactly why.

She thought she had seen something change in the way he looked at his best friend.

But Norah has known for a long time now; the looks her son and the neighbor’s shared were those all too familiar to her. „I’ll show you.”   
Norah and Jasper Jordan spend nights creating plushies together, table dimly lit by the lamp above it, casting shadows across the room. Jasper loves it: his hands are kept busy, just like his mind. As long as he can focus on this he doesn’t have to focus on other things, like school or feelings.

„Jasper,” Norah says, when they’re finishing the last of their stuffed animals, „have I ever told you about my girlfriend?”  
Jasper almost chokes coughing in surprise.

„What?”  


„When I was about your age, I had a girlfriend,” his mother says, all casual, as if she hasn’t just changed the way Jasper looks at her. She hasn’t though, not really.  


„What happened?” Jasper asks.  


„We didn’t work out,” Norah shrugs, „things like that just happen.”  


„Like me and Maya,” Jasper nods, because he thinks he understands.  


„Yes,” his mother smiles. Jasper toys with the wolf plushie in his hands, thinking about how much Monty loves wolves, how he’d given Jasper that ridiculous stuffed bear in the theme park. He contemplates her words. Jasper looks at his mother, tries to formulate words, a sentence, something, but he doesn’t succeed. He’s empty, too overwhelmed by his mother’s words. She had a girlfriend. Like Monroe and Harper. Maybe it’s not - maybe it’s- maybe it’s not _wrong_ to feel this way about his best friend.

Just inconvenient.  
Very inconvenient.

„It’s person you fall in love with,” Norah hums, „not gender.” She sows up the last part of the stuffed animal, then looks her son straight in the eye. 

„Jasper,” she quietly smiles, hand reaching out to touch his cheek. The look in her eyes is nothing but fondness. „We love you.”  


„Love you too,” Jasper says, barely audible. His smile is small but genuine.  


„Remember that,” Norah says, striking his cheek one time before giving him a smile and getting up. „I will.”

Jasper nods.  


 

He gives the wolf plush to Monty. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear it!
> 
> I also have a pinterest board for this fic, so if anyone's interested, here it is: pinterest.com/labysprinter/small-town-kids-suburbia/


	12. One More (Eighteen Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying this, but the chapters keep getting lengthier. I really hope you don't mind! I think there's about three or four chapters left, but you might never know!
> 
> First of all, I want to say that, as I'm not an american, I actually have no idea how things like proms etc. work. I think the timeline might be a bit off (when do you have finals?) but I kinda hope that you can look through that. Now I did look up a few things about prom and graduation, but I didn't use everything. I hope this chapter makes enough sense.
> 
> Up next: a road trip, college, and cooking.
> 
> Probable trigger warnings for this chapter are for Underage Drinking (again. hooray!)
> 
> Have fun reading! :)

An eye for an eye, that’s what Monty understands. Still he wonders- has Jasper given the wolf in return for the gigantic teddy bear at the ball game of the theme park? If so, wasn’t it something that tipped a subtle balance- one not easily explained but still in existence? It had started out like this: Jasper giving him a warm welcome to the neighborhood, followed by Monty showing Jasper his anywhere, which lead to Jasper decorating his ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars, showing him the night sky, taking him to the theme park, learning him how to ride a bike. Which had caused Monty to get him a friendship bracelet, silently dedicate the song at the freshman showcase to Jasper, take him birdwatching, camping out in his backyard. Then Jasper had given him a rhinestone, Monty had taught Jasper how to drive a car, and Jasper had driven them to the theme park, where Monty had won a bear the size of his torso and given it to Jasper in thanks. And now Jasper had given him a handmade plushie. It feels like an equation with missing numbers.

Monty wants to solve it.

 

* * *

 

Senior year wasn’t that different from the previous years, except for the weird nostalgia surrounding most seniors. That, plus the continually growing pressure to make decisions about your future life- moving out, choosing colleges, universities, studies. Work, family, savings. There were a lot of stunts pulled, too, awkward yet vibrant senior year traditions. Writing your initials on one of the walls designed for it. Pajama day. The last showcase ever, which sounded as dramatic as it was due to the high amount of dramatic acts on display. It was both taking the mick out of the senior showcase and a sigh of relief mixed with sadness, which gave the showcase itself an oddly ironic feeling. It was hard to pinpoint how everyone felt about it. Atom and the Atomics were performing, as they always were, but a lot of new acts showed up as well. Groups mingled, teachers loosened up. Senior year was as much as an in-between as a restroom at a gasstation- it existence was clear, even though being there felt like being stuck in between two vastly different worlds. The highway and civilization. High school and college. Childhood and adult life.

Of course it doesn’t feel like this when everyone’s studying for finals. Clarke and Wells organize a study group, which most of them gladly participate in. Jasper, who starts out by studying on his own, caves about two days into studying, acknowledging how easily distracted he is, and that he shouldn’t be left alone with his mind at times like this. He’s nauseous. He feels like he will inevitably screw up.

Everyone knows he won’t.

Their study group turns out to be pretty successful. Other students discover the sufficiency of groups like that, gathering together to cram for their finals. It’s not for everyone, Bryan soon discovers. His studying is done in the quiet of his room- or Nathan’s. Octavia works through finals with the help of her brother Bellamy, who’s now working at the flower shop as he’s taking a gap year. Monty doesn’t really participate, but likes to be around the study group. The soft murmuring of the others is somehow comforting, louder than he lets his nerves be. 

„Hey there, lone ranger,” a voice greets Monty, causing him to shift his focus. When he looks up, a bright smiling Raven’s standing in front of him. She lies her book upon the table, goes to sit besides him. „Still studying?”  


„Trying to,” Monty sighs, turning the page which he has already read about twenty times, each time starting at a different line.  


„Well, I’m just getting started,” Raven smiles, „anything I can help you with?”  


„No,” Monty says, scanning the next page, „I think I got AP Computer Science down, Jasper’s helping with Chemistry, Geology’s well- licking rocks and hoping not to die. You know how it goes.”

„Just revising then?”  


„Mostly, yeah,” Monty sighs. „Can’t wait for it all to be over.”  


„Me too,” Raven agrees, „could’ve graduated last year, but then-„ she gestures towards her leg, implying a story Monty hasn’t heard, „shit happened. It’s okay though,” she says before Monty can even think to ask if she thinks it’s crappy to not have graduated as soon as she could’ve. „That’s life for you. At least you guys are cool.”

„Thanks, I suppose,” Monty furrows his eyebrows, eyes distant. He shakes his head before looking at Raven again. „So what are you doing next year?”  


„Engineering,” Raven starts to beam, clearly excited about her study, „actually, double major electrical engineering and computer science. Already got in last year.”  


„You don’t have to reapply?” 

„I managed to fix something,” Raven’s smirk is smug. She shrugs. „What can I say, I’m awesome like that.” She grins. „So what about you?”

„Engineering, too,” Monty flashes Raven a small smile, „I’m not entirely sure though.”  


„Well, you got the brains buddy,” Raven gives him a small fist bump against his shoulder. „Team up with me! We will be undeniably awesome.”  


„Smawesome,” Monty says, practically inaudible. Raven still hears.  


„Monty, that was a terrible word,” she says, „please don’t ever repeat that word -ever.”  


„What- _smawesome_?” Monty’s smile is downright terrible. Raven groans.

„Oh God,” she sighs, „why? It sounds like you’re rubbing sandpaper agains my eardrums.”  


„Try telling Jasper that,” Monty says. Raven coughs out a laugh, shaking her head.  


„Of course _Jasper_ invented that word,” she says, „I should’ve known.” 

Monty grins.

„You really should’ve,” he agrees, shit-eating grin on his face. Raven bumps his shoulder again.  


„Get back to studying, you numbskull.”  


„Wasn’t I supposed to be a genius?”

„Not if you keep studying like this,” Raven smiles, „which is to say, not at all.”  


„Well, you got me there,” Monty snickers. „Let’s get back to work.”  


 

* * *

 

Senior year leads to senior traditions, which ultimately leads to senior prom. Monty doesn’t really get what all the fuss is about- dresses, tuxedoes, fake tans, the nails, hair, limousines. Of course it is your last prom ever- as far as high school is concerned. But Monty feels it’s more driven by a fear of what comes next than a willingness to say goodbye to a tradition. One more time, before everything changes. One more time.

Of course your prom date’s supposed to be half of your soul, or something like that. As someone who hasn’t been in of out of love yet, Monty just frowns at the students in the hallway crying over the one that hasn’t asked them to prom yet. He gets it, he thinks. He just doesn’t understand.

„Jasper,” he asks, about a month before their last prom. They are walking the hallway in between classes, not particularly heading anywhere. „Why is it everyone wants to be asked to prom by the one they’re into?”

Jasper furrows his eyebrows at that.

„Tradition,” he finally concludes, after thinking it through.

„What do you mean?”  


„Isn’t it a tradition you take your sugarplum to prom?” Jasper asks. „Like Pride and Prejudice, where balls where thrown to- meet people? Future husbands and wives?” He shrugs. „Never thought about it much.”  


„Yeah,” Monty nods, understanding what Jasper is trying to say. „Weird tradition though.”  


„Well, you can always just go with friends,” Jasper bumps his shoulder against Monty’s.  


„Like we will,” Harper says, coming up from behind them. „Monroe and I just found out we can’t go to prom together because of the school’s old fashioned policies. That’s to say: people need to get their heads out of their asses-„  


„-they just haven’t yet,” Jasper finishes the sentence. „What is your proposition?”  


Harper turns to them, raising her hands.  


„You take me,” Harper says, motioning her hand between her and Jasper. „Monty takes Monroe. We would ask Bryan and Miller, but as Miller doesn’t go to this school-„  


„-we’re the Chosen Ones,” Jasper smirks, then looks to Monty. Miller not going to the Ark means Miller not being allowed to go to prom, because their High School’s policies suck like that.

„So we gather at your place?” Monty asks, thinking it through. Prom dates are always seen as important, and it could work. If he and Jasper take Harper and Monroe they are guaranteed to end up in the same pictures. They could even figure something out to get matching corsages.„We arrive at the same time, take group pictures, and then we’re free to go?”  


„Basically,” Harper sighs.  


„Sounds like a plan to me,” Jasper says, sending Harper a smile. He looks at Monty. „I wasn’t planning on asking anybody.”  


„Me neither,” Monty admits. „I’m glad to help.”

„Thank you!” Harper almost yells, flinging her arms around Monty. He almost falls over from the force with which she hugs him. When she lets go, she’s absolutely radiant. „You guys are the best!” 

„Hey, no problem,” Monty assures Harper. She keeps on smiling as she tags along.  


„You’ll be our rides?” she asks, practically skipping next to them. Monty looks to Jasper.  


„I think I can arrange something,” he says, softly prodding his elbow in Jasper’s ribs. Jasper blinks, then looks confused for a second.  


„What?” he asks.  


„The rides to prom,” Monty says, wondering why Jasper zoned out.  


„Ah,” Jasper says, „well, I got my rover. It’s not the most gracious car-„  


„But at least it’s a car,” Harper says. „As long as we will get there, it’s fine.”

 

* * *

 

Getting corsages is a thing.  


„These things are expensive,” Monroe notices. „It’s just a bunch of flowers around your wrist. Why bother?”  
Jasper shrugs, because he honestly has no idea. His mother could probably make one if they wanted to.

„O come on,” Clarke says, taking a bite from the mac ‚n cheese they’re serving at lunch, „it’s a pretty tradition. They cash in on that.”  


„I guess it would be pretty hard to keep the flowers looking the way they do.”  


„It’s simple,” Finn says, „just use fake flowers.”  


„Such a romantic,” Raven scoffs, but then smiles. „As long as you’re getting me real ones. I won’t accept less.”  


„Oh I know,” Finn smiles, pulling Raven closer. She laughs. 

„So if you don’t have a date,” Octavia frowns, „you get no corsage?”  


„You can buy one yourself,” Wells shrugs. „Or just do whatever you want.”  


„You’re a free elf!” Jasper laughs. Octavia sends him a look that says she’s not impressed. Clarke and Monty laugh.  


„It’s true though,” Bryan agrees. 

„Like my brother says,” Octavia sighs. „Whatever the hell we want.”  


They all grin at her.  


„Whatever the hell we want.”

 

* * *

  
  
So Jasper’s going to prom with Monty, no biggie. It’s just his best friend. Who he’s into.

So _very_ into.

He thinks he might have a heart attack.  


Jasper twists the red worn friendship bracelet around his wrist. It’s hanging on by one thread, barely a wristband anymore. Monty had given it to him before they went to high school. It had lasted their whole high school career. 

Officially, Jasper will be going with Harper. But as Harper’s actually going with Monroe, they will be sticking together for the larger part of the night. Which really makes it feel more like a double date. 

Harper’s dress will be a soft baby blue, made from a long flowing fabric, which will match his blue tie. Jasper’s suit will be nothing much, just a regular black suit with a white dress shirt. They settled for white corsages and boutonnieres, something easy on the eyes. Blue agapanthus and white dendrobium orchids bundled with eucalyptus.

In all honesty, the names of the flowers don’t mean a lot to either Jasper or Harper. Bellamy tells about them with a lot of enthusiasm, but it’s all a bit lost on them. Monty starts nodding encouragingly, even starts up a discussion about different types of plants and flowers. Bellamy beams. Jasper grins, remembering the first plant to grow in Monty’s kitchen garden. It’s just a thing he’s very passionate about- just like his father. It’s endearing. 

Monroe and Monty fix their own corsage and boutonniere. They still match, aren’t abundant or flashy. It’s very Monroe and Monty, Harper and Jasper both agree. Simple. Elegant.

 

On prom night, Norah’s more exited than her son, constantly moving around the house. It becomes clear that she’s the one Jasper’s inherited his jitters from, moving her hands, moving objects. She asks about their plans about five times before they even have had dinner.  


„Forgive your mother,” Joseph says, „I kinda forgot to plan our whole prom thing.”  


„You went to prom together?” Jasper asks, confused. He can’t remember either of his parents ever telling anything about a prom.  


„Absolutely not,” his mother laughs. „I went with a bunch of friends. Didn’t have a date -officially.”  


„It’s why I tell you that I kinda forgot to plan our whole prom thing.”  


„You didn’t even notice me back then,” his mother says, moving aside a chair, only to put it back again.  


„Oh, I noticed,” Joseph chuckles. „But I figured with a girlfriend and all- I didn’t really think I’d stand a chance. Or that it would be appropriate.”  


„Hm,” Norah contemplates. She smiles happily, lost in a memory. „It’s a good thing I asked you to the winter formal at uni then.”  


„A very good thing,” Jasper’s father agrees. „I wouldn’t have had the balls-„  


„-Dad!”  


Joseph shrugs while he continues to cook. Norah sets the table.  


„It’s true. I’ve never been much of a daredevil.”  


Jasper raises his eyebrows, wondering in what world asking his mother out would’ve been considered dangerous. He can’t imagine a time, really, not as the woman he knows his mother to be. His mother laughs, wrapping her arms around her husband.  


„Anyhow,” she says, „you got a date. Even though it’s not a romantic date. Speaking of which- how are you going to get there? When are you going to get there? Are you picking up Harper on your own?”  


„We’re taking the car,” Jasper answers, for the fifth time that day, „and we will go there once Monty shows up. We’ll pick up Harper and Monroe, have pictures taken by Harper’s parents, then take Monty’s parents’ car.”  


„Because it’s not old and rusty?”  


„Exactly,” Jasper smiles. „Plus, it saves us gas.”  


„I like the way you think, son,” Joseph ruffles Jasper’s hair. „Dinner’s ready, by the way.”

They sit down for dinner, even though Jasper finds it hard to keep the food down. He’s nervous.  


„It will be okay,” his mother reassures him. „Just try and have a good time. It’s just a prom.”  


„Only the last prom ever,” Jasper laughs, but there’s no humor in his voice. He can feel his heart beat in his throat.  


„It’s just another way to say goodbye to high school, Jasper,” his father says. „It feels bigger than it is. Imagine having something like this when leaving middle school.”  


„We did,” Jasper says, causing his father to look like a lost puppy. He starts to laugh.  


„Really?” his father asks. Norah nods, grinning.  


„The dance,” she says. „Although it wasn’t as big as prom always is.”  


„I had to wear a suit,” Jasper says, vividly recalling that day. The suit had been ill-fitted, just a tiny bit too tight, but in such way that Jasper had been afraid to rip the suit- which was a rental. A lot of awkward dancing had ensued. „At least I now have a suit which actually fits me.”  


His mother smiles.  


„At last,” she says, mashing the potatoes on her plate. The conversation continues until dinner is over and Jasper starts to fidget with the cuffs of the hoodie he’s wearing.  


„Monty will be here in about an hour,” Jasper says after reading the text on his phone. „I gotta get ready.”  


„I’ll make sure to have the camera ready,” Norah says, „you’ll drop by together with Zoe and Harper before you go to prom? I want to take a picture of those beautiful girls. And -„ she adds, „-of course I want a picture of my son and his official prom date.”  


„We’ll drop by,” Jasper promises, nodding. He gets up and heads for the stairs, heart still pounding in his throat.

 

In the next house over, Monty’s heading upstairs as well. Dinner hadn’t been that bad, especially now his parents had decided to start living separately- they had been together again specifically for tonight. And it went well. There were no fights, no screaming, yelling, bad atmosphere. And Monty’s grateful for that. What he feared might have been disastrous had actually been pretty nice. His evening was off to a great start. In his closet a suit hangs, straight and flawless. Classy. Elegant. Everything Monty doesn’t usually wear. First, he takes a shower, scrubbing away old dirt and sweat, rinsing his hair. He blow-dries his hair, shaves, makes sure there are no weird spots visible in his face. He then gets into his suit, which takes more time than anticipated. The dress shirt is like some kind of second skin, clinging more to his body than he had anticipated. Not bad, though, not bad at all. He puts on his jacket, ties his bow-tie, puts on his ridiculously shiny shoes. Aftershave. Some kind of deodorant. Monty’s as ready as he’ll ever be.

When he heads downstairs, his parents are waiting. They take out a camera and take a picture of him still standing at the top of the staircase, blinding him with the flash.  


„Ugh,” he groans, internally bemoaning the fact that he forgot how many pictures are going to be taken. He tries not to fall down the stairs, spots dancing around his vision. Once he makes it downstairs, he is tightly hugged by his father and mother.  


„You can head over to Jasper’s with me,” he says, „we’re coming back with Harper and Monroe, so you can just wait there.”   
His parents nod, insisting with the proposal. After his father turns the lights off they head outside, making the one-minute walk to the Jordans’ front door.

„Are you ready?” his mother whisper-asks. Monty nods, rings the bell.  


„JASPER!” they hear Norah yell, causing Monty to chuckle. A second later the door opens.  


„Come inside!” Norah says, smiling brightly. She pulls open the door a bit farther, letting the Greens in. She turns towards the staircase. „Jasper!” she repeats.  


„Incoming!” Jasper replies, almost tripping over his feet while making his way to the stairs. He grinds to a halt at the top of the stairs as he sees Monty standing there, suited up. He stares. Then a grin splits his face in half and he’s walking down the stairs.

Monty looks. Then looks again. He blinks.  


Jasper’s suit is perfectly fitted around his shoulders. His tie is untied and the top button of his shirt is left open, which is so very _Jasper_ it almost hurts. 

He looks impeccable. 

There’s no other way Monty can describe it. The way the suit fits, his hairs, the shoes- it’s all looking so _good_. The way James Bond always looks dashing in his suit. It stirs.  


„Jasper, come here,” his mother lovingly demands. Jasper flashes Monty a smile before obeying his mother. She buttons the last button and ties his tie, then proceeds to button Jasper’s jacket. Once she’s done, Jasper twirls. 

„Tadah,” he says faintly, looking at Monty. Monty’s eyes keep getting drawn to his best friend; he hopes he vaguely resembles the way Jasper looks in a suit. „You like it?”  


„It suits you,” Monty says, and Jasper’s laugh is so clear it might as well’ve been crystal ringing. 

„Nice pun, dweeb,” Jasper says, trying to contain himself and not ruffle Monty’s hair. „You ready?”  


„About as ready as I’ll ever be.”  


„Just a moment, boys,” Jasper’s mother says, polaroid camera in her hands. She ushers the boys to move closer to each other, snaps a photo. With a thumbs up she allows them to leave, to get their dates.

 

* * *

 

The whole photo shoot at home is a bit awkward, like prom pictures are supposed to be. Eli’s the one to take pictures at Monroe’s house, as their parents aren’t home. After Monroe’s they’re off to Harper’s, where the whole ritual repeats itself. Finally they stop at Jasper’s home, where both Greens and Jordans flash with their cameras until all the teens can see is a white blur. At the prom Jasper, Monroe, Harper and Monty meet up with the others. They spend most of the time on the dance floor, mingling and dancing their asses off. At one point Monty ends up dancing with Octavia, and Jasper with Clarke. They continually switch, move, change partners. At one point there’s a dance circle, somewhere in the middle of the room. The music’s loud and body’s twirling. They manage to get a picture in which everyone’s present and smiling, with no closed eyes or twitchy faces. It takes about twenty tries. They are feeling good. Senior year is full of traditions, like prom. Which, in itself, leads to the prom afterglow- aka the afterparty thrown by who’s willing to. When prom finishes around eleven o’clock, nobody’s tired yet.

Monroe still has a bottle of vodka lying around. It’s not so much a question of where they are going as how they will get there. They know that it will ultimately lead to a bunch of teenagers lying around tipsily- they don’t care. It’s their last prom, and they’re still on a high from the dance itself. It has been undeniably great, everybody being in a good mood, dancing and laughing. They don’t want to stop- so they don’t. Since most of them live in the same neighborhood, they decide to crash at Monroe’s. Her parents are out of town, and it won’t be too much trouble getting there. They take the cars back home and walk over to Monroe’s, Finn parking his lonely car on the curb. Bryan invites Miller over, who happily accepts his invitation. 

„Bring on the booze!” Raven cheers when she’s inside. Monroe sits down with a bottle filled with clear liquid while Octavia puts on the music. They spread out like an ink stain, coming in through the front door, dropping jackets and heels, taking swigs, filling glasses with soda. A circle of people comes into existence. Chatter fills the room. Jasper sprawls out on the couch, arms lazily resting on the top of the couch. Octavia is sitting on his left, and Monty on his right. Next to Octavia Clarke is sat, with Miller, Bryan, Raven and Finn beside them. Harper takes place beside Finn, and Monroe closes the circle. Wells, being on curfew, had headed home. Fox simply said she was too tired. All of them had made sure she had made it home safely. She had.

The night has been going on for hours, slowly growing into a string of bad jokes, weird dance moves and glowing skin. Jasper closes his eyes for a moment, listens to the music playing. When he opens them, he sees that Monty’s smiling at him. He grins back. 

„How about a game?” Harper proposes, having a conversation Monty has partially missed.  


„What kind of game?” Jasper asks, leaning forwards. He raises his eyebrows in question as he looks around their group.  


„Spin the bottle,” Raven smiles, almost deviously. „Just one round.”  


„We will need a bottle,” Miller points out. Octavia takes the last swig from the bottle, coughs, then smiles wryly.  


„Well, we got a bottle,” she announces. „How about participants?”  


„I’m in,” Finn says, a bit fast for Raven’s liking. Octavia shrugs. 

„Sure.” Bryan seems to contemplate for a moment, but then nods. Raven smirks.  


„I’m in.”  


„Sign me up,” Miller says. Monroe and Harper whisper something to each other, then agree to participate. When Monty looks to Jasper to see what he will do, Jasper’s looking at him, as having the same idea. Jasper then looks around and slowly nods, expression changing. 

They are looking at Monty now, who feels his cheeks heat up. He’s only kissed once, and he doesn’t even remember with whom.

But it’s not like this means a lot. It’s just a plain ol’ round of spin the bottle. Nothing important. It’s common knowledge that games like these are designed to make one loosen up, that the kisses don’t actually mean a thing- unless you really want them to. He should just do it- it’s just one round. After all, what could go wrong?

Monty looks to Clarke, who’s still frowning, not sure if she actually wants to join. It’s not the possibly kissing girls what’s the problem. It’s not even the kissing itself- she can’t describe it. It is making her twitchy.  


„There’ll have to be rules,” she says, „I don’t want anyone doing things they don’t want to.” 

„So you’re in?” Octavia asks. Clarke nods, resolutely. Monty smiles as to give his consent. 

„The rules are simple: there’s a bottle and a spinner. The spinner spins the bottle and kisses the person to which the bottle points. If you’re uncomfortable with a kiss on the lips, you can kiss the hand, cheek or nose.”  


There’s a snort coming from Raven, who mutters ‚nose’.  


„Or you can just, you know, hug them?” Jasper suggests.  


„Sure,” Monroe shrugs. „How far you want to take it is your call-„ there’s whooping, „and with ‚it’ I mean the kissing.”  


„Which means no nudity, sex or dryhumping?” Octavia more suggests than asks.  


„Basically,” Raven summarizes, „small kiss, normal kiss, french kiss, and don’t go there.”  
Miller snickers, earning a earnest smile from both Raven and Bryan.

„Any further questions?”  


„Who’s starting?”

There’s a moment of silence. Then Finn grins.  
„I am.”

 

* * *

 

„Jasper, you’re up,” Raven calls. There’s cheering as he takes a shot and spins the bottle, heart pounding. He prays that it will not land on Monty, not on Monty, not on-

„Octavia!” Clarke cheers. „Seems like you’re getting your first kiss of tonight.” She smiles. Jasper lets out a small sigh of relief, invisible to everyone. He maneuvers, twisting so that he’s facing Octavia. He looks at her to scan if she’s alright with it, then leans in. The kiss is short-lived but sweet, nothing out of the ordinary. Octavia smiles at him for a moment before falling back into the couch. Jasper doesn’t feel any different.

They cross the circle. Finn kisses Clarke a bit too enthusiastic for Raven’s liking, going all-in. She squints, but keeps her mouth shut. She gets her revenge when Clarke’s bottle lands on her. Harper spins Monty and gives him a small peck on the lips, giggling before doing it. Octavia smooches Bryan on the cheek, causing him to turn a deep shade of red. Miller watches as it happens, licks his lips. Monroe cheers as the bottle lands on her girlfriend as she spins, kissing her with full conviction. Bryan doesn’t wait till the bottle stops spinning, just takes a deep breath, turns around and kisses Miller. Miller, being clearly surprised, melts into the kiss after a small moment. There’s a sudden silence, then some more cheering and whooping. When they break apart, they’re both flustered.  


„Aww,” Harper and Monroe echo, snuggled close together. Bryan fidgets with his hands, which are lying in his lap. There’s only one person left to spin the bottle.

Monty spins.

It lands on Jasper. 

While Jasper feels like he might be having a heart attack, Monty is trying to think about the situation. There’s not much thinking to do, though: they’re playing spin the bottle, and the bottle has landed on his best friend. It’s not a question _if_ they’re going to kiss, but _how_. Monty can feel the vodka pump through his veins, a soft tangle in his fingertips, a slow pulse under his skin. Pleasant.  


There’s a silence and a tension filling the room. It’s almost as loud as the beat of Monty’s heart as he tries to figure out how to solve this. He wants to move his hand, do something. He turns to look at Jasper, who looks like he might be having a stroke, color drained from his face.  
Afraid.

„Jasper,” Monty softly says, voice threaded with worry. „Are you okay?”  


Jasper’s eyes flick to Monty’s face. He nods, distractingly licking his lips.  


„Okay,” Monty breathes, nodding as to assure himself. „Okay.”  


There’s a cheer coming from either Finn or Miller.  
Monty’s hands reach out to touch Jasper’s cheeks, taking his head between them before leaning in closer. The moment Monty’s fingers touch Jasper, he’s on fire.

When their lips meet, there’s cheering which neither of them really notices. It’s not a peck, not exactly. It’s not a french kiss either.  
Monty’s lips are soft against Jasper’s. Monty’s hands move to the back of Jasper’s head, while one of Jasper’s hands comes up to rest against Monty’s chest. Jasper’s lips faintly taste of something sweet like chocolate, the taste barely tangible but still there. Monty’s heart stutters. It's hard to tell how long the kiss lasts. They break apart.  
Jasper’s on fire.

 

* * *

 

Sunlight creeps through the creaks of the curtains. They are a pile of mess left in the living room, all sprawled out on couches and air mattresses, blankets spilled everywhere. The sunlight prickles Monty’s skin.

He’s lying next to Jasper, shoes, jacket and dress shirt removed, still in his pants and the regular t-shirt he wore underneath the dress shirt. Jasper’s lying on his back, tie untied, dress shirt left open, revealing a stripe of skin. His hair is a mess, their body’s touching. Monty turns to his back and stares at the ceiling, aware of the fact that their hands are still touching.  
He doesn’t really want to move.

„Hey, about what happened-„

Then he does.  


„Don’t sweat it,” Monty says, smiling softly as he turns to face Jasper. There’s a rewind, and a sudden fear overwhelms him; the fear Jasper might feel disgusted. That, after all, he came to realize he just kissed a guy, who is his best friend, and probably pretty bad at kissing. He could’ve- Maybe he thinks- no, that can’t be. Jasper isn’t the type to think less of-

„It was just a round of spin the bottle,” Monty says. After the game they’d played other games like twister, which had become a bigger disaster the more time passed. Monty looks Jasper in the eye. „You kissed others, too.”

It was true.  


‚ _Not the way I kissed you_ ,’ Jasper wants to say, but instead he says: „Oh. Yeah.”

„Yeah,” Monty says, and he tries to smile reassuringly. Jasper’s eyes dart across his face.  


„I’m bi,” Jasper then says, taking Monty by surprise. There’s a minuscule malfunction, a stutter in either his heart or brain.  


„Oh,” Monty says. He blinks. „Okay.” 

He doesn’t think it’s an issue.  
Jasper’s breath hitches visibly.

„You don’t think-„ he pauzes to find the words, „you,- I-I- it-„  


„It doesn’t change anything,” Monty says, although he does feel a soft push, pull, a lurking in his stomach he can’t place. He’s suddenly aware of his own heartbeat. „You’re still you.”  


„Yeah,” Jasper breathes out, a mix of relieve and something Monty can’t identify. He wraps his arms around his best friend. „You still like me because I’m weird?”  


„I still like you because you’re you,” Monty says.  


„Me too,” Jasper says, a tinge of sadness lacing his voice. _Liking_ doesn’t even begin to cover it.  


„Thank you,” Monty says softly, feeling grateful for having his friend trust him with a confession this great, „thank you for telling me.”  


 

* * *

 

Graduation feels weird. It’s a good type of weird- they all feel immensely satisfied, proud to be the owner of a high school diploma now, yet they al feel oddly nostalgic. They will all go their own way, and they know it. Jasper decides he wants to study chemistry at the last possible moment. It’s the morning of their graduation day when he actually decides. He rushes downstairs to tell his mother, who smiles at him and tells him that they will look into applying for colleges. It feels good to have a plan for the future, Jasper thinks as he’s heading towards the graduation ceremony. Odd, but nice. Along the year, everyone has started to develop their own plans, and now the moment is there to let go of the structured high school life and dip the toes into newfound adulthood. Change is coming, and it’s coming fast.

Wells will be studying upstate, his father moving because of political aspirations. Octavia decides to take a gap year, touring around, exploring nature. Clarke gets accepted into Art School, and Maya moves to New York to study medicine. They all end up in different places, but still manage to find each other eventually. Once they get their acceptance letters, it turns out that Jasper, Raven and Monty will be attending the same university.  
Just like Bellamy, apparently.

Monty still can’t believe high school’s finished. His father has moved out of the house, he got his own car, he will be starting university soon- it all feels so surreal. It’s summer when he finds himself sitting against the oak tree behind the fence. He turns the gemstone in his hand.  


„Hey,” Jasper says, sweaty, slightly panting. He’s just gotten back from a run, trying to get his mind of very specific things.  


„Hey,” Monty smiles, patting the ground beside him. Jasper goes to sit, dries his forehead with the hem of his shirt, revealing a strip of skin. Monty catches himself looking at the exposed skin, moves his gaze. „Crazy, huh?”  


„What?” Jasper asks. „You?”  


„Yeah, me too,” Monty snickers. „High school ending, I mean.”  


„You still got me,” Jasper says, all casual. He grabs a twig of the ground, snaps it, then casts it away.  


„I know,” Monty smiles. He bumps Jasper’s shoulders. „Still got me, too.”  


„ ‚m glad,” Jasper says, voice fading into a murmur. „I saw that you got a car.” He lifts one eyelid of his previously closed eyes.  


„You’ve known that I’ve gotten a car,” Monty snorts.  


„Yes, my dear Montgomery,” Jasper nods.  


„Still not called Montgomery,” Monty reminds him, smiling, shoulders brushing.  


„I’ve also known,” Jasper continues, unstirred, „that you’ve promised to go on a road trip once you got one.” He turns his head towards Monty, one eye still closed against the sunlight that’s shining through the foliage above them. „So only one question remains;” he pauzes. 

„When are we going?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think! And, as per usual, if there are any mistakes in grammar or spelling, I'd like to hear it.
> 
> Please let me know what you liked!


	13. The Long Way Home (Nineteen Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't foresee this chapter to be this long, really. It's about 500 words more than the last chapter- again. I just really hope you all enjoy these chapters! 
> 
> This chapter largely takes place in the summer when Jasper's 19 and Monty's 18- at the end of the summer Monty's nineteen as well. Now I did quite some research on the whole student housing thing, but I'm still not that familiar with how everything works. Let's say I have a vague outline of how everything works, and I am aware that some events or things might be a bit unusual the way I wrote them. I still hope it's kind of realistic.  
> I hereby apologize for any errors concerning road trips and/or students housing, as I'm not that familiar with both of these (relatively American) concepts. Hopefully you still enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Oh, and: the road side attractions are real. I researched them.  
> Have fun reading! 
> 
> Up next: neighbors, cooking, a housewarming and some thanksgiving.

„Monty, you need to start thinking about student housing,” his mother says one day when they’re eating dinner out in the garden. Monty pauses mid-bite, fork hovering in front of his face. His mother sighs. „You’re starting university next year, and it’s more convenient to move out- trust me on this.”  


„How about the financials?”  


„Don’t worry about that yet,” Hannah says, taking a bite of the pasta, „worry about finding a place.”

„Okay,” Monty shrugs. He hasn’t been thinking about moving out yet, has mainly just been glad that he graduated. „Where do I start?”

„Decide if you want to live in an apartment or a dorm room,” his mother answers. „Both have pros and cons.”  


Monty thinks about it for a moment. He knows he has to sign up for dorm rooms, and that it’s always a gamble where you’ll end up. You can list your preferences, but that’s no guaranteed for the desired dorm. Dorms are useful because you have everything within reach: a library, study hall, the college rooms, food- probably. All the other people in dorms, social contacts. On the other hand, if he could find an apartment close to campus he’d still have everything within reach, minus the food. So they’d have to cook, but that wouldn’t be a problem if it meant more peace and quiet to study and be at ease. If he wanted to be sociable he could always go to the dorms of the people living there. If he chooses to rent an apartment, he can-  


„If I’m going to live in an apartment, I can share it?” He looks at his mother, hopeful.  


„Depends,” she says, narrowing her eyes playfully, „who do you want to share it with?”  


„Mom,” Monty sighs, playing around with the food on his plate. She’s making it sound like he is in with a bad crowd.  


„I’m not gonna let you share an apartment with Finn, or some random girl,” Hannah says sternly. Monty rolls his eyes. Of course his mother wouldn’t allow him to live with Finn. He knows she doesn’t think too much of him, because of all the parties he throws. She’s heard the rumors, and, if Monty is honest, he can’t really blame her. As a parent he would probably prefer his offspring not to mingle with Finn too, based on the rumors. But Finn was a cool dude, really, working at the animal shelter. Even though he had a bit of a reputation, he had nothing but good in him. Finn was a peacemaker. It was just that sometimes his peacemaking went hand in hand with alcohol.

Which parents obviously didn’t like. 

„Jasper,” he finally says, swallowing, not meeting his mother’s eyes. He can’t see, but his mother smiles, softens even.  


„Of course,” she says, and she sounds relieved, soft, and happy at the same time. „You will have to ask him, and we will have to look for apartments with multiple bedrooms.” 

She looks at her son with a look he can’t determine, an underlying tone suggesting a question instead of a normal conclusion.  Monty feels like she’s suggesting something, and yet-  


„That is, if you want to live in an apartment,” Hannah says casually, taking another bite. Monty nods, trying to finish his plate. A sudden rush of nerves dances through him, nibbling at the insides. The future was becoming now, and later had already started. Soon he would be leaving this neighborhood. Soon, they’d be gone.

„Yeah,” Monty nods, „Yeah, I think so.”

 

* * *

  
Only one week of summer has passed. It feels like an eternity. Jasper could live in this loop forever, intangible yet existing. Days spend on and off in the dusty antiques shop, in the backyard, in the tyre swing. The summer air is muggy, dense upon their skins. Sometimes, it feels like they’re wading through shallow water. Sweat sticks to their skin.

„I got us popsicles,” Jasper announces, sliding down against the oak tree. He hands Monty, who’s relaxing in the tyre swing, one of the popsicles.  


„Thanks Jasp,” Monty sighs happily, „you’re a star.”  


„And you’re a universe,” Jasper grins. He lets the molten ice cool his throat, sweet yet chilling. While he eats his popsicle he closes his eyes, lets the sunlight melt his skin.  


Monty watches, sees how the light drips across the tree, his skin, the ground. Jasper’s skin seems to light up. There’s one droplet rolling down his jaw, down to his neck, where it rests on his-

„Hmm,” Jasper nearly moans. Monty finds his eyes traveling back, drawn to his lips, then his face again. „So good.”  


„Uhuh,” Monty agrees, although he sounds more distracted than he would like. He looks away as Jasper opens one eye. A lazy grin spreads across his face. Monty continues eating the popsicle. 

Jasper does _not_ look at the way his cheeks hollow.

Not at all.

Jasper closes his eyes again and rests his head against the tree.  


„I’m glad you’re here with me,” he mumbles contently, letting the sun warm his skin. Monty turns his head, lets his eyes rest on Jasper, soaks it all in. And he feels that he is glad too; he’s always been glad.

He’d never thought he’d have a friend as close as Jasper.

„Me too,” Monty says, softly swaying. His toes lightly rest on the ground, almost anchoring him and his body, but not quite. He hovers slightly. 

„Let’s go on that road trip,” Jasper then says.  


„What?” Monty reacts surprised, and a bit confused.  


„Tomorrow,” Jasper says. „Let’s go on that road trip. We’ll pack tonight.”  


„We need plans,” Monty says, suddenly noticing that Jasper has opened his eyes.  


„Oh, I’ve got plans Montgomery,” Jasper smiles. „I’ve been planning this since I was sixteen.”  


Monty smiles back.  


„I know,” he says softly, „I just didn’t know your plans would be this concrete.”  


„Well, you promised to go on a road trip-„  


„-so you prepared.”  


„As any smart teenager would do,” grins Jasper cockily. Monty snorts, leaves the tyre swing and stands in front of Jasper. He sticks out his hand, which Jasper happily takes getting to his feet.  


„You don’t have to work for a week, right?” Jasper asks Monty. Monty nods; the owner of the secondhand book- and recordstore had decided to close the shop for the first two and a half weeks of the summer so he could visit family across the states. He didn’t trust anyone else to be in charge, so he gave the few employees he had a few weeks off. Monty hasn’t thought about it too much. He has no plans.  


„Good,” Jasper says, tugging Monty along, not letting go of his hand. They both do not mind.  


„So where’s your evil masterplan?” Monty laughs sitting on the edge of Jasper’s bed. Jasper rummages through the things at his desk, which has grown sloppier over the years. The same plastic dinosaur from ten years ago still decorates his desk, but other things have gone and gone. Underneath piles of paper Jasper finds his map, the notebook with notes about routes, restaurants and motels. He tosses the notebook to Monty while he unfolds the map.  


„We’ll be exploring again,” Jasper says, and there’s a look in his eyes which reminds Monty of when they were eight and running around the neighborhood like crazy, waiting for the streets to whisper its secrets. Excited, curious, mischievous. Sparking with a joy reserved only for their adventures. Thrilled.

 

* * *

 

They pack their bags in the evening. Jasper shows Monty an app which will show them every stop they might need along the way; gasstations, motels, retail services, anything really. Monty realizes Jasper has thought this through more than he expected. It eases his mind.  


Monty: _Which car?_  
Jasper: _Your car!!!_  
Jasper: _part of the deal rmbr_  
Jasper:  _bring the tent_

Monty isn’t a stranger to camping outside. He’s done so for years with his parents, ever since he was a little boy. Camping had been especially magical before he had moved to the suburbs, the easy evening skies in between the trees so different from the pre-lit urban skies he had been used to. Suburban skies were pre-lit as well, smudged by the street lights. It still was different.  
Monty knows what to pack and what to leave; he just needs to climb up a ladder to the attic to get it. 

„Mom,” he says, coming downstairs half an hour past ten. The living room is dimly lit by one light; his mother is correcting last of the papers. „Could you help me-„ he realizes he hasn’t even asked if he could go on a road trip yet. „Jasper asked me to go on a road trip tomorrow.”

His mother pushes her reading glasses up her head, turning to face her son. She looks tired. She _is_ tired; the last days of this year of university are weighing on her, together with the leaving of her husband. It wasn’t that it was a bad thing, on the contrary- it was just such a shift in the way she lead her life, like a bullet shot through her daily routine. Everything had changed. Yet everything has stayed the same. There’s a lot less yelling though, which is good. Hannah Green just wishes she would be done with work, just for a while. Soon, she knows. She would just have to make it through the last days.

„That’s nice.” She smiles at her son. „What did you want to ask?”  


„Could you help pack the car?”

„Of course,” she says, putting down her pen. She sees the way her son looks relieved, shoulders relaxing a bit. Pushing back the chair she gets up, taking some of the luggage from Monty. 

„Did you do a check-up on your car?” Hannah asks.  


„Not yet,” Monty shakes his head. „Jasper kinda overwhelmed me.”  
His mother smiles knowingly, in a way that Monty isn’t sure is appropriate.

„With the whole road trip thing,” he then specifies. His mother makes a humming sound. 

„Let’s first do the check-up,” his mother insists, putting down the luggage on the garage floor. „While everything’s still easily accessible.”

Hannah shows Monty everything, what to check, what to keep in mind, what to be aware of. She explains the differences between types of smoke possibly coming from the car, which both soothes and terrifies Monty. He hopes they will not see any smoke. The car is okay, but it’s second hand, so Hannah tells her son to keep an eye out for any signals of danger. She would’ve told the same had the car been a new one.

„Now as for packing,” Hannah says, cleaning her grease-smeared hands with a rag, „there’s more ways to do it.” She lifts the tent, which is by far the biggest object around.  


„Big things first. You want to keep your tent accessible, but it shouldn’t take up too much space.”  


„Got it,” Monty says, putting the tent in the trunk. It takes some time, but eventually he finds a practical way to pack the car, which doesn’t take too much time.  


„What time do you boys leave?” asks Hannah when they are done, looking at the result. Her hands are resting on her hips. She sighs.

„Mid-day,” Monty says, naming a general time-space because he honestly has no idea. He quickly sends Jasper a text. „Morning,” he says after reading Jasper’s response. He looks at his mother. She’s still looking at the car, a look of nostalgia crossing her face. She then shakes her head, as if to shake the memories away. She’s successful.  


„Let me know what time,” she says, turning towards the door leading to their house. „Get up early so I can say goodbye.”  


„I will,” Monty promises, watching his mother leave the garage. He can’t help but do a quick check-up again. The only thing missing is Jasper’s bag and sleeping bag, now empty spaces in the trunk of his car. He suddenly wonders what it would be like to not have Jasper go with him, to go on this trip alone. But he already knows what it would be like: he simply would not go. Days would be spend in summer heat and empty minds, swimming pools and living rooms. No Jasper. 

Jasper is such an integral part of Monty’s life that he can’t imagine one without him in it. He doesn’t want to, gets frightened when he does. It’s an unresting thought which makes him nervous. Monty feels he doesn’t want to live in a world without Jasper.

  
That thought is equally as terrifying.

 

* * *

 

It’s his alarm that wakes Jasper. He turns around, groaning, but then he remembers: today he’s leaving. He’s leaving with Monty. He tries not to think of all runaway-scenarios crossing his mind. They are not criminals. They are not on the run. Yet.

After a quick shower he throws on an easy t-shirt and some comfortable pants. Jasper knows they will be in the car for most of the day; it’s the way he planned it. His hair dries wavy, a bit curly even. Jasper thinks it makes him look a bit boyish, his mother thinks it makes him look adorable. She doesn’t tell him.  


„Hey mum,” Jasper says, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl, „I’m going on a road trip.” 

He’s about to walk out of the room when his mother stops him in his tracks.  


„What did you say?” she asks, eyebrows raised. She doesn’t sound too happy.  


„I’m going on a road trip?” Jasper repeats, slowly turning around. He looks at his mother with huge puppy eyes. His mother sighs.  


„Who’s taking you on this road trip?” she asks, surrendering; there’s no way she can keep her son from taking this trip, and she knows it. It’s a bit of her stubbornness she’s passed along.  


„Monty,” Jasper answers, his cheeks turning a slight pink. „We’ve got everything planned out.”  


„Do you have chargers with you?” Norah asks. Jasper nods. „Enough water? Food? Sleeping bags? Clothes?”  


„Yes mum,” Jasper says, „and my passport, wallet, spare keys, and my phone.” He looks at her. „We will be fine, I promise.”  
Norah visibly relaxes.

„Okay,” she nods, pulling her son in for a hug. „Keep me updated. Be careful. Don’t have _too_ much fun.” She smiles, releasing her son. „And inform your father.”  


„Will do,” Jasper chirps, giving his mother one last quick hug. „I’ll be back before you know it.”  


„You better be,” his mother smiles, sighing as she sees her son walk out the door. She would have to get used to it, as he’s probably moving out for university. At moments like this Norah wished they’d have another child, or a more affectionate cat. Maybe they should get a dog. 

She makes a note to talk about it with her husband.

 

* * *

  
„Let’s follow this billboard.”

„The one that says ‚airstream ranch’ ?” Monty squints his eyes.  


„Yeah,” Jasper nods, checking if he read it right. The wind is gushing through the car, windows rolled down, Monty’s music on the radio.  


„Allright,” Monty grins, focussing on the road. It’s not long before they pass a collection of Airstreams, pushed into the ground as if they are standing stones.  


„Well, this is odd,” Jasper denotes. „Do you think you can pull over?”  


„I can try,” Monty says, focussing on the traffic. They manage to pull over for a moment, allowing Jasper to take a picture of the Airstreams. He snickers.  


„This is so weird man,” Jasper says. Monty takes a look at the objects, glistening silver in the sunlight.  


„It’s like they tried to recreate stonehenge with Airstreams,” he shakes his head.  


„This is kinda glorious,” Jasper says, unfolding the map in his lap. „It’s like they plummeted down from the sky.”  


„Tossed aside by aliens?” Monty suggest. Jasper grins.  


„Yes!”

„Just like you used to crash your toy cars,” Monty mumbles.  


„Hey, I was just acting out very vivid alien abductions then,” Jasper says, smiling. Monty snorts, then tips his head. 

„I think I’ve read somewhere that there’s an actual stonehenge made out of cars.”  


„A carhenge?”  


„Yeah,” Monty nods while he takes a sip out of his water bottle. He passes it along to Jasper, who’s raising his eyebrows. „It’s in Nebraska.”

„There’s a foam hedge too,” Jasper says in between taking sips. „In Virginia, apparently.”  


„So that’s Stonehenge made out of foam?” Monty concludes.  


„Oh yes,” Jasper nods, „I wonder why people are so obsessed with Stonehenge.”  


„It’s a mystery,” Monty says.  


„Well, I’m a mystery as well,” Jasper shrugs, „and I don’t see people obsessing over me.” 

Monty snorts.  


„Jasper Jordan, you are an open book.”  


„An open book filled with mysteries?” Jasper sounds way too hopeful. Monty starts laughing.  


„Nerd,” he mumbles under his breath, hands on the steering wheel. „Where to next?” 

Jasper shakes the map, as if a location will suddenly fall out of it. With his hand he strikes over the paper, flattening it. He takes the sharpie he brought, makes a mark where they are. Monty leans in, looking at the map.

„No way,” he mutters, blinking, then checking the map again. „No freaking way.”  


„What?” Jasper furrows his eyebrows.  


„Dinosaur World.”  


„Dinosaur World?”  


„Let’s go there,” Monty insists. Jasper doesn’t protest, because really, how could he? It’s _Dinosaur World._ With huge fake dinosaurs, and probably a lot of screaming kids. It’s early on the day, the sun spreading out over the I-4 E. It’s only a eleven minute drive, which Monty’s happy about. It’s an easy drive, there’s no trouble with traffic- which probably has to do with the non-existence of a current holiday season- and maybe it being the middle of the week. There’s enough parking space for the car, but even though it’s early and the middle of the week, there are quite some other cars parked there. They hadn’t really expected it to be tranquil, but it still manages to come as a surprise.

 

„Well, here we are,” Jasper says, getting out of the car. He spreads his arms, raising them to the sky. „Dinosaur World!” He twirls, turns around, turns back to Monty. With every look at the park he gets more and more exited. Monty can see it on his face; there’s an upward twist in the right corner of his mouth, this gleam in his eyes he usually only gets when talking about science or Pluto. Monty locks the car, walks towards Jasper, who’s now just waiting like an impatient puppy ready for a walk. Monty feels gleeful.  


„Do you want excavation passes or regular ones?” the lady behind the counter asks.  


„What’s the difference?”  


„The price,” the lady says, sounding a tad bit annoyed. She probably has been doing this job for too long, or maybe just has a bad day. Jasper and Monty aren’t bothered by it. „And with an excavation pass you can dig fossils and mine dinosaur things and gems.”  


„We’ll take it,” Jasper decides. He then turns to Monty, seeing if he agrees. Monty agrees, soft look on his face. He’ll pay any price to see Jasper this happy.  


He also really wants to dig up fossils.

„Great,” the lady says, „two excavation tickets for adults. Here you go.”

 

* * *

 

Dinosaur World is great. Jasper takes a lot of pictures, flashes his camera at every humongous dinosaur hidden in plain sight. He makes sure he gets pictures of Monty near the dinosaurs, or even on top of them. Jasper almost falls off of one of the statues, a cut running down his leg. They have to sit down for a moment before tending it because they’re laughing too hard. Monty can’t get over the face Jasper pulled when falling down, which he has captured perfectly on camera. It’s horrible and it’s glorious. At the end of the day Jasper almost has tears running down his cheeks from laughing so much. They are nothing but huge kids stuck between toddlers and tired grown-ups. Monty feels magnificent. It’s the weirdest thing to be surrounded by dinosaurs, but then it’s not. It’s great.  


„Come on,” he says, taking Jasper’s wrist, pulling him along. „I want to get a picture of us. On that dinosaur.” He points to a Triceratops. Jasper doesn’t protest, just tries to calm his beating heart as Monty tugs him along.  


„Excuse me, miss,” he says to a woman standing still on the path. „Would you please take a picture of me and my friend?”  


„Sure thing,” the woman says, „just make sure to be quick.”  


Monty explains how the camera works, then climbs the dinosaur in a rapid speed. He ends up sitting behind Jasper, doing some kind of weird pose. He hears the camera click a few times before they hop off smoothly, approaching the woman again.  


„Thank you,” they both thank her.  


„You know you’re not allowed to climb the statues,” the woman says with a wink, before handing over the camera. „No worries, I will keep my mouth shut.”

 

* * *

 

„My turn,” Jasper says, dangling with the car keys. There’s only two days left on their road trip, dusty air blowing across the land. It’s hot and they’ve never been so happy to have packed this many bottles of water. Except for some minor things, the car hasn’t had any trouble. It’s been quite phenomenal; the highways, the village they came across, every single sight. From outstretched roads to forest, trees reaching for the sky, fields plummeting towards the edge of their worlds. They’ve stayed in hotels, have camped outside, slept in a crappy and slightly creepy motel-. It has been everything they expected and so much more, the same songs on repeat.

„My music,” Jasper says, putting the keys in the ignition. There’s only a second before the Beach Boys start playing, even though it’s more coincidence than anything else this time. Jasper’s made a mix with songs ranging from Abba to the Rolling Stones.  


„ _A diamond necklace played the pawn, hand in hand some drummed along, oh, to a handsome mannered baton,”_ sings the voice on the radio. Monty and Jasper both hum along, familiar with the lyrics now. They’ve gotten to a point where they don’t ask each other where they going anymore, they just drive. It’s the way they imagined it to be. 

„To our last day on the road together,” Jasper says, raising his glass. They’re sitting in a diner, hands curled around a glass of coke, plates of fries in front of them.  


„May we count many more,” Monty says, clinging his glass against Jasper’s. Jasper raises his eyebrows, playful.  


„On the road, or together?” There’s a slight tease in his voice.

„Both,” Monty grins before taking a sip. There’s a comfortable silence in which both boys eat.

 

* * *

 

„The only room left has a double bed instead of two singles,” the receptionist says, „will this be a problem?”  


„No, not at all,” Monty says, looking questioningly at Jasper. He hopes Jasper doesn’t think it’s a problem; this is the best option they have by far. Besides, they used to fall asleep in the same bed all the time when they were younger. The only thing that’s really changed is their bodies.

Oh.

Jasper looks nervous, but nods, agreeing that it won’t be a problem.  


„As long as we can sleep,” Jasper says, „it should be fine.”  


„Well then,” the receptionist says, eying the both of them. „Please fill out the forms. I’ll get you the key when you are done.” 

As the receptionist said, they receive the key when they’re done filling out the papers. Jasper and Monty walk down the hallway. Their room is located on the left, nearly at the end. It’s nothing special, nothing luxurious. The wallpaper’s a sandy brown, some vague kind of beige. The last glimpses of sunlight are desperately trying to crawl through the window, barely illuminating the carpet. There’s a double pushed to the wall, a green blanket covering it. On each side of the bed there’s a wooden bedside table, and there’s a small closet opposite of the bed. A wooden door leads to a tiny bathroom with a shower, sink, and toilet. Nothing special. Just enough.  


Jasper drops his bag on the bed.  


„Mind if I take a shower first?” he asks, zipping open the bag. Monty shakes his head.  


„I’ll go after you,” he smiles, taking out his phone. At a rapid pace he types a message to his mother. He still has to ask Jasper if he wants to share an apartment. 

He fears something might be stopping him, even though he doesn’t know what. Maybe it’s that weird tipping of balance again. He doesn’t want to be rejected, although rationally Monty knows that’s not really a thing to be afraid of. Even if Jasper doesn’t want to live together with him, there’s a way he will find to say it carefully. Honestly.

Monty gets kind of nervous thinking about the question, which takes up the air in the room, looms over him. He lies on the bed and stares at the ceiling, missing the way his stars shine for him. The sound of water running distracts him, but only temporarily. He wishes he could swim in a swimming pool.

„Your turn,” Jasper says, emerging from the bathroom, light behind his head like a TL-induced halo. Monty sits up straight, feel his eyes scan Jasper’s bare torso, still partly wet from taking a shower. His heart rate spikes.  


„Jasper,” he says, quickly searching to meet Jasper’s eyes. Jasper looks at him curiously. Monty gets up, awkwardly. Why did he have to pick now of all moments? „Do you want to share an apartment?”  


Jasper looks a little dumbfounded. Monty fears for a moment there might be shock. His heart keeps pumping ferociously.  
One beat, two beats. Jasper opens his mouth and closes it again.

„You mean-„ he blinks a few times. „For uni?”  


Monty nods, relieved. There’s still a tension in his shoulders, making his muscles sore. Jasper breathes. Little does Monty know that his heart is racing too.  


„Yes,” Jasper says. Monty looks up, blinks, surprised.  


„Yes?” he asks, sounding aghast.  


„Yes,” Jasper confirms, walking up to Monty. „Yes, of course you _dweeb_.” He mutters the last part affectionately in Monty’s hair, arms flung around his best friend. The rush of blood is echoing in his ears, but he doesn’t care. The embrace is tight.  


„Thank you,” Monty says, arms wrapped around Jasper’s naked torso. He can feel the muscles move. His breath hitches, and he releases his best friend. „I’m going to take a shower.”

He heads to the bedroom, turning on the shower. The mirror is still foggy from moments ago, a smiley face drawn in it. When Monty steps into the shower the water is gentle on his skin.

 

Jasper lies on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He debates whether or not he should put on a shirt, seeing as it’s still pretty hot outside, and seeing as he will be staying in the same bed as Monty. He feels that the best way to go might be a tanktop, but he hasn’t brought one. Jasper figures that he can put on a shirt and take it off if it gets too hot. It feels weird though. Maybe he should just go for shirtless. He doesn’t look up when Monty walks out of the bathroom. 

He _doesn’t_.

Monty throws on a shirt, turns the lights in the bathroom off. Their bags are on the floor now.

There’s no questioning who sleeps on which side of the bed. Monty takes the left side, Jasper the right. They lay down beneath the blanket, have to share the duvet. When Monty turns the bedside lamp off, there’s an absolute darkness surrounding them.  


„Hey,” Jasper whispers softly, „remember the otters?”  


„Yeah.”  


„Females cradle their pups on their chest to keep their fur away from the cold water, attentively grooming its fur.”  


„Good thing there’s no water surrounding us,” Monty smiles. He knows his face is turned towards Jasper’s, even though he can’t see anything. They’re lying in close proximity to each other.  


„Actually, I think I might still be damp from taking a shower,” Jasper chuckles, looking at what he believes to be Monty’s face. It’s all darkness. He presses the back of his cold hand against Monty’s neck.  


„Darnit Jordan,” Monty says, but there’s no anger behind it. He swats away Jasper’s hand, laughing. Jasper relaxes his arm and hand, which eventually leads to it being send flying when swatted away. His arm lands somewhere between their bodies. For a moment it’s quiet, and then Jasper squirms.  


„Damnit Green,” he hisses, then laughs. Monty has pressed his very cold feet agains his shins, causing Jasper to have goosebumps. Jasper clamps 

Monty’s feet between his lower legs, capturing him.  


„Ghm,” Monty groans, trying to move. He’s lying on his side, not able to turn around. „This is uncomfortable.”  


„Should’ve thought of that before sticking your feet against my legs,” Jasper retorts. „You’ll never escape.” He attempts to laugh evilly, which sends 

Monty in a fit of giggles.  


„You sounded like a roaring kitten,” Monty hiccups. He moves closer. Jasper hears Monty’s breathing, and notices how his own heart is pounding  vividly. There’s so much possibility, it’s making Jasper anxious.  


„You’re still not going to escape,” Jasper says, still shutting in Monty’s feet and ankles with his lower legs. Monty yawns.  


„Whatever you say,” he wiggles his shoulders, adjusts his position. He scoots closer, trying to get into a comfortable position. „Then I should probably make the most of it.”  


„Yeah,” Jasper says softly. It isn’t long before Monty’s snoring softly, curled up against his chest, bare legs touching. There’s something new yet familiar about the touch, something he can’t pinpoint. He can feel his eyes drifting, fluttering close. Jasper moves his arm, shifts to get into a more comfortable position. Monty’s hair’s still damp against his chest, but he doesn’t mind. He savors the feeling.

 

* * *

 

Monty’s phone rings.  
„Hello son,” the voice at the other end of the line greets him, „do you have time to meet me today?”

Monty turns around, sleep-charged. His sheets are a mess; he must’ve kicked them off while he was asleep. His alarm clock shows him the time: nine am. It’s monday, and there’s only one week of summer left. One week before university starts. Monty isn’t nervous about that. He is, however, nervous about the fact that he still hasn’t managed to find an apartment. They’ve sat down, he, his mother, Jasper and his parents, talked about every possible detail. How they’re going to split the costs, things like that. But time is running out.

„Monty?” His father voice reminds him that he was having a phone call.  


„Yes, yeah, I do have time,” Monty says, stretching. „When should I meet you?”  


„I’ll pick you up, I got something to show you,” his father sounds excited, sparking Monty’s curiosity.„Be ready in half an hour.”  


„Okay,” Monty says, „see you in a few.”

After his father hangs up he jumps out of bed, quickly throwing on some shorts and a t-shirt. Monty straightens his bed before heading downstairs, where his mother is making breakfast in the kitchen.  


„Didn’t think you’d be up this early,” Hannah smiles at him. „Do you want some as well?”  


„Yes please,” Monty says, taking a plate out of the cupboard. His mother cracks another egg and puts two slices of bread in the toaster.  


„Coffee?” she asks, and Monty shakes his head. He’s not feeling up for it, so he takes the carton of orange juice out of the fridge and pours himself a glass.

„Mom, you’ll be okay, right?” he asks, interrupting his mother’s soft humming. Hannah Green turns a round, an inscrutable look on her face lingering somewhere between worried, confused and surprised.  


„Of course,” she says. „Why?”  


„Well, with me going away, living in an apartment-„ Monty shrugs. „I don’t want you to be alone.”  


„I’ll be fine on my own, Monty,” his mother smiles. When Monty looks at her he can see that she means it. She really will be fine.  
It comforts him.

„Dad called,” Monty tells his mother. „He’ll be here in a few minutes. Said he wanted to show me something?”  


His mother nods, as if she knows what it’s about. This surprises Monty. Clearly there has been some kind of change in contact between his parents. He hopes it’s for the better.  


„I’ll be off to the farmers market, so take your keys with you just in case I’m not home when you get back.”  


„Will do,” Monty nods. He hears a car drive down the street, recognizes the familiar sound of the engine of his father’s car. He gives his mother a quick hug before grabbing his keys and leaving through the front door. „See you!”  


„Bye!” he hears his mother call. He gives a quick wave and gets into his father’s car.

 

„Where are we going?” Monty asks while securing his seat belt. His father smiles at him.

„You’ll see.”  


It’s not that long a drive, zigzagging through the city. Monty knows his father lives in a small loft now, near the city centre. He also knows this isn’t the route to it. The further they get, the more his curiosity grows.  


„We’re here,” his father says, parking the car in some dodgy square squeezed in between buildings. It’s small in a way that it’s almost claustrophobic, the buildings towering around them. He gets out of the car, followed by Monty.  


„What are we doing here?”

„I heard you were looking for a place to stay,” his father smiles. „Follow me, I’ll show you.”  
They are met by a friendly looking woman, who smiles brightly at them.

„Mister Green?” she asks, and Monty’s father nods. „Good,” she says, turning around, leading them upstairs. They stop at a white door decorated with a small set of numbers. The apartment itself is situated on the third floor. The hall looks a bit old, but otherwise clean. It’s a lot better than some of the buildings they have seen so far. They are shown around the apartment. It isn’t big, spacey or large, but it’s enough. There are two separate bedrooms, a tiny kitchen and a clean bathroom. The landlady informs them about lots of things ranging from paying rent to filing complaints about neighbors, but it all gets past Monty. He’s just feeling a little overwhelmed with how much he can imagine himself living there, preparing for his exams, everything. He can imagine Jasper sitting on the ugly fauteuil by the window. He can imagine leaning against the kitchen wall while the other cooks. He can imagine late nights spending gaming and ordering pizza.

It’s as if he’s stepped into his future.

Eventually, it’s this apartment they’re going to live in. When Jasper’s taken on a walk through every single shred of doubt either Greens or Jordans had disappear. It’s just right. The landlady introduces herself as Indra, and before they know it they are shaking hands and getting the keys handed to them. Signing the contract is no problem.

 

On his nineteenth birthday, Monty Green moves in with Jasper Jordan.

The apartment is filled with boxes and creaking furniture. The first thing Dave Green installs is his old record player.  


„For old times’ sake,” he says, smiling at his son as he puts on a record of Frank Sinatra. The whole day they’re unpacking, making the apartment in order. At the end of the day, both boys are exhausted. They don’t mind.  


„I’m saying we order a celebratory pizza,” Jasper says, lying outstretched on the navy couch in their living area. Monty sags away in the big armchair, sighing. Their parents have left an hour ago, wishing the boys good luck, tightly hugging them. Jasper noticed that his mother tried not to cry, but eventually failed. He promised her to be around in the weekends, and she’d smiled. It’s going to be weird to live without his parents. In the background an Abba record is playing, upbeat but a bit croaking. „I brought candles.”  


„Instead of pie?”  


„Candles are candles,” Jasper shrugs. „And I’m hungry. I think it’ll be a good combination.”  


„A birthday pizza,” Monty nods, his stomach growling. „Let’s do it!”  


„Should we invite the neighbors?” Jasper asks, searching for his phone in his pockets. Monty furrows his eyebrows, thinking about it for a while.  


„Well, on our right there lives this middle-aged woman who always looks at me like I stole her chihuahua.”  


„Great! Let’s invite her over.” Jasper grins while Monty groans.  


„Please let’s not,” he says.  


„Okay, but only because it’s your birthday,” Jasper sighs, pretending to be annoyed. Monty snorts. „How about the people on the right? Didn’t Indra say they were supposedly our age?”  


„Yes,” Monty nods. Jasper gets up, then pulls Monty to his feet. „Let’s go check them out then.”  


He opens the apartment door, waiting for Monty to follow him. Monty is a bit reluctant in walking, muscles sore from moving all the furniture and boxes around all day. When he finally shows up next to Jasper, Jasper’s already on his way to the next door. He knocks firmly, a few times, before the door’s opened. A grumpy looking adolescent opens the door, already looking annoyed at their arrival.  


„What?” he asks, sounding like he wants to murder Jasper. Jasper is quiet for a moment, although Monty doesn’t understand why. He wants to explain what they’re doing there when the young man opens the door a bit further, annoyed glance replaced with a look of surprise.  


„Jordan?” he calls out from the doorway, sounding as flabbergasted as he just looked. There's a heartbeat filled with silence.  


„Murphy?” Jasper then says, eyebrows furrowed, not able to keep a confused tone out of his voice.   


The young man takes another look at Jasper and then starts to grin a sharp shark-like grin.  


„Fancy meeting you here,” he says. „What are you doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! If you enjoyed this, please let me know! 
> 
> Also, if there are any errors to be found, I'd like to know. This chapter is completely unbeta'd, so if you find anything odd or out of place please let me know so I can fix it :)


	14. Touch & Turn (Twenty Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I've really outdone myself this time. 7000 words, holy moly! (that's like thrice the amount of words of the first chapter, but not exactly) Again, completely unbeta'd, so if there's any mistakes I'd like to hear it! 
> 
> Specific chapter warnings for foul language and sexual tension? I mean, Murphy's reintroduced, so you can kinda expect the swearing. At the start of the chapter they're still nineteen- actually, for the biggest part of the chapter they're nineteen, until otherwise mentioned.
> 
> also, when is monty going to realize? I don't know! (well, I do, but I can't hear you over jasper singing golden oldies)
> 
> have fun reading!

 

Loving Monty Green had always been this: holding out hands, small private smiles, laughing at jokes only they understood. Late nights and early mornings and explorations of the streets. The strum of a guitar and a honey-lit voice, scraped knees and stories read. An endless patience and a never-ending jitter.  A flutter of eyelashes upon cheeks, bike rides on gravel, and being together even when they were alone. 

It had also always been tyre swings, ice-cream melting on your tongue on a hot summer’s day, universes and galaxies and constellations colliding. Sparks when a single finger danced upon Jasper’s skin, a familiar touch, ordinarily at ease. A hitch in your breath. A flash of a smile.

Every time Jasper Jordan saw Monty Green smile his unapologetic, honest-to-God true smile, he imploded. 

Loving Monty Green was a burning pit, and Jasper Jordan was willing to throw himself in it.

 

* * *

 

„ _If you change your mind, I’m the first in line_ ,” Jasper shamelessly sings, walking around in nothing but shorts. It’s tuesday, his college finished early, and Monty will be home late, a result of college in combination with his shift at the record store. Jasper gets a knife and cutting board, vegetables from the fridge. His head is bobbing to the music blasting through his phone speaker as he mutters the couplet.  


„ _Let me tell you now!_ ” Jasper nearly yells before continuing to sing, „ _So much that I wanna do, when I dream I’m alone with you, it’s magic._ ” 

He’s dancing to the music, hips moving in time with the beat. Jasper knows he’s one of the world’s worst dancers, but he doesn’t care. He’s feeling good.  


„ _But I think you know_ ,” he sings while preparing dinner. He pauses, stands still. „ _That I can’t let gooo_ ”

The cutting of the vegetables goes very smoothly.  


„ _If you change your mind, I’m the first in line, honey I’m still free, take a chance on_ -„ when Jasper turns around to drop the vegetables in the pan on the stove he freezes, stops to sing.

Oh no.   


Monty’s standing in the doorway, a grin apparent on his face. Jasper knows that look. It’s a look of amusement mixed with mischief. 

„ _-me_ ,” Jasper, finishes squeakily, completely out of time with the song, finally dropping the vegetables in the pan. He feels his cheeks heat up, turns around awkwardly.

„ _If you’re all alone, when the pretty birds have flown_ ,” Monty continues for him, dropping his bag on the couch. „ _Honey I’m still free-_ „  


Jasper can hear Monty approaching, his singing voice a liquid honey gold to his ears. „ _-take a chance on me_ ,” Jasper softly finishes. Monty looks in the pan to see what they’re eating.  


„ _Gonna do my very best_ ,” Monty continues, poking Jasper in the side. Jasper squeals, flailing his arms around. He hears Monty laugh and prods his best friend softly with his elbow. „And it ain’t no lie-„ Monty continues laughingly. He bumps his hip against Jasper’s, who stumbles.  


„You just want me out of this kitchen, don’t you?” Jasper says, shaking his head.  


„Well it’s very cosy if you stay,” Monty shrugs.  


„Cosy?” Jasper raises an eyebrow. Their kitchen consists of a low fridge, a sink, a stove, and two kitchen counters, one on which a small coffeemaker and fruit bowl are stood. Cosy was one way to describe it- if there were two people in it, their kitchen was full. „That’s one way to put it.”  


„I like it,” Monty says, slowly moving more towards the sink. „I’ll cook today.”  


„Sure?” Jasper asks, stepping aside. Monty nods, a determined look on his face. He had to cook someday. The past week Jasper’s been cooking continually.  


„Just put on a shirt,” Monty says, teasing tone in his voice. Jasper huffs playfully.  


„What, is this too distracting for you?” Jasper gestures towards his torso. „Didn’t hear you complain in the hotel.”  


„I was asleep in the hotel,” Monty laughs, a blush creeping up his neck. He remembers falling asleep, head resting against Jasper’s chest. It had been nice, but he supposes it’s just nice to have someone to fall asleep with. He doesn’t know- Monty doesn’t think he ever had someone like that. He softly swats Jasper’s hand away when it comes to take his phone. Jasper sighs.  


„I’ll take a shower, okay?” Monty makes an agreeable noise. Jasper walks up to his room, pulls out a change of clean clothes. He just has to walk a small distance through the living room to their bathroom. 

Everything is going well-

-until he hears Monty curse when he’s drying himself off. 

There’s a crash, followed by more cursing and clattering. Jasper quickly changes, puts on clothes, before rushing towards the kitchen.  


„I think dinner’s ready,” Monty says, looking slightly scared.  


„You okay?” Jasper asks, because it sounded like Monty was not.  


„I am,” Monty says, „the food- I’m not sure.”

There’s smoke coming from the frying pan.

„Oh dear.”

 

* * *

 

It is wednesday night, and wednesday nights never have been anything special. They aren’t now- there’s not much to do; both Jasper and Monty have introduction their first week. No homework. Just socializing and being introduced to university. The apartment is everything they wished for and less. It’s not big, by far. A kingsize bed and a bedside table with a crappy tv is practically everything that fits into Jasper’s bedroom, alongside with a small dresser; he does his homework at their square dinnertable. Jasper doesn’t mind; he likes the way he only has to take two small steps to be able to collapse on his bed. Heck, he can jump onto his bed from the doorway if he likes. Monty’s room is slightly bigger, and Jasper figures this is fair. After all, he’s the one who officially rents the apartment. There’s two kingsized mattresses stacked atop of each other on the left, a bookshelf reaching to the ceiling pushed back against the right wall, and a desk with chair next to it. A low wardrobe is placed under one of the windows. It’s all that fits into Monty’s room; it’s all he needs.

Two old and very soft couches decorate their small living room, alongside with a small cabinet with an old tv on top of it, a coffee table and another small table on which their record player rests. Jasper loves their kitchen, small and slightly inconvenient, like the streets in their childhood neighborhood are compared to the three-lane drives cutting through the city. If Jasper’s honest he’s glad he doesn’t have to drive his car through the city; it’s nearly impossible with the level of crazy city traffic tends to get. Jasper and Monty are happy to take the bus, metro, or drive a bike. 

A square table is pushed against the left wall, just in front of the kitchen, with three different colored chairs around it. It’s a bit of a fix-up, but definitely has its own charm. The white brick wall, the slightly overgrown plant standing on top of the top shelf on their kitchen wall, Jasper loves all of it. Monty loves the record player in between the couches; the record collection next to it. The way the music fills the apartment, reaches every corner and nook. He loves the Deadpool poster Jasper put up, the posters of the solar system and moon phases and every constellation he hang on the wall, likes the room plants they have. He feels at ease. Soon, he might be calling it home. It’s cool. It’s wednesday night and there’s nothing to do.

Jasper knows Murphy from a holiday six years ago. They both feel it’s odd, running into each other again like this -living next to each other, but neither of them is complaining. Murphy’s pretty cool, Jasper thinks. And Jasper is not that bad, Murphy notices. They get along, which surprises everyone. There’s a sudden vehement knocking on their front door. Monty opens it, at the same time as the bleeping of his phone. An unread message. Monty’s distracted by his phone while he opens the message, scans the text in the ‚kids from the BLOCK’ chat.

**Raven:** so when can we crash your party?  
**Raven:** your ULTRABIRTHDAYHOUSEWARMING-PARTY  
**Octavia** : or, as she likes to call it: UBHW  
**Wells** : that sounds kinda horrible

 

„Finally,” Murphy growls when Monty’s answered. Monty thinks he probably should start getting used to the growling.  
  
„Murphy!” Jasper calls cheerily from the dinnertable. Murphy growls again. Monty hears Jasper typing and takes out his phone to see what he’s typing.

 

 **Octavia** : I DON’T CARE  
**Raven** : Moooonty, Jaaaasperrr…  
**Jasper** : at your service!  
**Raven** : Good!  
**Clarke** : HARPER  
**Clarke** : MONROE  
**Clarke** : HELP

 

„Hey!” Murphy says, sounding a bit offended. He snaps his fingers in front of Monty’s face, trying to get past him. Monty holds up one hand.

„Just a second,” he says as he quickly types his response.

 

 **Monty:** saturday  
**Bryan** : ?  
**Jasper:** party @our place  
**Monty:** bring gifts  
**Jasper:** lots of them

 

„Hey Murphy!” Jasper shouts at a now very annoyed looking Murphy. „Housewarming this saturday. Be there or be circular.”  


„That doesn’t even makes sense,” Murphy complains, even though he doesn’t sound that annoyed anymore. There’s even a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. „But sure, I’ll be there. A bit later because of my shift at work tho.”  


„No problemo, my friend,” Jasper grins. Murphy looks like he wants to protest, but then just sighs and shakes his head. Jasper continues typing.

  
**Jasper:** We’ll bring the nieighbor  
**Clarke:** GIRLS I NEED YOU **  
** Jasper: *neighbor **  
** Octavia: Is he cute? **  
** Clarke: YES  
**Clarke:** SORRY I misread  
**Bryan:** Nathan’s always cute  
**Miller:** u r making me blush here babe  
**Harper:** the only babe here is Monroe  
**Miller:** I’d like to kindly disagree  
**Clarke:** HARPER HELP ME  
**Wells:** what’s the matter?  
**Jasper:** I’m kinda curious  
**Octavia:** so the neighbor’s not cute? **  
** Jasper: that’ll be up for you to decide  
**Fox:** O, you have a boyfriend

 

„Come on in,” Monty finally says, allowing Murphy to step inside.  


„I only need a big spoon,” Murphy grumbles.  


„I can be your big spoon,” Jasper chirps. Murphy shoots him a look.  


„Not that kind of spoon.”

„Your loss,” Jasper shrugs, continuing with the last of his homework. Murphy walks past him and opens the drawer filled with cutlery. 

**  
** Monty: Murphy can look somewhat intimidating  
**Miller:** NO WAY  
**Jasper:** YES WAY  
**Bryan:** wait what? **  
** Miller: I’ll be coming for sure  
**Clarke:** HARPER  
**Harper:** Yes, my fair lady? **  
Clarke:** I need your help

 

„Just make sure you bring it back!” 

„Sure thing, sugarplum!” Murphy calls back sarcastically, walking out of the apartment.  
  
„Well, that could’ve gone worse.”

 

 **Clarke:** there’s this girl in my class  
**Clarke:** she’s hot  
**Jasper** : oh no  
**Jasper** : she’s hot  
**Monroe** : what did I miss?  
**Raven** : PARTY @JONTY’S PLACE COMING SATURDAY

 

„Jonty?” Jasper laughs one dry laugh. He tries not to think about it too much. Monty closes the door.  


„Am I ever gonna know how to handle Murphy?”  


„Of course,” Jasper chirps. „You’ll probably know by saturday.” 

Monty smiles an honest smile. Jasper implodes.

 

**Jasper** : the girl in clarke’s class

Jasper pauses before typing another response.

**Jasper** : she’s hot

 

Just like Monty, Jasper thinks, but he doesn’t type that. He’d be crazy to type that- or probably pretty drunk. He shifts in his seat. Monty emerges from his bedroom. His backpack has disappeared from the couch, so Jasper assumes he has just put it away.  


„Hey,” he says, „how was your day?”

„Good,” Monty answers, settling. They can almost feel time crawling away from them. Jasper moves, gets up.  


„Let’s watch a movie,” he proposes. Monty nods and Jasper moves to project his laptop onto the tv. 

They end up watching Big Hero Six, which they both love; Monty can’t help but to cry at Hiro. Jasper notices, watches how a tear rolls down his cheek, and then realizes- he has never seen Monty cry. Not when he scraped his knees or elbows, not when his parents were fighting all the time- it takes Jasper by surprise, hitting him hard. In all those years he has never seen him cry. 

Jasper wraps his arms around Monty, holding him close, and Monty lets him.  


„Dweeb,” Jasper mutters, and Monty laughs, his voice clear. He gives Jasper a small push, but there’s no anger behind it. Instead of attacking any further he relaxes, head propped against Jasper’s shoulder like they’ve always done when watching Star Wars. Jasper pulls a blanket around them, then puts his arms back around Monty. Monty sighs.

 

* * *

 

„I heard there was a party somewhere?” Miller grins, arriving with three boxes filled with pizza. Margherita, pepperoni and some weird type with everything on it- except for pineapple. He’s one of the first people at the apartment. After him follows Bryan, holding two large bottles of coke. Raven enters with a bottle of Jack, completely wrapped in ribbons.   


„Happy birthday cupcake,” she says before pressing a kiss to Monty’s cheek and handing him the bottle. „And congrats on your little nest!” She wraps her arms tightly around Jasper. „Beats my dorm room, if I’m being honest.” 

„How’s your roommate?”  


„Okay, I suppose,” Raven shrugs. „Not as cool as you.”  


„It’s hard to be as cool as me,” Jasper feigns his cockiness. „I’m totally awesome.”  


„Monty!” Raven says, raising her voice, „he didn’t say smawesome!”  


„Oh golly,” Jasper says, pouting, „totally missed my chance!”

„Glad you did,” Raven fakes a smile. „My ears love not to bleed.” Jasper snorts.  


„JASPER!” Octavia nearly comes running through the door, flinging her arms around Jasper, then Monty. She’s very enthusiastic in her greeting.  


„O,” Jasper says, swallowing, „who’s the fella standing over there?”  


There’s a man with quite some muscles standing in front of the doorway, a tattoo gracing his arm. He has no hair, only the vague remnants of a mohawk.

„Oh that’s my travel companion annex my selfdefense-tutor,” Octavia tells them airily. Jasper meekly waves at him.  


„Annex boyfriend,” the man says, sticking out his hand. „Lincoln.”  


„Like the president?” is the first thing Jasper manages to say. He groans inwardly.  


„Yes,” Lincoln answers, then enters the apartment. He congratulates Monty and sits on the couch. It isn’t long before people are spilling all over the apartment; Bellamy arrives alongside with Harper and Monroe. He brings the biggest bouquet of flowers ‚because everything looks better with flowers’. He then continues to give Monty some special brand of beer and shrugs. Fox, Wells and Clarke arrive together, having composed a whole giftset, containing a suspicious amount of candles. When asked, Clarke tells them her roommate Lexa works in some candle-selling place and had brought them because she bought them with a lot of discount. Clarke then adds that she hopes Jasper won’t burn the place down, earning a snicker from both Wells and Monty. Last to arrive is Murphy, who comes barging in late. He doesn’t even knock, just uses the spare key of the apartment hidden in case of emergency. His shoulders are slumped. He walks in calmly, observing all the people that are strangers to him. Then his eyes find somebody familiar.  


„Nathan,” Murphy’s grin is sharp, „you’ve looked better.”  


„You haven’t,” Miller responds, getting up to embrace Murphy. It’s their joke, really, because Murphy’s usually the one looking like shit, and tonight is no exception.  


„You two know each other?” Jasper asks, sounding astonished.  


„Yeah,” Miller nods, patting Murphy on his shoulder. „High school.”  


Murphy vaguely gestures towards Bryan, whom he has met a few times. Bryan waves.  


„It’s a small world,” Murphy says, taking a seat. Jasper nods. There’s a sudden ringing of glass, the sound of a knife connecting with a cheap wine glass. Monroe clears her throat.  


„Since we’re all here, I’d like to say a few words,” she begins. „Now I could probably go on for ages as we’ve all grown up together and share quite some memories- no offense Murphy- but I won’t. I’m just here to wish you two all the best, and of course-„ Monroe signals to Harper, who hands her Monty’s guitar, „happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you-„ the others are joining. „Happy birthday dear Monty- happy birthday to you.” Wells brings them a cake with burning candles in it. Monty watches as they put it in front of him, cheering on for him to make a wish. He doesn’t know what to wish for, though. There isn’t anything he particularly desires.

He closes his eyes and blows out the candles.

There’s a cheering and a click, the sound of a polaroid camera being used. It’s a bit of a mess with their friends scattered all over the apartment, chatting cheerily. It’s a good night.

 

„So what’s the deal with you and that Monty guy anyway?” Murphy asks Jasper when they’re sitting next to each other and everyone else is engaged in some discussion about dolphins. Jasper looks alarmed. „You two look at each other like the sun’s shining out of your asses. Both of you. And you share an apartment-„ Jasper continues to look alarmed, heart beating rapidly. Murphy takes a sip of his drink. „-you guys banging?”  
  
Jasper nearly chokes on his own drink.

„What?” he stage-whispers, turning a deep shade of red, desperately trying not of the previously mentioned act. He fails spectacularly. 

„Hey, no shame if so,” Murphy shrugs, taking another swig. „I mean, I’d bang-„ he eyes Bellamy, who’s laughing about something Octavia told  Bryan, who looks kind of confused and slightly scared, „-Bellomy? That hot guy. Or let him bang me.”  


„Never been picky, huh, John?” Miller grins. Jasper nearly has a heart attack.  


„Oh come on,” Murphy grunts. Then he turns to Jasper, who’s mind’s still partly thinking about a half naked Monty in bed. His ears are still red. Murphy seems to take his silence as some sort of sign. „You aren’t some kind of homophobic assholes, right?”  


„You know I’m not,” Miller shrugs. Murphy rolls his eyes.  


„I’m bi,” Jasper weakly offers.  


„You can be bi and a homophobic asshole,” Murphy says, „believe me, I’ve seen it. But no banging?”  


„N-no,” Jasper answers less smoothly than he tried to go for, then swallows. „I’m gonna get myself- some-„ he vaguely gestures to his glass, which is still partly filled. Miller raises an eyebrow.  


„You’re the world’s subtlest motherfucker,” he says affectionately to Murphy. Murphy shrugs.  


„Don’t care,” he says, noticing Monroe and Harper holding hands, Raven laughing, Bellamy meeting his eye. He looks away. „He single?” he asks, indicating ‚he’ to be Bellamy.  


„He works at the flowershop,” Miller answers.  


„Which one?”  


„Figure it out,” he smiles before leaving to sit with his boyfriend. Murphy grunts unsatisfied. Meanwhile, Jasper is standing in the kitchen, looking into a refrigerator filled with groceries, trying to forget about the way Monty had looked emerging from the shower, the way his touch felt upon his skin, the way his-  


„Jasp, are you allright? You have been staring into this fridge for about five minutes.”  


„I’m fine,” Jasper quickly answers, shutting the fridge and getting up. „Just looking for-„ he looks around, „the cake?”

 

* * *

 

Monty continues working at the record store. He likes it, and it’s a steady job. Roan, the recordstore-owner, fixes his schedule to fit with university. He’s glad to have Monty around, so he’ll gladly let him work some extra hours if he wants to. He knows what it is like to be a student, and how crazy expenses could get. He was a student once.

A few years ago. 

Jasper switches jobs. Actually, he gets fired for his job at the antiquary, which surprises neither Jasper nor Monty. They’ve seen this coming; Jasper was allowed to work less by the week. Monty actually finds it a relieve; the job had been quite far away. He couldn’t help but worry if Jasper hadn’t made it home late-night, wondering if anything had happened. He just wanted his best friend to be okay. 

The new job Jasper gets is as a barista, in a little café near campus. He gets to work a variation of shifts, flexible and adjustable to his classes. His boss is a lovely person, and the café itself closes at seven, which means he’ll never has to work nights. Jasper’s happy; actually helping people is a thing he enjoys. It’s better than dusting away in the antiquary. Plus, he gets to try the weird new drinks his boss creates; they’re good. Very _good_.

 

* * *

 

Monty’s lying on the couch when Jasper comes home soaking wet. It’s raining cats and dogs outside- the weather is downright horrible. Raven’s sitting on the other couch, mumbling some things, occasionally posing questions which Monty answers. Monty wonders if he could manage to find some glow-in-the-dark stars and planets to put on his ceiling.

„Lovely weather,” Jasper pants, making Monty aware of his arrival. Monty sits up, looks at his best friend, soaking from all the rain. Jasper had been wearing a shirt and jeans, seeing as it hadn’t been that cold. That shirt is now sticking to his torso, vaguely outlining muscles, clinging to his body like a second skin. Jasper puts down his bag with his uniform for work, kicks off his shoes, then heads towards the bathroom. Raven smiles when she hears Jasper sing in the shower.  


„It must be nice living with someone you actually like,” she muses, smiling at Monty. Monty nods, even though he can’t imagine what it would be like to live with anyone else than Jasper. He thinks he’d manage living with Monroe, or Raven, or any of their friends, but he _knows_ it wouldn’t be the same. They aren’t his best friend. For life. He smiles at the memory, the first moment he knew he and Jasper would be in each others lives for eons.  


„Is your roommate that horrible?” he asks Raven, who shrugs.  


„Think of her as a female Murphy, but with less humor and more angry looks.”   
Monty scrunches his nose.

„Yeah,” Raven agrees. „Thanks for letting me in. It helps a lot.” She looks around the apartment for a moment before focusing on her notes again. „Did you get what Thompson has been saying about electrical currents. I don’t think it was anything special but I kinda zoned out, with the whole break-up thing.”  


„Uh,” Monty looks at his notes, but the only things there are a few doodles of alien faces and little planets. He couldn’t concentrate in this morning’s classes; he had been staying up with Jasper to play lego Lord of the Rings, completing multiple levels and joking around. It had been a good night, but he had known it the next morning he’d stayed up late. Classes had been horrible. „No.”

„Pity,” Raven says, but she doesn’t sound like she means it. Jasper walks out of the bathroom, makes himself a cup of hot chocolate.  


„Anyone else?” he asks, preparing his little battlefield in a mug. Both Raven and Monty nod. Jasper brings them their hot chocolate and puts on a record.  


„It’s the perfect weather for this,” he tells them as he settles in the fauteuil situated by the window. Frank Sinatra starts playing, smooth voice dancing across the room. Jasper sips his hot chocolate as he watches the rain outside pour. He has a sweater wrapped around his body, probably Monty’s, and listens to the splashing of rain mixed with the voice of Sinatra.

He relaxes, stares outside, and for a moment he believes that everything will find its way. Whatever he’s feeling, whatever Monty’s not- they will be comets colliding in the night sky. Jasper’s already slowly being set ablaze.

 

* * *

 

„Jasper?”  


„Yes my dear?”  


„We’re out of food.”  


„Oh,” Jasper reacts, suddenly remembering what he was supposed to do. „Oh shit.”   
Monty looks at his watch for a moment, then dangles his keys.

„Let’s go,” he says, putting on his coat. Jasper quickly ties the laces of his worn vans, takes his backpack and closes the door behind Monty.They walk to the ‚open 24-hours’ convenience store down the street, which illuminates the streets with its ghostly neon lights, signs lighting up in between heartbeats and bats of eyelashes. The doors automatically open when they’re standing in front of it. Monty takes a basket from the little station next to the entrance and takes out a grocery list. 

„Food,” Jasper nods, walking towards the vegetable department. „Shout and I’ll serve, oh mighty ruler!” He shouts towards Monty from the end of the isle.  


„Tomatoes,” Monty responds, and for a moment he wonders what Jasper is planning to do. That is until he sees a bag of tomatoes flying his way.  


„Don’t dodge!” Jasper yells. Instead of dodging Monty holds up the basket, catching the now slightly bruised tomatoes. Jasper cheers, and he can’t help but grin. So this is the game they’re playing.  


„Next up?” Jasper asks.  


„Leek,” Monty answers. Jasper frowns.  


„Leek?”  


„Yes, you knucklehead,” Monty chuckles, walking towards the section with leeks. He picks one up, showing it to Jasper. When he tries to put the leek into the basket he’s blocked by something.  


„Leek and rhubarb,” Jasper says. „so the epic battle begins.” He swats the leek away from the basket with the rhubarb.  


„Jaspe-„ another swat. Monty pushes the rhubarb away, but is then attacked. „Oh,” Monty says, sounding slightly angry. He then grins, sharp and dangerous. „You’re gonna get it.”  


„Make me,” Jasper says, moving back down the aisle. He manages to hit Monty in the face with the rhubarb, lets out a delighted squeal, then makes a run for it. Monty puts the basket with the leek and tomatoes down and runs after Jasper, tackling him agains the refrigerating cabinets containing the milk and butter. Jasper lightly hits Monty again in his side with the rhubarb, laughing endlessly delightful. Monty moves quickly, grabs Jasper’s wrist and pins them next to his head against the refrigerating cabinets. He steps in closer. Jasper holds his breath, eyes flicking to Monty’s lips curling into a smile. Their noses almost press together. Monty tilts his head, and-  


„Gotcha,” he says, tickling Jasper mercilessly, grabbing the rhubarb from his hands and turning around, trying to calm his wildly beating heart. He vividly remembers the way Jasper’s lips had felt pressed against his. Chocolate is the first thing he thinks of.

Monty loves chocolate.

Jasper closes his eyes for a second, head resting against the cabinets.  


„What’s next?” he asks his friend, who’s walking away. He sounds less cheerful than before. He needs to change that. Monty can’t know anything’s up. He can’t know-

„Corn.”  


„Corny,” Jasper says, and he hears Monty snicker. „Can or cob?”  


„Tin can,” Monty answers, picking up the basket again. He takes a pack of rice off one of the shelves, takes a few bananas from the fruit department. Jasper tosses the cans into the basket and looks over Monty’s shoulder, trying to read the grocery list. There’s a bunch of random things on it, like toothpaste, orange juice, tea, and lucifers.  


„Let’s make it into a contest,” Jasper says. „We’ll split the list, you’ll take the first half, I take the second. Whoever’s fastest wins.”  


„So what do I win?”  


„Cocky already, Montgomery?” Jasper raises an eyebrow, amused. „Whoever wins wins never-ending glory, a good back rub by the sore sore loser, and the right to not carry home the groceries.”  


„Oh, you’re on,” Monty grins, gripping the handle of the basket. He tears the list in two parts and hands Jasper his part.  


„Like Donkey Kong," Jasper agrees. "See you on the other side,” Jasper salutes before he takes off. Monty smiles. He’s done this a thousand times; his parents were always very fond of efficient shopping. So Monty calmly walks down the aisles while he sees Jasper pacing around the store, takes everything he needs. He knows Jasper is too chaotic for this kind of tasks; he always has been. Monty fastens his pace towards the check-out service, arrives just in time before Jasper, who comes sprinting down the snack isle, arms loaded with groceries. He groans loudly when he sees Monty standing there, all relaxed, patiently waiting.  


„Guess you’ll be carrying those home,” Monty smirks. Jasper puts the things in the basket.  


„Whatever,” he shrugs, „you’ll still have to pay for them.” Monty snorts before paying for their groceries.

Jasper takes the bags under his arms, picking them up effortlessly. He’s storing everything when Monty asks: „So how about that back rub?” There’s a smirk in his voice.

Jasper silently curses himself. Why did he ever think it would be a good idea to put something like that on the line? 

„When do you want it?”  


„How about now?”

Jasper swallows.  


„Okay,” he answers, putting away last of the vegetables. He takes a breath before walking into the living room, where Monty’s sitting on the couch. He’s put on Scream and has his back partly turned towards Jasper. Monty pats the spot behind him. Jasper goes to sit behind Monty, legs folded.  


„Just so you know,” Jasper warns, „I’m the worst masseur. In the galaxy. Or the universe. Not just the world.”  


„I’ll have to experience it before I can judge,” Monty says, scooting a bit backwards, until his lower back is touching Jasper’s folded legs.  


„I warned you,” Jasper says, placing his hands upon Monty’s shoulders. Monty immediately relaxes at his best friend’s touch, shoulders slumping. He hums contently, closing his eyes, and he hears Jasper laugh.  


„You’re just like Newton when I scratch him,” he comments.  


„When you manage to scratch him,” Monty retorts. Jasper gives him a playful shove.  


„We should get a cat.”  


„We really shouldn’t,” Monty decides, eyes still closed. There’s a warmth spreading through his muscles, little specks of heat growing on his skin under the touch of Jasper’s fingers.  


„I do miss Newton lying on my bed when I wake,” Jasper confesses, moving his hands gently downMonty’s back, in between his shoulder blades, down his spine. Jasper feels Monty’s muscles move under his touch, feels how Monty relaxes. Monty shivers when Jasper’s fingers touch his lower back ever so lightly. 

„You can always sleep in my bed if you’re lonely,” Monty says without thinking about it. His shirt rides up a few centimeters and he twitches a bit, surprised by the cool air hitting his exposed skin. Jasper’s hands travel up his back stopping at the nape of his neck. He doesn’t respond to what Monty’s just said, but hesitates for a second, touch lingering. Monty’s skin is glowing.  


„Don’t stop,” Monty mutters, almost sighs. Jasper tentatively moves his hands up Monty’s neck, skin barely connecting.

He starts to rub light, small circles. Monty leans into the touch, melting into it. His breath hitches at how tender the touch is, sparking a soft tingle underneath his skin.

He doesn’t notice the sound he makes, a soft whiny sound lingering somewhere between a sigh and a moan, making the hairs on Jasper’s arms stand up.

He’s never been so thankful for the distance between him and Monty.

 

* * *

 

„Remember that time you tried to cook?” Jasper laughs. They’ve just come back home to the apartment, after spending the holidays with their parents. Monroe had thrown a huge new year’s party. Monty snorts.  


„How could I forget? I almost burned the apartment down,” Monty answers. His phone bleeps. He swiftly reads the message, then snorts. 

„Bellamy asks if Murphy likes flowers.”  


„Why?” Jasper cuts up some paprika. He raises an eyebrow at Monty.  


„Apparently there’s a guy looking a lot like Murphy wandering past the flower shop. Multiple times a day.”  


„But he’s never entering?”  


„Apparently he is now,” Monty raises his eyebrows. „I’m curious to see how this turns out.”  


„Only time will tell,” Jasper muses whilst bringing water to the boil. He cuts up an onion and shoves the bits into the frying pan. They continue their conversation whilst Jasper is cooking. 

Monty jumps and sits on the kitchen counter, as is usual now. After the multiple disasters of Monty trying to cook, they had decided Jasper was probably the one to do it. Jasper wasn’t that bad a cook, partially thanks to the fact he loved to help his parents to cook when he was little. Those evenings spent in the kitchen had turned out to be pretty helpful. 

It’s a habit now, Jasper cooking, Monty sitting on the kitchen counter. Jasper hands Monty a spoon filled with whatever he’s cooking.  


„Taste it,” Jasper instructs, trying not to think of the way he could be standing in between Monty’s legs, looping his fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, pulling him closer to make their bodies meet.   
The way Monty’s hands would feel being back in Jasper’s hair, thumb stroking against that one spot behind his jaw, lips sweet against his-

„It’s good,” Monty nods, handing back the spoon to Jasper. Jasper shakes the thought. He’s only fantasized about it a hundred times. It’s not happening.  


„It just needs a little longer,” Jasper says, not particularly talking about the food, but more or less talking about the existence of his own feelings.

 

* * *

 

Miraculously they all made it through their first year. Octavia’s returned from her travels, tan and delighted. Fox decides to switch majors, but she still finishes all her classes. Everyone is back in the suburbs over summer. Jasper’s thrilled- they’ll finally have time to be together again. The gang’s reunited. He’s over the moon. Monroe and Harper celebrate their three and a half year anniversary, they drive out to sea, build a huge bonfire, go camping together. Even Murphy’s allowed to go come on their camping trips, which oddly strikes him, making him emotional when he doesn’t want to be. Murphy hates dealing with his emotions. Jasper’s twenty now, and he doesn’t feel any different from when he was nineteen. He’s just not officially a teenager anymore, meaning he probably should have a general idea where his life is heading. He doesn’t. He’ll probably end up a chemistry teacher, or a mad scientist, or both, single with three cats and a few weird flatmates to accompany him. It’s a fine looking future. By the end of the summer Monty has turned twenty too. 

„Hey Jasper,” Fox says, feet dangling from the climbing frame they used to climb all the time when they were seven, „what are you going to do about Monty?”  


„What do you mean?” Jasper’s not even shocked. Fox has always been one to notice a lot of details.  


„Well, you like him, don’t you?” she says, looking at him. Her copper blonde hair is braided back, and she ruffles the hem of her skirt. Jasper sighs, laying down atop of the climbing frame. Bryan sends him a pitiful look.  


„Yes,” Jasper rubs his eyes.  


„Are you gonna tell him?” Fox asks.  


„Would you?” 

Fox shrugs.  


„I’ve never been in love,” she says, „I don’t know how it feels, but I don’t think I am missing out. I don’t think I’m the one to give advice about that kind of thing.”  


„Bryan?”  


„It’s hard,” Bryan says, „I mean, coming to terms with everything. Just make sure you feel comfortable. Tell him when you’re ready.”  


„I don’t think I’ll ever be ready,” Jasper mutters, shielding his eyes from the sun.  


„Cheer up, buttercup,” Fox says. „You’ll be allright.”  


„Both of you,” Bryan says, „and if you ever need help charming a boy, I’m here.”  


Jasper laughs.  


„Your way of charming Miller was straight-on kissing him out of the blue.”  


„That’s just the part that you’ve seen,” Bryan retorts, wiggling his eyebrows. Jasper groans while Fox giggles. „Remember that boys like flowers too.”  


„So I’ve noticed,” Jasper grins, thinking about the vases of flowers decorating Murphy’s apartment last time he visited. Bryan raises his eyebrows questioningly.  


 

* * *

 

The letter’s clear, massive letters scrawled across the paper. 

BLOODY HELL, ANOTHER HALLOWEEN PARTY   
OCTOBER 31st  
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE  
_(costumes required)_

There’s something in small print about it being a halloween party, so gore would be preferable- or just generally lots of fake blood. The location isn’t that clear, but a text message clarifies it.  


Halloween has always been one of Monty’s favorite holidays. He loved to go door to door to trick or treat- he always somehow ended up with a bigger pile than Jasper. Jasper always said it had to do with his eyes, but Monty quite disagrees- Jasper’s the one with the big brown doe eyes which are irresistible to look at. He’s mastered the puppy eyes. When they grew older the trick or treating turned into horror movie marathons, dressing up and watching Scream and Saw and Jaws, all the classics. This year’s going to be the first real big halloween party. There will be alcohol. Monty wonders how it’s going to end.  


Jasper emerges from his room, blood smeared across his neck, a fake bruise gracing his face. He’s dressed up as a pirate, in a way that’s horrible but horrible entertaining. His costume is very convincing, apart from his sword, which is short and visibly made of plastic.  


„Ready to go?” he asks Monty, who’s sporting his spiderman suit, and filling it out quite nicely. Jasper smiles at his choice of costume. Monty nods.

When they arrive at the party they notice that a lot of guests have taken the theme to heart; Lexa, Clarke’s roommate whom she brought, is dressed up like some kind of post-apocalyptic warrior-princess and totally rocking the look. Clarke herself is looking like she crawled out of the pits of hell and single-handedly strangled the devil, dirt and fake-blood smeared across her body. Lincoln’s dressed as a firefighter, accompanied by Octavia who’s decided to go as Catwoman. Harper and Monroe are dressed up as zombiefied versions of Disney characters, making them look like they were born into some post-apocalyptic era. It’s awesome. 

Murphy appears to be somewhat dressed down, wearing a simple suit. His lips are a subtle blood red, and there’s a trail of fake blood running from the corner of his mouth down his neck. His cheekbones appear more prominent than usual. When Bellamy, historically accurately dressed as a war time revolutionary, turns around and meets Murphy’s eyes, he mutters a low „fuck.” Murphy smirks.  


„Gladly,” he says. It isn’t long before they’re kissing.

 

* * *

 

Loving Monty Green wasn’t vastly different than loving family, but it was different all the same. Jasper Jordan always has been a person to love with a devotion no faith could ever muster- unapologetically, with small gestures, big words, and all his heart. He would die before giving up on the ones he loved. His love is great, and overwhelmingly existent. It sometimes leaves him breathless. It makes him undeniably happy nonetheless. 

It’s the fourth thursday of November. While Monty’s uptown to celebrate thanksgiving with his father and his father’s side of the family, Jasper’s driving home in his rover, father sitting next to him, mother in the backseat, Beach Boy’s blaring from the stereo. This year thanksgiving will be at their house. His grandparents, Jeff and his parents, a few other uncles and aunts will be coming tomorrow to dine with them. There’s this schedule they created together to surprise everyone. 

Tonight, Jasper and Norah will be baking a triple-layered cake while his father will be preparing the house, calling up to check on the family. He’ll drive to the airport to pick up his sister, bringing her in. The last time Thanksgiving was celebrated at their house was six years ago, when Jasper was an awkward lanky teenager in his first year of high school. Jasper’s still lanky, but he’s not a teenager anymore, and definitely not in high school. 

„How’s Monty going to spend Thanksgiving?” Norah asks her son, watching the world pass by.  


„He’ll spend tonight with his father, then there’s a family dinner tomorrow in some kind of fancy restaurant. Monty said he’d probably be heading over to his mom after that,” Jasper answers.  


„Isn’t their family dinner this sunday?” Joseph asks. Norah makes a noise, indicating that she thinks so too. 

„I don’t think he should be driving home tomorrow,” Norah says, „with black friday and all. You know how crazy the traffic gets.”  


„Everyone gets crazy when it comes to black friday,” Joseph sighs.  


„Except for you guys,” Jasper smiles, and his parents smile back lovingly. They drive down the highway for a bit, sitting in a silence which is only disturbed by the Beach Boys singing about good vibrations. Jasper hums, tapping along to the rhythm with his fingers on his steering wheel. He can see his father bobbing his head to the music, and his mother’s smiling.  


„Could you turn it up a bit, dear?” Norah asks, a familiar song echoing through the rover, reminding her of her younger years. „I like this song.”  


„Sure,” Jasper says, turning up the volume. His mother starts softly singing along to the lyrics, causing his father to start singing as well, a bit out of tune. Jasper joins them.  


„ _So hoist up the John B's sail, see how the main sail sets, call for the Captain ashore_ ,” they sing together. They’re nearing an intersection, and Jasper slows down a bit. They’re almost home.  


„ _Let me go home, let me go home_ ,” Jasper and Joseph continue singing. Norah abruptly stops, shifting in the backseat. The traffic light’s a blaring green.  


„ _I want to go home_ ,” Jasper’s the only one left, singing the words at the same time his mother reaches forward to alarm her boys, at the same time his father utters his name and stretches out his arm to protect his son.   


„ _Well I feel so broke up_ ,” the words sound twisted, hollow, disrupted by the sound of deforming metal, screeching tires, a piercing scream.

They’re almost home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear it! Also, if you didn't enjoy it and want to leave some constructive critisism- I'm open for that too.
> 
> I also have a pinterest board for this fic, so if anyone's interested, here it is: pinterest.com/labysprinter/small-town-kids-suburbia/
> 
> this chapter's last song is found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HW5yLvoJMD4


	15. Galaxy's Edge (Twenty One Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm allowed to add those 1200 words more than last chapter. It's been crazy and I'm very tired right now.  
> Once again, completely unbeta'd, so if there are any mistakes I'd like to hear it!
> 
> It's been a crazy ride. Please do know that I don't know jack about hospitals- there could easily be mistakes made. Sadly, every google-attempt I made resulted in insurance things I didn't want to deal with, so, ehm, I'm sorry?
> 
> Have fun reading, and please- don't cry. It's not the end. Well, actually, it is.  
> (probably)  
> trigger warnings for alcohol, blood, and mentions of death

„-there has been a major car accident. We’re talking about a side-on crash, no deaths and four injured. Police and medics are on scene. Drivers heading to the western suburbs will have to take a different route. Traffic jams are expected. This has been Traffic, please drive safely, and enjoy your thanksgiving night! Back to you, James-„ 

Monty sighs, turns down the volume. The radio presenter is chattering on about the big thanksgiving tradition, nothing interesting. There had been a car accident close to home. Monty knew the intersection they were talking about- it was the one they’d have to cross to head into the neighborhood, moving out of the city centre and into the outskirts. It was a busy intersection; perpendicular to the road emerging from the city towards the suburbs there was a road leading to the highway. Not many accidents happened there, but every now and then there’d be a inattentive truck driver honking, tires screeching. Accidents never really happened there.

Except for now.

Monty changes the channel and bites his lip. His fingers softly drum against the steering wheel. He hopes the people involved will be okay. Four injured. Maybe he knows-

His fathers apartment comes into view. The moment Monty turns and parks his car, his phone starts ringing. 

„Hello?” he asks, eying his father’s apartment. He doesn’t recognize the caller’s ID, but then again his father’s phone had been having trouble. Maybe he has a new phone and just needs some groceries.  


„Monty Green?” a cool voice on the other side asks. Monty’s heart stills.

„Yes?” Monty’s chest starts to feel tight. His knuckles are turning white as they’re gripping the steering wheel. A wave of nausea washes over him.  


„Mister Green, I call to inform you Jasper Jordan has been in a car accident. He is being taken to the hospital. Are there any allergies we should be aware off?”  


„No.”  


„Does mister Jordan use any medicines?”  


„No,” Monty breathes, then adds, „His blood type is AB positive.” 

„Thank you, mister Green. He and the other passengers are being taken to Saint Mary’s. The situation isn’t life-threatening-”

„I’ll be on my way,” Monty interrupts, heart hammering in his chest. The voice says something else, responds, but it’s all a blur to Monty. He hears a click and starts to text his father. He turns around and drives away.

 

* * *

 

Monty has never particularly liked hospitals; they’re sterile and filled with a sullen dread, organized in a way that is necessary and not particularly pleasant. It’s such a stark contrast with the way his childhood home had been sterile and organized that it almost takes Monty’s breath away.

He’s sitting in the waiting room, debating if he should text the kids from the block, deciding not to until he has some answers. His heart pounds in his chest. He’s anxiously waiting, thinking about the last time he’d been in the hospital. It had been because Jasper’d stubbed his toe and broken it. He’d had to drive him, teasing Jasper about it. It hadn’t been long after Monty’d offered Jasper to sleep in his bed whenever he felt lonely. Jasper hadn’t taken up on the offer, much to Monty’s disappointment. He’d thought - _hoped_ \- Jasper would come and sneak in someday, like in the old days, sprawling out beside him. Monty found he’d been missing the way they’d lain together in the hotel, yearning for the warmth of Jasper’s body beside him when he was cold, missing being that close. The way Jasper’s skin had felt under his fingers. The way Jasper’s fingers had felt upon his skin, careful, practiced, making his skin glow, massaging the sore muscle- the way he could lay his head in Jasper’s lap and relax. It’s a closeness Monty knows he doesn’t have with anybody else. This was what it was like to have a best friend. For life. For eons and _eons_.

Were the best friend to survive.  


Monty shook his head, shaking the thoughts, trying to lose the nerves. They’d said that it isn’t life-threatening. They’d said so, so it’s true. Jasper is going to live, and however Jasper is going to live, Monty will have it.

He can’t lose his best friend.

 

Monty’s slumping. It feels like he has been in the hospital for hours. He has been in the hospital for hours, slowly slipping into a shallow sleep, waking up every now and then. He’s sent a message out to his mother. His father offered to come, but Monty doesn’t think it will be much help. His father won’t be able to visit yet, like Monty isn’t. He doesn’t even know what’s going on, or how things like this work; car-crashes, the follow-up, none of it. He’s just waiting and waiting in agony, his heartbeat so loud he can barely hear his own worried thoughts. He doesn’t know when he will be allowed to see Jasper.  


„Sorry miss, I need to-„ the familiar voice makes Monty’s head turn. Immediately he gets up, stumbling, rushing towards the figure. His shirt is rumpled and his hear is sticking out in every direction, but he doesn't care.  


„Mrs. Jordan,” he says, causing Norah to turn around. She’s got a few bruises but seems to be relatively okay. Norah smiles weakly at Monty. „Are you allright?”  


She nods, shortly.  


„I’m fine,” she says, wincing. The nurse behind the desk seems to be looking for a form. „Just insurance things, trying to make some claims.” She sighs, looking tired. „Things like that’ll have to be done as well.”  


„Sadly enough,” the nurse agrees, handing Norah another form. Norah takes it, eyes friendly.  


„Have you heard anything about-„ Monty starts to ask, but when she turns the change in her eyes tells Monty enough.  


„It won’t be long,” he hears Norah say, „it can’t take long now.”  


„How’s Mr. Jordan?” Monty asks.  


„Alive and breathing,” Norah tells him. „Broken leg, a few bruised ribs, a slight headache, but otherwise fine. We’ll all be- fine.”

 

* * *

 

Jasper is pale where his lying, face only colored by the bruise sloshed across his cheekbone and the small gashes caused by the shattered windshield. There’s a gash near his temple, a bruise spreading across his collarbone. A mild concussion, four bruised ribs, a fractured wrist, and lots of bruises. That’s the damage the car crash has done to him. His mother has walked out with some pain and a bruise or two, his father has injuries slightly more severe, but out of all of them, the one the furthest away from the impact suffered the worst.

„Oh Jasper,” his mother mutters sadly, fingers raking through his shortened hair. There’d been something about a head injury, a reason to partly have to shave off Jasper’s hair. He’s got a buzz cut now.

Jasper makes a whimpering sound, trying to comfort his mother and failing miserably. Jasper’s in agony. Sure, he’s been pumped with painkillers, but every breath still hurts. The sole movement of his ribs. That one streak of sunlight creeping through the cracks of the blinds. The pounding of his heart- it all causes pain. The doctors keep saying it will get better; Jasper just wants the pain to go away. He can hardly do anything but sleep and lie still. Jasper hates lying still. 

It’s good to see his mother, though. He hates the worried glances she sends him, but he can’t blame her. The crash had been pretty bad, if his body is any indication. 

„Mom,” Jasper sounds hoarse. He tries to turn his head, then groans. His mother is quick to move herself, trying to keep her son lying still. „Mom, are you allright?”  


„As good as I’ll ever be, Jasper,” she sighs. Jasper nods, tears welling up in his eyes. He’s still not fully convinced by his mother, because he can hear the strain in her voice. She’s physically hurting, Jasper can tell. Makes two of them, really.  


„How about dad?”  


„He’s asleep,” Norah softly pets her son’s forehead. „He just need to rest.” She softly smiles. „And so do you.”  


„Hm,” Jasper groans, eyes fluttering close, „ ‚sMonty alright?”

„Monty’s fine my dear,” Norah reassures her son, voice soothing.  


„Don’t- don’t let him- know,” Jasper mumbles, trying to shift. „Don’t worry Mont-„ his voice falters. His mother weakly smiles as Jasper stars snoring. It only takes a few moments for her smile to falter. Silently, she starts to sob. It’s horrible to see her son like this, all bruised and beaten by the car crash. It hurts.

„Miss Jordan?” Norah hears the voice coming from the doorway. She dips her eyes dry with her hands, trying to erase the tracks the tears have left on her cheeks. She swallows before she turns towards the doorway. „M-may I come in?” Monty’s voice is feeble, dangerously close to breaking. Norah nods and Monty closes the door behind him. He swallows visibly. There’re tears rolling down his cheeks before he’s reached the side of Jasper’s bed, who’s still peacefully snoring softly.  


„Oh,” he gasps, sitting down on a chair next to the bed. A shaky hand reaches out to touch Jasper’s arm. Monty’s heart’s pounding. Norah watches as the boy takes in her son, the cuts and bruises. She notices the way Monty steadies his trembling hands, lightly resting his fingers on the wrist that isn’t fractured. It pains her to see the worry in this young boy’s eyes.  


„He’s going to be fine,” Monty then mumbles, straightening his back. He nods, as to reassure himself, face hardening in a way Norah knows she wouldn’t ever have been able to do herself. „We will be fine.”  


Norah doesn’t think these words are meant for her ears.

Norah hadn’t been kidding when she told her husband a decade ago that Monty’d be around. She’d seen it then and she still sees it now. If only Monty could see it too.

She sighs.

„We’ll be okay,” Norah tells Monty, who nods one time, resolutely. His eyes don’t leave her son’s face. „The doctors said we’ll be able to get him home soon. He mostly needs to rest, time to heal, just like Joseph.” She lets her eyes linger, studies the look on Monty’s face.  
„You know, when we were in our twenties, Joseph and I were in an accident too.” 

Monty looks up, curious. 

„It wasn’t as bad as it sounds, actually. Not as big a crash as this one. We were driving back home from the beach, two of our friends with us, when suddenly a deer crossed the road. It came out of nowhere, had us swerving. We almost crashed into another car, could luckily evade it. Still had the hearts pounding in our throat. I was terrified. That poor deer skidded off as fast as it could, but we needed half an hour to calm down, car parked on the side of the road. Three days later Joseph sat me down and took my hand. He looked at me and said ‚I don’t know if I’m a brave fool or a foolish brave, but I do know I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’,” Norah laughs, shaking her head. „We’d been barely dating for a year.” 

Monty still hasn’t let go of Jasper’s wrist.  


„The thing with falling in love is,” Norah says, „you don’t always know when you have. Love is a many gendered thing. Flexible, too. Like humans, it comes in all shapes and sizes. I think Jasper would say ‚like a Ditto’, that pink jelly-like Pocket Monster?” She looks at Monty questioningly, furrowing her eyebrows. Monty faintly smiles, huffs. „Love isn’t all sex and cheesy moments, red roses and only seeing the best in someone,” Norah pauses. „It’s knowing someone, and, despite everything, wanting to spend your life with them. Through good and bad, as they say,” Norah muses. „Falling in love is a fickle experience. Finding love is formidable. It’s not for everyone, and that’s okay. But I think eventually, if it’s meant to be-„ Norah pauses to look at Monty, then moves her gaze to her son’s face. „-love will find a way.” 

Monty lets the words linger in his mind. He’s getting the feeling Jasper’s mother is trying to tell him something. He thinks he gets what she means. He just doesn’t fully understand yet.  


  

* * *

 

Four weeks later Jasper’s lying on the couch in their apartment. Three weeks he spend at his own home recovering. It’d been okay, nice to be around his parents. There’s a lot of shows he’s watched, movies he’s seen. But now he’s at the apartment, he’s mostly left to his own devices. He can handle it, yes, but he cannot do too much activities. Not like he used to before the accident, anyway. Monty doesn’t want him risking lengthening his recovery. Jasper doesn’t want to risk being stuck in the same position for another four weeks. 

„This is horrible,” he grumbles. „I haven’t been allowed to move for four weeks. My fricking ribs should be fine by now. My dad’s okay. My mum’s okay. Even Newton’s okay. The only thing left that’s not okay is the amount of homework piling up on my desk because I am not allowed to do. Any. Fricking. Thing.” 

„I can do your homework,” Monty offers with a hint of a smile. Jasper huffs.  


„I just want to move. This is boring.” He throws a little foam ball towards the wall and then groans. He’s reached about his maximum limit of movement today; he’ll probably needs about two hours to recover. 

It’s stupid.

Every day someone has been over to check up on him, to bring him snacks, to bring him homework. Everyone had been pretty shocked when the news came in after Thanksgiving- even at home Jasper’d had quite some visitors. Jasper had felt flattered by the amount of concern everyone had for him, but it bothered him as well. He didn’t want anyone to worry, felt guilty for making them feel concerned. They should’ve been enjoying their thanksgiving weekend. He didn’t want to ruin anything. Jasper fears he may have.

„Just a few more days,” Monty says. Jasper rolls his eyes. „You’ll be better.”  


„Yeah, just a few more days,” Jasper huffs. He stares at the wall.

 

* * *

 

Monty sees the growing impatience, the limitations recovery cause for Jasper. He’d started reading to Jasper again, whenever he could. He’s still reading to him, sneaking in after late night shifts, finding Jasper lying awake. Jasper will scoot over, eyes filled with a void before blinking. Monty’ll sit next to him, shoes left at the carpet, legs crossed. It’s not Harry Potter Monty reads to Jasper- they’d started with that, because that’d been the books Monty used to read to Jasper to calm him down. He’d figured that it’d still soothe him. From Harry Potter they moved on to Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit. Beautiful tales spoken aloud.

They’re at the point Jasper can almost fully function again, and apart from a few exercises a day, he’s free to do whatever. The cast around his wrist is removed, the bruises barely visible.

His hair’s still short.

Monroe and Harper still come visiting from time to time, cooking, eating dinner. Miller visits regularly, often dragging Murphy along, or taking Bryan with him. Raven hangs out at their place. A lot. Her casual distaste for her roommate has grown out to be a kind of hate Monty furiously hopes never to be the subject of.  


„Oh come on, I mean, who even plays cello in the middle of the night?” Raven huffs, throwing and catching a little foam ball. „And then decides to hang ugly artwork on my side of the room? Honestly, that I have to look at it hanging on the other side of the room’s bad enough. Who in their right mind likes Basquiat?!”

Monty looks at Jasper, silently asking if he knows who Basquiat is. Jasper looks like he doesn’t know. His eyebrows are furrowed, but his eyes are blank. He gets up.

„I wouldn’t know,” Monty says absentmindedly, eyes following Jasper, who disappears into his room. Raven shifts, lying aside the little foam ball, bending over her homework.  


„You’ll tell me whenever there’ll be an apartment for rent nearby, right?”  


„Sure,” Monty says. Raven starts typing in some numbers on her calculator, then continues to scribble down a few things. Monty waits a few moments, expecting Jasper to emerge from his room, but he doesn’t. Confused, Monty furrows his eyebrows before starting on his own homework.  


„You want to stay over for dinner?” he asks Raven when they’re nearing dinner time. Raven nods. She’s working on the programming of some kind of game she’s designed herself, eyes trained on the screen of her laptop. Monty yawns, stretches, then looks around their small living room.

No Jasper.

He feels a jolt of nerves. It isn’t like Jasper to be in his room for so long when there’s company. Even without company he spends most his time in their living room. Monty’s noticed Jasper spending more and more time in the fauteuil near the window, but he doesn’t think that’s a particularly bad thing. Silently Monty gets up, knocking on Jasper’s door.  


No answer.  


„Jasper?” he asks, ear to the door. He can hear a soft murmur of music, nothing more. Cautiously he opens the door. „Jasper?” he asks again. Jasper’s back is facing him. Monty enters the room, sitting down on the edge of Jasper’s bed.  


„Jasper,” he says again, hand rising to touch his best friend’s shoulder. The moment his fingers land on it, Jasper twitches, breath hitching. He turns at such a speed it surprises Monty. Monty immediately feels overrun with worry. „Are you okay?” Monty asks as he sees Jasper’s eyes skid across the room before focusing on his face. He looks distracted, but starts to nod, even as his breath’s still high in his chest, and his body’s shaking.

„I will be,” he croaks, then looks away, outside, to the traffic rushing by.

„Raven’s staying over for dinner,” Monty says. Jasper makes a humming noise. „Should we order take-out?”  


„Yeah,” Jasper agrees. He tenses, then relaxes. „Yeah we should.” He turns around, gets up, and walks into the living room, Monty’s hand gliding off his shoulder. He leaves Monty stunned, confused by what just happened. Something wasn’t right. Monty was gonna make it right.

 

* * *

 

He’s crossing the street when he hears the car honking. It’s stupid, because he’s at a pedestrian crossing. The honking has him shivering. There’s headlights coming towards them. The car radio’s creaking, coaxed voices filling his eardrums. Louder and louder and louder and louder and-

„Sir, could you please move!” 

Jasper turns around violently, rapidly, looking for the owner of the voice. He notices he’s standing in the middle of the street, people rushing past him.  


„O-of course,” Jasper breathes, rapidly moving forward. He almost trips on the curb, trying to get on the sidewalk. „Sorry!”  


This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Jasper was okay for a while, honestly. His recovery was a rocky and mostly boring road. It wasn’t like he had been able to do a lot, lying still, consuming movie after movie after movie. Facing the world isn’t that hard when there’s no world to see.

No, the worst came after he had recovered. Headlights. A certain song. Yelling. Sudden racing of his heart, being easily startled, crappy night sleep. The world had started to feel like a heart attack.

Of course there was Monty, worried as always, always noticing. It simultaneously made everything better and worse. Jasper didn’t want Monty to know he was struggling- he didn’t want to worry him. As much as Jasper craved Monty’s affection he didn’t want him to see him crumble. It was better to fall apart alone. Or at least, for now. Most of the time, he was fine. As long as he was busy, everything was okay. Watching tv, making coursework, cooking. Jasper’s taken up running again, finding that it calms him, solely focussing on the movement of his body. There’s a park in the neighborhood. It’s a good place to come.

Driving his own car terrifies him. He’s glad he mostly has to take the bus, or drive his bike. One time he stepped into a car his hands started shaking so badly he couldn’t even secure his seatbelt. The world had started spinning dizzyingly around him. 

Jasper is screwed.

 

* * *

 

„It’s a good thing I’m not allergic to flowers,” Miller grins. Murphy grumbles. 

„Yeahyeah, laugh all you want, but at least I can keep my flowers alive.”  


„Are you sure?” Clarke asks, inspecting a vase of flowers which looked particularly bad. She pokes one of the flowers and it sheds a petal.  


„It’s his aesthetic,” Raven grins sharply.  


„Shut up, princess, mechanic,” Murphy grunts. „Nobody asked you.”  


„My brother will be in tears when he sees this,” Octavia raises an eyebrow.  


„I already regret inviting you.”  


„You always do,” Raven remarks. Murphy throws a pillow at her.  


„It was a lot more fun when I only knew Miller and Jordan,” Murphy snarks. Bryan looks at him like a hit puppy. „And Bryan,” he adds. Bryan seems content with this remark and sinks back into the worn leather brown couch, next to Miller.  


„Heya!” Harper yells while Monroe almost kicks down Murphy’s front door. „We heard there was a New Year’s party somewhere?”  


„You heard wrong!” Murphy replies. Jasper snorts.  


„Come on in,” Monty says, a little late because Harper’s already stumbled inside.  


„Good news: we brought proper booze,” Monroe announces. Raven and Octavia whoop. „Bad news: we already lost one.” She nods Harper, who giggles.  


„It was mostly empty anyway,” Harper shrugs, putting two bottles of clear liquid on the kitchen counter. Clarke smiles.  


„Well, let’s get this party started then,” Murphy says, grabbing one of the bottles. Miller gets them some shot glasses. Everyone gathers around the table. Fox puts on some music, bright grin smeared across her face.  


„What, without me?” Bellamy asks, wincing at the sight of the flowers. Octavia cheers.  


„Big bro!” she hugs Bellamy. After Bellamy enters Lincoln, who she straight-out smooches. „You came!” Octavia exclaims, taking Lincoln by the hand and sitting him down beside her. Bellamy puts down another bottle on the kitchen counter.  


„Looks like the party’s complete,” Murphy smiles. „Who’s in for a game of fuzzy duck?”  
Jasper snorts.

„Fuzzy duck?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. He looks at Monty, who can barely contain his laughter too.  


„Fuzzy duck,” Murphy responds, completely serious. „It goes like this: you say fuzzy duck to the person on your left. This continues until someone says ‚does he’, then you’ll have to say ‚ducky fuzz’. If you mess up, you drink.” 

„Simple,” Monty muses.  


„But effective,” Miller grins. They probably should be scared.

It turns out Jasper is really horrible at ‚fuzzy duck’ because he keeps laughing when he has to say it, then messes up. Clarke turns out to be really good at beer pong, or any game really. She and Raven are a team from hell when you try to beat them; they’re scarily good. Monty suspects Bellamy doesn’t really care about the games, although he tries his best, even if he’s sometimes really obvious in messing up. Monty notices an increase in alcohol-consumption by Jasper the closer midnight is coming. He sees a small twitch in Jasper’s fingers, but then Jasper’s smiling and laughing and lighting up the room and something _clicks_.

Oh.  
_Oh._

Monty downs his glass in one go, refills, and downs it again. He takes Monroe by her arm, ushering her aside, plucking her from the little square space that is functioning as a dance floor.  


„What is being in love like?” he asks, voice a hushed whisper in between the violently loud music. Monroe frowns for a moment, bends closer whilst tapping her ear. Monty repeats his question, the room a hazy blur around him. Monroe leans back, takes a sip, then talks.

„Like wanting to share the world. Like wanting to pluck the stars from the sky and wanting to hand them over. Like a sonic boom whenever you see them.”

Her eyes dart across the room and rest on Harper, who’s talking loudly to Miller and Bryan. Her eyes soften.  
„How did you know?”

„What?”  


„How did you know?!” Monty repeats, raising his voice. Monroe furrows her brows.  


„I didn’t mind being around her,” Monroe simply states. „I kinda wanted to. Looooong times.”  


„Eons,” Monty breathes. Monroe furrows her eyebrows again.  


„What?” she asks, confused. Monty shakes his head.  


„Nevermind,” he breathes before moving across the room, catching Jasper’s cup before it spills all over the floor. Jasper looks up, surprised, grins at him.  


„Thank you, my dear Montgomery.”  


Monty groans.  


„No problem.” Monty leans against the wall. There’s about three minutes left before midnight.  


There’s a tremor in Jasper’s hand.  


„Okay kids you better grab someone or you’re gonna end up kissing your own hand at midnight!” Murphy yells. Raven groans loudly and Clarke laughs.  


„Or don’t!” Murphy adds, sounding only slightly annoyed. „Whatever,” he mutters. There’s a big clock on the television counting down every second. They gather around it, start slowly moving towards the windows. 

„TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN-„ they’re so busy counting that they don’t notice Jasper moving away. „-SIX, FIVE, FOUR-„ Monroe grabs Harper’s hand. Miller has his arm slung around Bryan. „-THREE, TWO, ONE-„  


„HAPPY NEW YEAR!” they all exclaim. Jasper’s face’s twitched into a crooked smile. In the distance fireworks explode. If they turn their heads just right they can see fireworks exploding in the sky. 

When the couples start kissing each other Clarke presses her lips to Raven’s cheek, a gesture which is returned with a small kiss on the lips. They both giggle ‚happy new year’ to each other while they hug each other. 

Next to Monty Bellamy walks up to Murphy, tapping him on the shoulder. Murphy starts to turn around, already making disgruntled noises. When he sees it’s Bellamy who tapped in on the shoulder the grumbling dissolves, a rose color rising to his cheeks. He only needs a second to regain composure, taking Bellamy by the collar of his dress shirt and pushing him up against the wall, only to lock their lips together. Bellamy makes a surprised sound, but then eases into the kiss. 

Monty looks away before he sees things he doesn’t want to see. Octavia walks up to him and hugs him tightly, followed by Fox, Bryan, Lincoln, Miller, Monroe and Harper. Bellamy and Murphy are still kissing in the corner. Just when Monty has taken a few steps towards the kitchen Raven and Clarke hug him simultaneously. Monty’s phone starts buzzing. Finn appears out of nowhere, and Monty has no idea how and when he got there.  


„Happy new year!” Finn whoops, patting him firmly on the shoulder. Monty coughs.  


„Yeah, you too,” he smiles, but his eyes are scanning the room. He doesn’t see Jasper anywhere, while he’d been there moments ago, yelling ‚happy new year’ along with everyone else. Monty starts to roam the room. When he’s concluded Jasper’s not there, he crossed the hall, enters the apartment. There’s noise coming from the bathroom.  


„Jasper?” Monty asks, overruled by the fireworks exploding in the background. He hears the lock of the bathroom moving, but is just in time to open it. Jasper’s on the other side of the door, cheeks streaked with tears, breathing shallow. He tries to close the door, force Monty out, but Monty manages to sneak inside. Jasper lets out a sound of frustration, a sob rising. He doesn’t want Monty to see him like this, all ugly and stained and weak. 

There’s more firework exploding, and Jasper can hear the crash again, bones breaking, the piercing scream of his mother, the honking of car horns, the rumpling of metal. A sudden pain hits him in the chest. Inside, it feels like his ribs are on fire. The room around him is a fuzzy whirlwind of blur and motion. There’s a murmur he doesn’t understand, a whisper he can’t make out. The headlights are bright and his parents are dead and his head is a mess and-  


Two hands, one on each shoulder. A pair of brown eyes, a black fringe. Something is being said, but Jasper doesn’t understand. His eyes dart towards the chest, rising and falling, and he tries to get his breathing in sync. The needles pricking underneath his skin slowly retread, fading into the background. Jasper lets out a sob. Monty carefully puts his arms around Jasper, who’s now shaking. Jasper curls his own arms around Monty’s back, face buried in his neck. Monty knows without asking what has happened- a flashback to the accident, triggered by the fireworks. As the room spins sluggishly around them, Monty sits down on the cold bathroom floor, cradling Jasper, hands raking through his short hair.  


„You will be allright,” Monty whispers, Jasper’s face still pressed into his neck. They sit like that, even when Jasper’s calmed down. It takes a while for them to untangle and stumble to their feet. Monty holds out his hand, which Jasper gladly takes. Music pounds through the walls. Monty smiles at his best friend.  


„I believe there’s still a party going on somewhere,” Monty notices, giggling. Jasper raises his eyebrow, or at least tries to.  


„So what are we waiting for?” he asks, not letting go of Monty’s hand. „Let’s celebrate the new year.”

 

* * *

 

At night, Jasper Jordan lies awake. He’s taunted by nightmares, all variations of the same event. Rumpled metal, bloody faces. Car horns and blaring green lights. Sometimes, the lights blind him. Sometimes, it’s his father behind the wheel, Jasper distracting him, causing them to crash. Sometimes it’s his mother beside him, and him consciously crashing the car, driving them straight into the truck. In all versions Jasper lives. In all versions the Jordans die.

The nightmares are not based on any memories. Jasper had lost conscious at the impact, had woken up in the hospital. He knows they’re just images his mind made up. Rationally, he knows the dreams are a lie. But he can’t shake the feeling that they leave, a shiver in his bones, a pain in his stomach. Worry.

There are times Monty dies. Those are the worst- Jasper will wake up kicking around vividly, sheets already on the ground, the smell of burning metal and the taste of blood still fresh in his mind. It’s always the same. He drives down the highway, the same line stuck on repeat coming from the radio. There’s laughter, chatter, impatient tapping of fingers on the dashboard. The sun’s shining, hanging low above the road. How many seconds left? Jasper can’t tell. He feels like he’s counting down the last seconds of his life.  


„Jasper,” the honey-coaxed voice says, causing him to turn his head. Beside him Monty sits, face lit up like the way it used to on Easter morning, before going on an easter egg hunt. Monty reaches out, covers Jasper’s hand with his own, moving closer. Monty slowly licks his lips, then bites them. Jasper tries to focus on the road, but can feel the hand moving up his arm.  


„M-monty,” Jasper stammers, eyes on the road. Monty retreats his hands, sighs, rolling his eyes. Jasper quickly glances towards the boy sitting in the passengers seat. „I love you.”  


„Then why are you letting this truck hit me?” he hears Monty ask before there’s a crashing sound, glass shattering, metal deforming. It feels like his intestines are being pushed into his vertebrae. A neck snaps. Blood is streaming into Jasper’s eye, the pain in his arm’s almost blinding. When he looks next to him Monty’s warm brown eyes glare at him coldly. There’s blood running down his neck, coming out of his ear, jaw slack. His chest is pierced by a metal bar, and even though Jasper has no idea where it’s coming from, it still looks unpleasant. Then Monty starts to move, groaning, and Jasper let’s out a sob. Blood starts to drip from Monty’s lips as he starts to cough, using his last strength to push out his last words.  


„Jasper, if you love me,” Monty cries, „why’d you kill me? Jasper? Jasp-”

Jasper wakes up in agony. His pillow’s wet from crying, his ribs are stinging, his head’s pounding. He takes a deep breath, shuddering. It was all just a dream, it was all just a dream, it was all just-  


„Jasper?” A worried voice cuts through his wandering thoughts. Jasper immediately recognizes the voice. How could he not, after all those years?  


„I’m fine,” Jasper mumbles, but he doesn’t sound all that convincing.  


„You were screaming,” Monty says.  


„You were dying,” Jasper responds before realizing. He hears Monty inhale sharply, then feels how Monty wraps his arms around him, tentatively. Jasper melts into the touch, leaning back a bit. Monty releases him, only to pick up the duvet. Jasper lies down again, watches Monty move.  


„Hey Monty,” he asks, eyes darting across Monty’s face, „is that offer still standing?”  


Monty exhales.  


„Of course,” he answers, heart hitching. Monty closes Jasper’s door, takes off the sweater he’d put on when he was woken. Monty feels strangely naked, torso bare. He moves through the room, tiptoeing, gets into Jasper’s bed. Jasper covers them with his blanket, sharing the warmth. Monty reaches out, then stops himself. He looks at Jasper, who has bags underneath his eyes and a tired ghost of a smile crossing his face.  


„Sleep tight, Jasp,” Monty mumbles, shifting.  


„Good night,” Jasper responds sleepily. When his eyes flutter close he drifts away, falling into a noiseless sleep. Monty watches as Jasper’s chest rises, then falls. He lets his hand reach out, gently laying it across Jasper’s heart. He can feel the slow pulse, follows the rhythm of the heaving of the chest. He wakes, their limbs tangled, sunlight spreading around Jasper’s head like a halo. Monty follows the line of Jasper’s nose, down to his lips, lets his eyes skid back to the long eyelashes resting upon Jasper’s cheek. He looks at peace for the first time in months.

 

* * *

 

Like most of the things Jasper and Monty do together, sleeping in the same bed becomes a habit. Over time, they start to share more touches, tentative and careful, like they’re afraid the other will break when touched. One day, when Jasper’s back’s facing Monty, Monty slings his arm around Jasper’s chest.

„Is this okay?” Monty asks murmuring, shifting awkwardly, sounding sleepy. He can still hear Norah Jordan say: ‚ _if it’s meant to be, love will find a way_ ’.

He wonders if this is love.

He already knows the answer.

Jasper nods, even though Monty can’t see it, then moves back a bit, so that their torsos are connected, touching. It’s not fully dark outside yet. Spring’s near.  


„Yeah,” Jasper’s voice’s almost inaudible. He touches Monty’s arm. His fingertips send jolts through Monty, a slow shiver going down his spine. Monty rests his nose in the crook of Jasper’s neck.

Jasper hasn’t had a nightmare in weeks. Slowly but surely, his flashbacks have begun to become less vivid, less violent. Less frequent. Life is slowly taking him back.

Jasper’s falling more every day.

 

* * *

 

„Harper, I _need_ your mum’s recipe for that apple-orange pie,” Monty pleads. He’s been trying to get Harper to give her mother’s recipe for about an hour now, without succes. „I’ve got about ten minutes left before Jasper gets home. I want to bake him this for his birthday.”

„Couldn’t you have said so sooner?” Harper says cheerily before rattling off a list with ingredients. Monty is quick to type them down, hands flying across the keyboard. Within five minutes Harper’s presented him with a whole pie recipe, with exact instructions. She even manages to give him some tips for baking.  


„Go get ‚em, tiger,” she says before hanging up. Monty has no idea what she means, but he’s glad he has the recipe. Two days to go till Jasper’s birthday. Monty’s making preparations. He has nothing big planned, not really, but he thinks it’ll be nice to surprise Jasper with something small.

Of course, Raven’s already planning a surprise party for the weekend. 

Monty saves the file and closes the tab as Jasper’s opening the door. He’s looking a bit pale, unusually so. Monty’s noticed a lot of changes the last few weeks; Jasper’d been sleeping better, waking up chipper, cracking more jokes. He’d become more engaged with others, staying out longer.

Maybe he’d been distancing himself from Monty.  


„I’m going to go for a run in a bit,” Jasper announces, then disappears into his room. Monty frowns. It’s not unusual for Jasper to go running. Monty’d just hoped to catch up a bit, to chat to Jasper, ask how his day was. Small talk. He longed to see Jasper smile his goofy smile and tell about how one of his classmates had almost blown up the lab.

Monty feels queasy.  


„See you in a few,” Jasper says before running out the door. Monty barely gets time to respond. He sighs.

„What are you running from, Jasper?” he mumbles, looking at the door, trying to think of anything he could’ve done wrong, anything that might’ve set Jasper off. 

Monty can’t think of anything.

 

* * *

 

„Happy fucking birthday to me,” Jasper mutters before downing his third shot. The liquid burns in his throat, as if it tries to melt his larynx. The bartender raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t comment. Jasper stares at the fingers clasping the glass, long and thin. His own.

He knows Monty’s at home -the apartment. Jasper feels guilty for not immediately showing up, for disappearing like this, but he can’t take it any longer. He orders another round, looks the bartender straight into his eyes, challenging, then pays. The bartender gives him another shot. 

Jasper’d tried to avoid Monty. Maybe avoidance would help him forget Monty- out of sight, out of mind, as they said. He’d tried to busy himself with everything else. He’d tried and he’d tried and he’d tried not to feel anything. The feeling always came back thrice as hard, slapping him in the face. It was the way the light lit his face when they were eating dinner together at the dinner table. The way he’d look worriedly at his homework, brows furrowed in concentration. The way he’d laugh at the lamest jokes on tv. _Loving Monty Green had always been this._

Jasper Jordan was done. Jasper Jordan was so fucking done with the universe and its stars and galaxies. He wanted to rip his own heart out for wanting to hand them over to Monty. He wanted to rip his heart out for wanting to feel something so stupidly pointless, for being so needy, craving his affection. Jasper’d punch himself if he could; why did he want Monty so much?

They were only friends, after all.

Jasper’s never been foolish enough to get his hopes up, but it’s only now he realizes: Monty will never return his feelings. And he feels stupid. Stupid for still feeling his heart skip when Monty smiles at him, stupid for longing for his touch when they’re lying next to each other at night because otherwise Jasper can’t properly sleep, stupid for still loving with every fibre of his being. Love isn’t a game meant to be played. 

Jasper downs the shot and holds in the cough rising. He stares at the clock on the wall. Ten past eight, it reads.  
Monty furrows his eyebrows. Jasper should be home by now. The pie’s not even warm anymore, has cooled off by now. Monty looks at the milkshakes on the kitchen counter. A droplet rolls down the side of one of the glasses. He takes out his phone and types a message. 

**Monty** : hey, u home soon?  


Jasper ignores it.  


Monty makes himself some insta-noodles, starts on his homework. He can’t shake the feeling something is wrong. It’s nine o’clock. Jasper should be home by now, for sure. Another half hour passes. Monty tries to dial Jasper. Around ten o’clock Monty’s frantically calling Harper, checking if she’s heard anything from Jasper. She tells him no, except for the ‚thank you’ she received after wishing him a happy birthday. The same goes for Monroe and Fox. Around half past ten, there’s a constant maelstrom of worry swirling around in Monty’s head. He’s called Jasper six times now, sent out a series of messages. He’s called Octavia, Raven, Clarke and Bryan, who all don’t have any clue on where to find Jasper. Monty searches their regular spots, visits Jasper’s favorite and less favorite coffee shops. Still no sign of Jasper. Monty returns to the apartment worried sick, hoping to find Jasper there. His bed’s still a mess.

How long would it take for the police to-

Knocking on the door. Monty thinks he might have a heart attack.  


„We thought you might’ve lost someone,” Miller says when Monty opens the door. Bellamy sends him an apologetic look. They’re holding up Jasper, who looks like he can barely stand on his own to feet. Jasper starts to struggle.  


„mfine!” he protests, trying to get inside. Bellamy tries to stop him, but Jasper simply pushes his hand into Bellamy’s face before hissing, pushing Bellamy’s face away and distracting him. His expression changes from annoyance to qualmishness. Jasper makes his way to the sink, still supported by Miller, then throws up. He accidentally pushes one of the glasses filled with milkshake off the counter. Jasper heaves, sees the glass fall, then starts to panic.  


„Oh dear,” Bellamy says before rushing over to Jasper. Monty gets a towel, cleans up the shards of glass. Miller has turned on the faucet, has water cleaning the sink.  


„Thank you,” Monty sighs, turning to face Bellamy and Miller. They both shrug, pat him on the shoulder.  


„No problem,” Bellamy says.  


„We probably should get going,” Miller nods, eying Jasper, who’s now shivering, looking pale. „Make sure to get him to drink water before he goes to bed.”  


„Will do,” Monty promises, watching them leave. When he turns around, he hears a sob. Jasper glides down, back against the kitchen cabinets. He’s crying.  


„Hey,” Monty says in a soothing voice, crouching next to Jasper. „Hey, Jasp, look at me. You’re going to be okay.”  
Jasper shakes his head vehemently.

„No. No,” he shakes. „I can’t- I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t-„ He starts crying agains, shoulders shaking, muscles strained. There’s a certain anger locked inside his body, energy he can’t deal with.  


„Jasper,” Monty says, soft but firm. „You can. You can do this.” He takes Jasper’s hands between his own. „We can do this.”

 

* * *

 

„Close your eyes.”

„Wh- why?”

„Just do it.”

„Monty-„

„Just trust me.”

„Okay.”

Jasper closes his eyes.  


„Can I open them already?”  


„Nope,” Monty muses. „One more minute.”  


„A whole minute?” Jasper groans. „I’m starting to get a headache.”  


„You mean, atop the one you already had?”  


„I fucking hate you.”  


„You fucking love me,” Monty retorts, and then his heart stops for a second, realizing what he just said. There’s no response.  


 

Jasper opens his eyes. He’s greeted by the sight of the theme park they went to when he turned ten. The one they went to when they were seventeen.  


Monty studies Jasper’s face. The sunlight’s hitting his eyelashes, caresses Jasper’s skin. His eyes are wide, amused and shocked at the same time. It’s a look Monty remembers. It’s a look he hopes to see for eons and eons.

„Come on,” he says, taking Jasper by his wrist, pulling him along. When he’d seen Jasper yesterday, there’d been no doubt in his mind what Jasper needed. There’s only one place Jasper’d loved more than the universe; the theme park. Bright colors and bright futures. He’s gladly skip college for this. The park is alive around them.  


They ride the Great Dazzler, the Hurricane, the Gale. They eat lunch in the boats.  


„I could do this with you forever, Jasper Jordan,” Monty muses, eyes closed, the sun warming his face. Jasper sucks in a breath. In Monty’s mind, Monroe’s voice echoes.  


There’s a new ride called the Halestorm, which is absolutely crazy. The carriages are being spun around, air sweeping around them. They walk out it a bit dizzy, both needing a moment to get steady again.  


„Let’s do something easy,” Jasper proposes, and Monty nods, agreeing. Their arms brush together. They walk up to the ball games.  


„How about you win something for me this time,” Jasper teases.  


„What, like it’s hard?” Monty asks, batting his eyelashes. Jasper laughs nervously. Monty picks up a ball, throws, and completely misses. The ball somehow bounces off and comes swirling back at him. He has to duck to not get hit by hit. Jasper’s laugh rings in his ears.  


„What, like it’s hard?” Jasper mocks him, picking up a ball and throwing it. It hits its mark. Monty grumbles, but then laughs. He throws the last one, sending the stack of cans flying towards the ground. Jasper whistles.  


„Impressive,” he says, raising his eyebrows approvingly. Monty stumps him playfully.  


„I happen to remember last time, when you mist almost every mark.”  


„Psht,” Jasper huffs. „Bygones.”

„Whatever the hell you want,” Monty grins, handing his points over to Jasper. He gets himself a pair of socks. Monty doesn’t exactly why they are a  choice, but they have little planets on them, and little aliens and spaceships. It’s kinda cute.  


„I’m gonna get cotton candy twice the size of my head,” Jasper announces, almost skipping away. Monty smiles as he watches Jasper walking up to the cotton candy stand. Jasper comes back with two clouds of sugary goodness. 

„Open up,” he instructs Monty.

„Why?” Monty asks, raising an eyebrow.

„Because it’s my birthday,” Jasper argues, and Monty laughs. 

„It _was_ your birthday,” Monty corrects him. Jasper huffs and starts eating his cotton candy. They watch as the sun lowers, spreading a golden glow across the themepark. They eat their cotton candy in silence. Jasper finishes earlier than Monty, sneaking a bite of his great cloud of candy floss. Monty tries to swat Jasper away, but ends up almost poking his own eye out with the candy. Jasper looks at Monty.

There’s a brim of sugar left on his lips, sticky and sweet, shading his lips a new shade of pink. Jasper’s eyes flick to Monty’s lips before he looks at his friend again. Then his eyes skip back to Monty’s lips. They’re slightly parted.  


„You got something-„ Jasper lamely starts, then decides ‚fuck it’. He leans in, pressing his lips against Monty’s, licking the sugar off them. His hand comes up, cupping the side of Monty’s face.  


When he lets go, he looks terrified.

And then it clicks.

Monty can almost hear the pieces falling together. The avoidance, the nervous glances, shaking hands. The coming out and the kiss at their afterglow and the kiss at Finn’s party. Norah Jordan’s words make an awful lot of sense now.  


Jasper starts to move backwards, horrified by what he’s done, certain that he’s ruined a friendship he didn’t want to ruin. Monty’s heart speeds up. He surges forward.  


Monty’s hands cup Jasper’s face as he presses his lips against the other boy’s. Jasper makes a surprised noise, then eases into the kiss, hand resting in Monty’s neck. One, two, three heartbeats.  


„Why?” Jasper asks, trying to catch his breath. His eyes search Monty’s face for a sign, something that tells him this is a dream. „How?”  
He’s stunned.

Monty’s heart pounding vividly.  


„I never felt like I was in love,” Monty whispers, eyes moving from Jasper’s lips to his eyes, „because I’ve never been out of love.”  
Jasper laughs, lighting up the sky above them brighter than any of the stars.

„And it took you this long to find out?”  


„Jasper fricking Jordan,” Monty huffs, although he doesn’t really sound angry. „I am trying to tell you I’ve been in love with you since I was seven, and you are complaining about how long it took me to find out? It’s all I’ve ever known.”  


„Beautiful, you dweeb,” Jasper says, smiling. It still feels surreal to him.  


„Just shut up and kiss me again, nerd.”

 

* * *

 

Loving Jasper Jordan had always been this: exploring the streets, roaming the night, exploding stars and supernovas. Cotton candy and glow in the dark stars, stubbed toes and spider-man band-aids on a soar that wasn’t that bad.

It had also always been milkshakes, eating your favorite cake after a particularly bad day, standing in a rain storm. It would soak you to the bone, seeping in until all you knew was love.    


Every time Jasper Jordan whispered a secret to Monty Green, he reached for the stars and gave them to him. Monty-and-Jasper were their own constellation, satellites circling and comets crashing. Loving Jasper Jordan was otherworldly, but so goddamn normal because it was all Monty Green had ever done.

And now, Monty Green was aware of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear it!  
> To all of you who've made it this far: thanks for sticking with me. I love you. Thanks for staying with me 'til the end of the line. I really appreciate it.
> 
> Sadly, all good things must come to an end. 
> 
> I still have a board for this fic: pinterest.com/labysprinter/small-town-kids-suburbia/


	16. Epilogue (Twenty Six Years Old)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!  
> also: major time-lapse, I know!?
> 
> I couldn't just leave it at that okay. I need the fluff.
> 
> SO. Warnings for fluff. A lot of fluff. And kissing. And some sexually implied things, but it's not explicit. I hope you guys enjoy this!
> 
> as per usual, completely unbeta'd, so if there are any mistakes I'd like to hear it!

„I still can’t believe I get to do this.”  


„Jasper Jordan, it has been five years-„  


„-outrageous!”  


„You’re only holding my hand.”  


„I’m just happy with what I can take,” Jasper hums.  


„Well you know what? You can take me-„ Jasper wiggles his eyebrows. Monty rolls his eyes. „- on a road trip.”  


„When?”  


„This summer,” Monty muses. They’re walking up to the small house on the edge of town Monroe and Harper had bought the previous summer, hands intertwined. Jasper’s buzzing. Last time they went on a road trip was after graduating high school. It somehow feels right, though, to go on a road trip again. They finished university, and life was heading their way fast.  


„You think you’ll manage to get two weeks off of work?”  


„I have my way of persuading people,” Monty smiles slyly. Jasper snorts.  


„Baking cakes with my help to offer them to your superiors does not count as persuading people,” Jasper comments.  


„Yes, legally the term would be ‚bribing’. But we’re not criminals,” Monty says, then thoughtfully looks into the void. „Actually, I’ll consider being a criminal if it means I can finally take off a few weeks.”  


Jasper gives Monty’s hand a small squeeze, then gently tugs him forward until they’re standing in front of the Monroe-MacIntyre household’s front door. He takes a look upon Monty’s face, lazily tracing the outlines of his eyes and nose and cheeks with his own eyes. Jasper softly sighs, contently, still not able to fully believe that this face belongs to a person who wants him to be his, has wanted it over the course of the last five years, still wants _him_ to be his significant other. Quickly Jasper presses a soft kiss to Monty’s cheek, still making him blush, before knocking on the front door and grinning his sharp, mischievous smile. He looks Monty in the eye.  


„So let’s be criminals.”

 

Harper is the one who opens the door, hugging both of them before letting them in. She swings close the door painted in a soft yellow, revealing several friendly faces crammed together on two tiny couches. Monroe’s running around offering everyone cake, drinks, everything. When the boys enter Fox is opening the back door, letting a breeze of air in and a lot of warmth out. Clarke has found a place on the armrest of one of the couches and is currently chatting with Miller, who’s sitting next to Bryan. The place is packed, but it’s in a way they’re all familiar and comfortable with.  


„What a snazzy little place you got,” Jasper says, smiling.

„Snazzy?” Monroe raises an eyebrow.  


„It’s looking nice,” Monty nods, agreeing.  


„Well thank you, Monty,” Monroe smiles. „We just need to redecorate a bit, but that’ll come with time.” 

„And money,” Monroe adds, shrugging. „Want anything, gentlemen?”  


„I’ll have some tea,” Monty says, still holding Jasper’s hand.  


„How domestic, Montgomery,” Jasper teases. Monty raises an eyebrow. Jasper smirks. „I’ll have some tea as well.”  


„How _domestic_ ,” Monty mimics Jasper’s voice, causing him to laugh. Jasper gives Monty a small shove, but doesn’t untangle their hands. They manage to find themselves some space on the couches, wriggled in between the others.  


„-really, everyone was saying how they liked the flowers. Even my granny told me she liked the flowers- and she only ever loves succulents!”  


„Of all the plants,” Murphy mutters, and Bellamy starts to laugh.  


„It’s the only plant you’re able to keep alive,” he states, earning a slight punch to the bicep.  


„Ow,” he mutters, still laughing.  


„It’s true,” Miller says, earning a burning glare from Murphy.  


„I hate you,” Murphy says. Miller shakes his head, in a ‚not the way I meant it’ fashion.  


„We want your flowers at our wedding too,” Miller says, and for a moment the room falls silent. They all freeze, collectively holding their breath. Bryan squirms nervously. 

Three weeks ago, Harper and Monroe had gotten married. It had been a whole affair, with bouquets and banquets and strange vodka and wine aunts. Harper and Monroe both had looked absolutely stunning, taking everyone’s breath away. The wedding had taken place in a small wedding chapel, while the wedding reception had mostly taken place out in the open, sunlit and bright. It had been a phenomenal night. 

„So you’re getting married?” Clarke concludes. Bryan nods reluctantly, a blush spreading across his face. Fox squeaks and lounges Bryan into a hug, while Clarke half hugs and half falls on Miller. The others start to chatter excitedly, bombarding the two with questions.  


„When are you getting married?”  


„Where is it going to take place?”  


„HOW- WHEN- Tell us all about the engagement!”  


„How long have you been- ?!”  


„So did you guys have any flowers in mind or-„  


„We’ll be in contact,” Miller answers a riddled Murphy, who’s now frowning, counting on his fingers, then turns to Bellamy.  


„We kinda need to start figuring out the expenses if everyone wants you to fix their flowers at their wedding,” he says, furrowing his brows.  


„We’ll think about that later,” Bellamy smiles, pulling Murphy in for a one-armed hug. Murphy hugs.  


„So-,” Bryan says, sipping his drink, clearly overwhelmed with the enthusiasm of everyone. „Great house!”  


„Well, great-„ Jasper starts, a grin spreading across his face. Murphy’s growling shuts him up, preventing him from making one of his lame jokes. 

Harper chuckles.  


„Thanks,” she says. „You’ve been living the better life, though.”  


„While I love my parent’s house, I think it’s time to move out,” Bryan smiles.  


„Ahw babe,” Miller says, „but it’s not like you’re home often, isn’t it?” He raises a very suggestive eyebrow. Jasper turns to face Monty in a ‚really?’ fashion and furiously hopes he won’t end up making those kind of comments.

Except he pretty much already is.  


Monty chuckles.  


„It is nice to have a place to call your own though,” Monroe smiles. „It’s just- different.”  


Monty smiles knowingly.  


 

* * *

 

So they’re really doing this. They’re going on their second road trip- completely unprepared. Jasper breathes in deeply, shaking of the nervous feeling he gets whenever he has to get behind the wheel to drive long trips. Sometimes he still wakes up, covered in sweat, ragged breathing echoing in his ears, ribs hurting and the taste of blood on his tongue, with a false memory of dead parents and a not-so-false memory of a wrecked car. In those moments -even in his sleep- Monty will mumble something incoherent yet comforting, snuggle a bit closer, burying his nose in Jasper’s neck, arms swung tightly around his warm body. 

When Jasper has to cover miles with his car, he tries to think of his first road trip, when everything had been fine, good, sometimes even glorious. He can still remember all the dinosaurs.  


„I’m gonna be very disappointed if we don’t do something dinosaur-themed,” Jasper says after swallowing, turning towards Monty. Monty scans his face but smiles, nodding.  


„Me too,” he laughs, putting the suitcase in the back of the rover. Then, softly, he adds, „are you okay?”  
Jasper nods.

„I will be,” he answers, getting behind the steering wheel. He fastens his seatbelt, and when Monty sits next to him, he says: „otherwise, it’s your fault. You thought me how to drive when we were sixteen.”  


„Ten years ago.”  


„You’re making us sound old.”  


„We are old,” Monty retorts, snorting.  


„Whatever you say, grandpa,” Jasper scoffs, but it comes out more like a laugh. „With your record player. What’s next, a walkman?”  


„For all the mix tapes I secretly made you?” Monty retorts, raising one eyebrow.  


„You made me mix tapes?” Jasper sounds surprised and amused at the same time, then starts to smile. „Secretly.”

His eyes wrinkle. There’s a light in them that Monty undeniably loves.  


„Did not,” Monty mumbles, denying everything, realizing he might’ve let his tongue slip. That wasn’t part of the plan. 

Four years ago Monty had discovered that his new dusty second-hand car still had a cassettedeck. First he only bought some stupid cassette and put it in the cassettedeck, hoping Jasper would accidentally turn the installation on in some kind of way, the way Jasper almost always managed to do. Then a plan unfolded, the most stupid yet vaguely romantic plan Monty had ever come up with. Well, not ever, but close.  


The plan was to present the mix tapes for their five year anniversary. Or just for Jasper’s twenty-sixth birthday- Monty hadn’t decided yet. The mix tapes were a variety of songs Jasper’d started listen to, songs which he loved, and spoken messages, words of encouragement. Something to calm him down whenever he got anxious driving alone, or sitting in his room watching the world slip by.  


„You totally did,” Jasper accuses Monty, able to see through the lie without the blink of an eye. Monty’s ears turn pink. Jasper smiles to himself, savoring the knowledge, but not commenting. The highway’s looking fine.

 

* * *

 

„We only have a double instead of two singles, is tha-„  


„We were kinda counting on that.”  


 

* * *

  

„You know, we could always save some time and shower together.”  


„I doubt that would actually save us time,” Monty smirks. He can see Jasper turn red, embarrassed.  


„Only if you can’t keep your hands to yourself,” Jasper huffs, throwing off his shirt.  


„Well, can you?” Monty retorts, taking off his own shirt. Jasper turns a deeper shade of red, turns towards the shower.  


„One of us will be out of warm water if we shower individually,” Jasper says, „this super deluxe motel has a grant total of fifteen minutes of hot water for taking a shower.”  


„How do you know?” Monty questions, looking at the bathroom for any clues. Jasper points to a sticky note next to the bathroom mirror.

  
_Only fifteen minutes of hot water._  
Sorry for the inconvenience.  
-Jay

„Hm,” Monty says, considering the note. „Well, let’s make the most of those fifteen minutes then,” he says, pressing a kiss to Jasper’s shoulder. He gets the water running, jumps into the shower first. The water’s nice, tender upon his skin. Jasper joins him a few minutes later, putting shampoo in his hair like there’s no tomorrow. Jasper starts to laugh, and Monty still hasn’t managed to rinse all the shampoo out of his hair when the water starts running cold. Jasper flees the shower immediately.  


„Oh, I’ll get you,” Monty warns, rinsing out the last of the shampoo. By the time he’s done he’s shivering, towel wrapped closely around his body.  


„I’d like to see you try,” Jasper calls cockily from where he’s standing in the doorway. Monty wraps his towel around his waist, then hooks his fingers through the belt loops on Jasper’s jeans and pulls him closer.  


„I bet you’d like that,” Monty smiles, pulling Jasper closer to kiss him. When their noses are almost touching and Monty can feel Jasper’s breath hitch, Monty releases the belt loops and pulls Jasper into a giant wet hug. Jasper starts to squirm, trying to escape his embrace, but Monty hasn’t stopped swimming all those years and still has quite some muscles on him. His once dry t-shirt is now soaked.  


„If you wanted me to take off my shirt you could’ve just asked,” Jasper says, pulling at the hem of his shirt. Before he can take off his shirt Monty stops him, leaning in.  


„Let me,” Monty says, looking up through his lashes, making Jasper’s breath hitch again. He will never get used to that look. There’s a slight smile on Monty’s lips. Jasper dips in to kiss it. „After all,” Monty continues after the kiss, „I’m the one that caused it.”  


In one swift motion Monty takes off Jasper’s shirt.  


„You’ve gotten good at this,” Jasper comments, eyes traveling across Monty’s face, resting at his lips.  


„Would’ve hoped so after five years of practice?”  


„Only five years?” Jasper laughs. „I didn’t know you didn’t undress yourself until you started living with me.”  


„You know what I mean,” Monty says before deciding Jasper has said enough for now. He leans in, connecting their lips. Apparently Jasper agrees with him, because he kisses back, hands coming up and resting on Monty’s waist. He leans back against the sink, letting out a small breath when their lips aren’t touching, heads rested against each other’s. Jasper’s thumb gently caresses that one spot where Monty’s jaw meets his skull, just below his ear. Monty feels his heart thud and Jasper dips in for a small peck on the lips.  


„We should get going,” he says, turning them around so that it’s Monty who’s leaning against the sink. Monty places his right hand on the back of Jasper’s necks and pulls him in for one last kiss.  


„Yeah,” he says when he’s released Jasper, who’s practically glowing. „We should.”  


He’s so entranced by the way Jasper’s looking that he doesn’t notice him stealing his shirt until Jasper’s suddenly not in front of him anymore, but in the doorway, grinning at him like he’s won a Mario Kart battle.  


„You coming?”

 

* * *

 

Somedays life is just life, which means that it just sucks. Today is one of those days. While Jasper’s doing his cool temporary barristah thing, Monty’s trying to find a job that will actually earn him some money, something to pay off his student loans. It’s not that there aren’t any jobs out there- it’s just that there aren’t any interesting ones, not ones in which he can grow, learn, something which will allow him to continue studying aside from working. Monty wants to keep studying.

Today’s job interview had gone horrible. Not only did he manage to mess up saying his own name, words tumbling out at the wrong pace and wrong time, with a certain surname not belonging to him following his own, but he also managed to give the interviewee the absolute wrong impression, somehow insult his cat, and shatter one of the photo frames decorating the ugly grey-steel desk. Really, who has a grey-steel desk?  
At least Monty knows he won’t be expecting a callback. 

His muscles ache as he walks up to the front door of the apartment, where they still live after all these years. It’s getting crowded, too small for his liking. It was nice for when they were students, but now-  
Monty sighs.

When he opens the front door, the apartment is covered in total darkness. Monty frowns, trying to turn on the lights, but failing. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees something glisten. There’s a small candle lit on the table behind the door. Then he sees one on the kitchen counter, a small lamp on one of the kitchen shelfs, and another one on one of the higher shelves. A path of light trails upward, until he sees the glow in the dark stars trailing across the ceiling, glowing faintly in the direction of his room. He follows the path, opens his door, and is welcomed by an insane amount of stars covering his room. For a moment, Monty lets his eyes wander, his mind marvel at the universe contained in his room. There’s a note waiting on his bed.  


_“Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning. ”_

That’s what it reads. Monty looks around, wondering what the second star could be, what it will be. Then it occurs to him. He walks out of his room and straight into Jasper’s.

He grinds to a halt when he opens the door.

Jasper’s room is not filled with the stars of the galaxy lamp Monty owns, but somehow it still looks like he’s pulled the stars down and let them loose in his room. Little lights twinkle all around them, as well as the plastic comets that light up, planets that dangle from the ceiling. And then there’s Jasper, sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by candles.  


The first thing Monty says is: „Jasper Jordan, you’re a fire hazard.”  


Jasper laughs, delighted.  


„Monty Green,” he says, stretching out a hand for Monty to take, not moving. Monty walks towards Jasper, taking his hand and sitting across him. Jasper gently rubs his finger across the back of his hand, making Monty relax instantly. It’s silent for a moment. There’s a flicker of the candles, and Monty breathes out slowly, humming contently, letting his heart skip that one beat it always does whenever he’s reunited with Jasper again, the one he’d never noticed until five years prior, but now so vividly there that he wonders how he’s ever missed it. „I made all of this for you.”   


„Explore the galaxy,” Monty muses, returning the gesture and rubbing his thumb across Jasper’s. „It starts in your room,” the words are merely a ghost on his lips, nothing more but an impression. Monty hears Jasper inhale sharply.  


„You remember,” Jasper whispers, and he sounds surprised. He is surprised. He hadn’t thought that- well, maybe Monty would get the reference. But he hadn’t expected to remember the exact words Jasper had said when Monty’d seen his starry ceiling for the first time.  


„Well, yea-„ Monty is interrupted by Jasper’s on his own, kissing him deeply, taking him by surprise, before releasing him again. „-h,” Monty weakly finishes, panting slightly. He resists the urge to kiss Jasper again, just waits patiently holding his hand. There has to be a reason for all of this- the lights, stars, candles.  


Jasper swallows, shifts, then takes Monty’s other hand in his other hand, following his own movement with his eyes.  


„Monty Green,” he starts, eyes still trained on their hands. He shifts again, then lets his eyes travel upwards, meeting Monty’s eyes. „Will you move in with me?”  


Monty’s dumbfounded for a moment.  


„B-but we- we’re already living together,” he states, confused, eyebrows knitted together. Jasper’s head moves, nodding, then shaking. Jasper fumbles, retrieves something from his pocket, folds Monty’s hand open and closes it off with his own hand. Monty feels a cold metal moving against his own skin, recognizes the shape.  


„Monty Green,” Jasper says again, eyes on their hands again, then his eyes. „Will you move in with me?”  
Monty’s heart races. One heartbeat. He answers.

„Yes,” he breathes. Jasper lets out a sigh of relieve, then starts to gleam. He wraps his arms around Monty, holding him tightly. Monty moves to sit in his lap, cupping Jasper’s face with both of his hands, looking him in the eyes.  


„Jasper Jordan,” Monty says, „you weren’t actually afraid I was going to say no, were you? Not when we’re already living together and have been for seven years- and I was the one who asked you to.”  


„Exactly,” Jasper mumbles. Monty surges in to kiss him on the mouth, then his forehead, nose, cheekbones, until their lips reconnect and his lips start traveling down Jasper’s throat. Jasper gasps, then presses his lips against Monty’s forehead, and smiles.  


„Nerd,” Monty mumbles affectionately.  


„Your nerd,” Jasper smiles. „ _Dweeb_.”  


 

* * *

 

Jasper had seen the house a few weeks before, but couldn’t muster the courage to ask Monty to buy it with him. In an instance, he knew it would be perfect for the two of them. A few blocks down Harper and Monroe’s new home, sandwiched between the city and the suburbs, not isolated but still calm and easily accessible. Definitely bigger than the apartment they were living in.

So he came up with something. It wasn’t much of a plan, really. He’d make an appointment, go in, see if it really was what he was looking for, what they’d be looking for. No harm done. And if he’d like it, he would talk to the landlord, rentmaster, whoever he needed to tell, that he had serious interest, but that he’d have to convey with his partner. He’d ask if they’d come back for a second viewing. It so happened that he’d gotten the spare key to the house for one day. 

The real estate agent had thrown him one look and said: „Son, I’ve been in this business long enough to know that when a young man like you says he has to ‚convey with his partner’ he actually means he still has to ask his sweet to move in with him. Do you your thing. I’ll give you one chance to show the house to your love privately, have a walk through. If it don’t work out you bring back the key alone, and I’ll know to go lookin’ for another buyer- if there is one,” that last part had been mumbled. So the date had been set, and Jasper’d made sure he’d gotten off of work. He just needed a plan.  


Of course, simply asking was an option, even though in Jasper’s mind it wasn’t really. He and Monty had been through much together, shared their lives for the most part, would hopefully continue sharing their lives. In a house. Maybe with a cat and a dog and a blender and a decently working oven and _stairs_. 

So it deserved something bigger. Better.

Like Monty deserved the universe.

That’s of course when the idea had come to mind. It only took a week of careful planning and buying unsuspicious amount of candles a time. And then it’d happened, and Monty had said ‚yes’ _very_ convincingly.  
Monty’d agreed. The house _was_ perfect for them.

So here they are, moving into their new home. Admittingly, they will be missing grumpy-neighbour-Murphy, and landlady Indra, but they figure they can always visit when they want to.  


„Where do you want this?” Joseph Jordan asks, looking at the two of them.  


„Just get it inside dad,” Jasper says, walking past his father towards the truck. Norah passes him on his way, smiling brightly at her son.  


„Will do, son,” Joseph beams.

 

* * *

 

„So you want this wall painted yellow?” Clarke frowns.  


„Like, a lemon yellow?” Maya’s nose wrinkles as she tries to imagine a whole wall in a bright yellow. She thinks she’s just discovered what she doesn’t want for her home- bright colors. Neon orange. Bright yellow, pink, red. No, just- no. Maya thinks she’ll have to keep it simple. It’s not that she’s likely to be home many time, if things work out the way she’s planned them. So far, they have- med school is hard but worth it, she knows. She’s only managed to get a weekend off, decided to pay everyone a visit, inviting them for a NYE in NYC. 

It’ll be great.  


Jasper seems to consider painting the wall the color of lemons. Monty sighs.  


„It’s more of a crème color,” he says. „It’s pretty neutral, but not that cold modern white I grew up with.” 

„Oh,” Maya laughs, „well, I like that. Clarke?” she asks.  


„Let’s get to work,” Clarke smiles. They start painting the wall, a cheap radio blasting pop music through the speakers. All is well until someone- definitely not Jasper- accidentally drops his brush and splatters the others with paint, which in itself startles Clarke, who playfully splatters Jasper. It’s not long before they’re almost covered in more paint then the wall. Monty sighs.  


„Let’s take a break,” he says, putting down the brush.  


„Sounds good to me,” Clarke says before putting down hers too. Maya just nods, and Jasper’s still laughing from their paint fight. Monty makes them milkshakes, two little ones and one big. In the tall glass he puts two straws, with a little curl in them. Jasper insisted on getting them, seeing as they used to be Monty’s favorite and it was their first token of friendship. Monty had just smiled, blushed slightly, and put them with the rest of their things.  


„Aw, you made us milkshakes!” Jasper cheers as he walks into the kitchen, finally done laughing. „Thanks.” He presses a quick kiss to Monty’s cheek before taking a sip. „Banana!”  


„ To match the walls?” Maya asks, smiling. They laugh and chat a bit, catching up, before going back to work.

 

* * *

 

It’s a habit still, Jasper cooking, Monty sitting on the kitchen counter. Jasper is glad it stayed that way. When he starts cooking in their new home for the first time, Monty hops onto the counter, watches Jasper move.  


„Maybe I should learn how to cook,” Monty says, thoughtfully. Jasper raises an eyebrow.  


„Why?”  


„So you can catch a break sometime,” Monty smiles.  


„But I like cooking,” Jasper protests. „Also, if you’re cooking I won’t be able to do this.” He puts down the knife, walks over to Monty. Standing in between his legs Jasper loops his fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, pulling Monty closer, leaning in to kiss him, doing as he imagined all those years ago. Monty closes the distance between them, grabbing a fistful of Jasper’s shirt and pulling him closer, causing Jasper to stumble.  


„Not very safe,” Monty mutters against Jaspers lips. Jasper’s too lost in the moment to care.  


„Hmhm,” he vaguely mumbles, making their lips meet again. Their bodies meet and Monty gasps, not willing to let go.  


„Convinced me there,” Monty breathes eventually, eyes resting on Jasper’s lips, now slightly swollen and red from kissing. He leans in closer. „Imagine if I could cook like that,” he whispers, and he hears Jasper swallow very loudly. Jasper pulls away, slowly, Monty’s fingertips burning against his skin, warming his joints and muscles, setting every artery in his body ablaze.  


„Then there wouldn’t be much cooking,” Jasper answers, a small smile twisting on the corner of his mouth, voice husky.  


„If it were up to me, there wouldn’t be much cooking now either,” Monty responds, moving ever so slightly. He can see how Jasper tenses up, starting to turn around, and then his stomach starts to grumble.

„Your stomach is telling me otherwise,” Jasper laughs, turning to swiftly kiss Monty, then continues chopping up the food. Monty softly hums, watching Jasper do his magic, and notices while little has changed _everything_ has changed. He thinks he can get used to it.

 

* * *

 

„So what about that cat?”  


„What cat?”  


„We should totally get a cat”  


„We _really_ shouldn’t.”

„Aw come on, you know how much I miss Newton!”  


„Well, I doubt he’s been missing you,” Monty teases.  


„Unfair!” Jasper calls, shoving Monty playfully.  


„Plus,” Monty continues, „I thought I was your Newton now, waking up beside you, being all cute and cuddly.”  


„You’re way more irresistible,” Jasper says. „But no cats then?”  


„How about a goldfish?”  


„No,” Jasper decides. „Maybe- a guinea pig?”  


„Maybe,” Monty sighs. „We don’t have to get a pet. Though I suppose a dog would be-„ he looks up at Jasper, knowing this slight distaste for dogs 

Jasper’s always had.  


„-good,” Jasper finishes. Monty bats his eyelashes a few times before the words sink in.  


„Really?” he asks, astounded, and Jasper starts to nod, slowly. 

„Yeah, yeah, sure,” he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself, and Monty finds it hard to keep his heart from melting. „If Murphy can get a Golden Retriever, we can get a dog too. We’ll need to prepare the garden first, though.”  


„I’m on it,” Monty smiles, leaning back against Jasper. They’re lying on their couch, entangled, watching some stupid show on TLC. Monty starts to play with Jasper’s hand, touching his fingers lightly one by one.  


„So how about marriage?” Monty offers, eventually. He has been thinking about it a lot, sometimes looking down at his finger and wishing there’d be a ring on it, something to show the world- he wasn’t ever going to be anyone else’s.  


„What about it?”  


„Would you marry me?”  


„Monty Green, are you asking me to marry you while we’re lying on the couch watching some sloppy TLC show?”  


„It’s Say Yes To The Dress, Jasper. It’s appropriate,” Monty says, and Jasper chuckles. „But no, I asked would. Hypothetically.”  


„Well, I would,” Jasper says, smile audible through his voice. „Hypothetically.”  


„Good,” Monty says, intertwining their fingers. „Because I would marry me too.” He laughs. „And you. Hypothetically.”  


„Hypothetically,” Jasper hums, snuggling closer.

 

* * *

  
  
They walk past Fox her little shop on their way to Bellamy’s and Murphy’s recently opened flower store. Turns out Murphy is a merciless business man, able to keep everything going while Bellamy charms every customer into buying flowers. They already had something of a name before they opened because of the story that spread through the suburbs about their flowers at Harper and Monroe’s wedding. On opening day, there’d been so many customers they stayed open three more hours than they’d planned. Murphy and Bellamy had been exhausted, but delighted all the same. Glowing with pride they met the others when the shop closed up, hosting a small party in their apartment above the shop. Octavia had returned with Murphy’s golden retriever, who wagged his tail at the side of him and almost pulled Octavia across the street to get to Murphy. Wells, who now was working at a law firm, had been there, just like Lincoln, Fox, Bryan, Murphy, Raven -who was kicking ass in all sorts of ways, Fox- just everyone from their childhood really, and Mbege. Even Atom had showed up for a bit, even though he had to go at some point because his shift at the fire station was starting.

„You know what?” Jasper asks while they’re walking towards the flower shop. Monty raises an eyebrow.  


„Hit me.”  


„We should build a tyre swing,” Jasper muses. „I miss the old one.”  


„Yes,” Monty agrees, „me too.”  


„That’s settled then,” Jasper smiles, entering the shop. A bell rings.  


„Good afternoon,” they hear Bellamy greet from the back. When he appears around the corner his face lights up in recognition. 

„Hey guys!” He embraces both of them. „Anything I can help you with?”  


„Just looking for some garden plants,” Jasper shrugs.  


„Did you have anything in mind?” he looks at Monty, seeing as he’s still the one -after all these years- with the most knowledge about plants and  gardening. Monty starts to list of a few plants, easily slipping into a comfortable conversation with Bellamy, of which Jasper quickly loses track. He walks around the store, looking at the flowers. If they were to marry, which flowers would he like?  


„Jordan,” Murphy’s grin’s still sharp like a shark’s. „Come to admire our flowers?”  


„Come to admire your dashing face?”  


„You flatter me, Jordan. But I’m not gonna cheat on my sexy as hell piece of boyfriend charming your man into buying plants.”  


„We’re not married.”  


„Yet,” Murphy smiles. „Any plans yet? Let me know. I want to win a few bets.”  


„Which bets?”  


„The one I’ll be starting when I hear when you’re planning to get engaged. Let me know when the question is popped so I can make money.”  


„Only if you’ll do the same for me,” Jasper smirks, knowing Murphy doesn’t mean anything by it. He expects a snarky comment in respons, a ‚phfsh’ or some kind of other distasteful sound, but Murphy starts to splutter and turns very red instead. Jasper’s eyes are going wide.  


„Wait, you’re actually- cons-„

„Hush Jordan,” Murphy whispers sneeringly, then sighs. „I’ve been thinking about it, yeah. Damn me if he isn’t the best thing that’s gonna happen to me.”  


„Is happening,” Jasper corrects with a soft smile. „You’re dating. Running a business. Hell, you even have a dog.”  


„I had that dog before we -„ Murphy gestures towards the shop. „I rescued her.”  


Jasper only hums in response.  


„John,” Bellamy beams, noticing his boyfriend standing beside Jasper. „Figured everything out?”  


„Oh, I’m sure he’s figured everything out,” Jasper grins, sending him a look Bellamy doesn’t quite understand.  


„Yeah, I did,” Murphy says, ignoring Jasper’s comment. Jasper turns towards Monty.  


„You got everything?”  


Monty nods.

 

* * *

 

Jasper Jordan has always been an excitable kid. Monty has not. But when Jasper, all tall and handsome, lanky and doe eyed, asked him to be his, Monty’s heart skipped a beat, and he felt like he’s flying. He’d looked him straight into his eyes, finding nothing but fondness. 

That had been five years ago. Five years ago, in the amusement park, and yet, every time Jasper walked into the room Monty knew he was where he needed -wanted- to be. Currently he’s standing in the garden, smiling as Bryan’s standing behind the grill, Miller at his side, like the first time he was introduced to them when they were seventeen. Jasper’s in the tyre swing they made, resting while he’s chatting with Raven and Wells. Monty sees the flowers surrounding the tree, the ones he planted with his father; the first flowers in the garden.   
Jasper let’s his thoughts wander for a minute, just looks at the way Monty’s standing there, shoulders down, guard down. He hasn’t changed much since high school, in all honesty, just has gotten slightly more muscle definition, a bit taller, a bit older. The biggest change is in the way he carries himself.

Jasper hasn’t changed much either. His hair’d grown out again after the accident, curly and dark. He’d switched jobs a few times, graduated. The biggest change had been in the way he was allowed to look at Monty. _Is_ to look at Monty. Jasper doesn’t really think the way he looks at Monty has changed, but it feels different. He is allowed now.

Monty is making his way towards Jasper.  


„Food’s almost ready,” he says. „Come help serve the salad?” He presses a quick kiss to Jasper’s lips under a chorus of ‚aaaaaaw’s before walking towards their kitchen.  


„Duty calls,” Jasper smiles before getting up. „I hope you’ll enjoy the salad ladies.”  


Raven smirks at him before he follows Monty into the kitchen. They return just in time. Bryan announces that the first things from the grill are ready. They gather around, cup in one hand, plate in another.  


„To Jasper and Monty, for gathering us here today and hosting this beautiful barbecue,” Fox start. „To their five-year anniversary, even though they’ve been a three-legged creature for so long it’s sometimes hard to remember when it became official.”  


„And that, people, is exactly why we have to organize barbecues like this,” Jasper retorts, causing laughter to rise. Fox smiles at him.  


„To a friendship that may never fade,” she continues, raising her cup.  


„To the small town kids,” Clarke nods. Slowly everyone starts raising their cup.  


„May we grow old together,” Monty says, and Jasper wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him closer.  


„And may we meet again,” Clarke concludes, raising her cup. „To the kids from the block!”  


„To us,” it echoes, everyone toasting before scattering, filling their plates with food and chattering.

 

* * *

 

Monty Green’s scared of how familiar he’s grown to the feeling of being in love with Jasper Jordan. He’s scared of the way Jasper manages to sweep him of his feet, again and again. Monty Green’s scared of being in love, but with Jasper, he feels nothing but at ease. 

Everyday when Jasper wakes up, he’s greeted by the sight of his best friend next to him, often sleeping peacefully, eyes fluttered close. He lets his heart calm down and tells himself how happy he is to be where he is now. Jasper Jordan doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of the kisses, the arms swung around him, the feeling of their bodies locking, the scraped knees and the bike rides and the starry skies and the galaxies and universes and movie marathons. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of being the little spoon and the cooking and the way Monty’s eyes crinkle when he smiles, of that one laugh he has when he sees something on the internet he doesn’t really want to think is funny but does think his funny. Jasper Jordan had been scared of loving once. He will not make that mistake twice- not when it concerns Monty Green.

Monty tugs at Jasper’s tie, which he has chosen to wear on his first official day of work, pulling him in for a kiss. Jasper’s breath hitches before connecting his lips with Monty’s. He’s still unsteady and wobbly, trying to stand on this new legs of being allowed to love Monty Green the way he’s longed to for a long time. He doesn’t think he’ll get used to it. They hope they’ll never get used to it.

Jasper presses a kiss to Monty’s forehead before he’s off to work as a chemistry teacher. He turns out to love the job, tells Monty in flying colors about his day, giddy and exited, the way he would when they were kids.  
Monty decides then and there that he wants to have kids someday, and that those kids are going to have the most dedicated, loving parents and grandparents they could ever imagine. And aunts and uncles, for that matter.

Jasper doesn’t protest.  


„We should probably get our dog first, though,” he adds. Monty nods.  


„And get married.”  


„Legitimately,” Jasper smiles.  


„Legitimately,” Monty agrees.

Jasper Jordan has always been an excitable kid, but Monty Green is what makes the world exciting.

 

Jasper Jordan lives with his best friend, lover, and a dog in a detached house in the cool suburbs of a quiet American town. His parents live a half hour drive away. His father still teaches at the town’s college, and his mother works a part-time job in the library. There is room between the houses, a space Jasper and Monty have vastly explored as kids. They’re not kids anymore, officially, but mentally

\- well, somethings will never change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear what you think, what you liked, etc.  
> I'm grateful that you've made it this far and stuck with this story. 
> 
> Love you loads,  
> Jess

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you have any thoughts on this, please share!


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